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I need guidance, please.
posted at 2/2/2012 8:31 AM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
12-05-2009
GRAND RAPIDS 4014956325094364
Posts: 223
First: 8/11/2011
Last: 5/15/2012
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I was visiting my best friend of the past ten years a week ago (this has been festering in my mind awhile). She is my matron of honor, her daughter is a bridesmaid, and her older son is my godson and a ring bearer. This has been a given for as long as my fiance and I became serious and started toying with the idea of marriage. My friend is generally a really good person, though she occasionally makes bone-headed decisions. This latest one actually makes me sick to my stomach. Unless she's been lying to me since I've known her, she was raped by her boyfriend at the time and lost her virginity at 14. She blames a lot of her past bad decisions on never recovering from that. Imagine my shock when, at my visit with her last week, she tells me she and her husband of 7 years are divorcing and she's been cheating on him with her rapist!!! A man she has had, to my knowledge and her admittance, no contact with until a year ago. What the hell makes a person do this? The turmoil she is causing her children, her family, and ultimately herself is beyond anything I can possibly understand. She wants to invite him to my wedding as her partner! And please note, he is a convicted felon. My brain is seizing up trying to figure out the massive conundrum of denying her inviting him, and even remaining friends with her. I cannot respect this decision at all. My heart aches for her kids, whom I love a lot. Her husband is no longer in the house, either, as she recently called child protective services against him. He lost his temper and struck the children. This may be a problem they've been dealing with for a long time, but i don't know. His own behavior is, of course, reprehensible and unforgivable (in my book). But it doesn't excuse her behavior- two wrongs don't make a right. They all live an hour and a half away from me, so I'm quite a bit removed from the situation. I feel like all I can do is hope she comes to her senses.
Someone, give me some advice. I really need it, or at least a comforting word.This family that I feel I've been a part of for ten years is falling apart, and it breaks my heart.
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"True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen." ~La Rouchefoucauld~
