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amysosillyamysosilly
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on the following situation....

I invited a cousin (mainly because I felt guilted) to our wedding.  The invitation was only addressed to her and her husband.  I received the RSVP yesterday and it was for 6 people! I wanted to keep the guest count down for two reasons.  One, we wanted only close friends and family so that we could have more of a family type gathering/celebration (and not have 100 people we don't really know well) and two, we are trying to keep our costs down since we are paying for the wedding ourselves and now I am really frustrated with this whole situation.  My cousin invited her three kids (two under 18, so I understood and expected that they might show up), but also her oldest son who is 20 and his wife.  I do not know her oldest son's wife and I haven't seen her son since he was 8 years old.  

I figure I am probably stuck with the 6 people RSVP, but just searching for some advice on how to handle this scenario.  Thanks.
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Re: RSVP

  • daubachsgirl23daubachsgirl23 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    You are well within your right to call her and say, "I'm sorry for the confusion, but the invitation was meant just for you and your husband.  We unfortunately can't accomodate Children and Son's Wife."  If she protests or declines because of that, tell her you're sorry she can't make it and you'll miss her.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    You are perfectly in your right as the PP said to call them up and let them know the invitation is just for the two of them.  If they push back, tell them that you're sorry they won't be able to join you.
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Call her as pp suggested.  You are NOT stuck with these people just because she wants to be rude.
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  • pinkdocmartenspinkdocmartens
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    Same thing happened to me...I invited my sister in laws parents and they tried RSVPing for the 7 ppl in their family. When I called to clarify they said they understood, then apparently they were completely offended and now refuse to come. Which is fine with me! :)
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  • sparkles776sparkles776 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    That is seriously so rude, I would definitely call her up and let her know it was just for her and her husband. As PPs have said, if they choose not to join you because of this tell her your sorry she cant make it.

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  • CassielovesandyCassielovesandy member
    First Comment
    You definitely have to call and just apologize for any confusion, but that you only reserved two seats for them and you hope they'll still come. If you let one guest get away with that, how many other guests will be able to get away with it, too? Things could start getting out of hand pretty quickly!

    I just had a cousin that I'm pretty close with do something similar to me today. I sent him an invitation with only his name on it (no "and guest") and his RSVP was for two people. I've never met nor heard of the girl's name he put down. I called and explained that we have a tight budget, so our invites are limited. I asked if it would be alright if only he came to the wedding and he told me that was fine. Well, within an hour, I heard through the grapevine that he was telling people he wasn't coming if he couldn't bring a date! Like I said, I'm pretty close to him and we really are only inviting the people that mean the most to us, so I'm really hoping he changes his mind. I'm upset of course, but I don't regret that I stood up for myself and am sticking to what I planned for my wedding.
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