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Step-parents

Torir911Torir911 member
500 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I've never posted on this board... but I was curious about the general idea of the role steps play in the wedding? My parents are still together, but my Fi's have been divorced for about 7 or 8 years now. His dad remarried and his mother is engaged. My Fi isn't very close to either of the steps, and honestly he hates his mother's Fi since it is the man she cheated on his father with, and he views him as a "homewrecker" (I guess a better term would be he has very little respect for the man). They're cordial, but definitely not overly-friendly or anything. No issues with his step-mother. He just calls her dull :) So any hints/suggestions/previous experience with the role they should play (like getting announced into the reception? do we need photos of these people? etc...) would be really appreciated. TIA :)
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Re: Step-parents

  • salt78salt78 member
    5000 Comments
    Yes they should be annouced at the reception because I'm assuming your FI's mom would want to walk in with her husband to be. As far as photos, they should probably be in some of them, but definitely make sure to take some without them also.
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  • Night_SpriteNight_Sprite
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    They attend and sit with their spouse/fiance.  They don't need a task or job at the wedding.  Is there more to this question? 
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  • LesPaulLesPaul member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Don't need to give them any feature roles or special announcements.  Will the parents just enter the ceremony with the steps and sit down?  Doesn't sound like anyone will make a lot of drama.  Take pictures both with and without the steps to keep everyone happy.
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  • Night_SpriteNight_Sprite
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Oh, yes.  Pictures.  Salt is right.  Listen to Salt.
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  • Torir911Torir911 member
    500 Comments
    Wow was the attitude really neccessary? Really?
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  • tidetraveltidetravel member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments
    Regardless of FI's feelings about them, they are his parent's choice of partners.  He doesn't necessarily have to accept them, but he needs to respect them as such.Step-parents should walk down the aisle and be seated w/ their appropriate partners.  If you are announcing parents at the reception, they should be announced w/ their partners as well.  If married Mr. and Mrs. John Smith - if not, then Mrs. Jane Doe with Mr. John Smith.It's your choice if you want to give step-parents any flowers (bouts/corsages).  We did.  However, if you give them to one, then you need to give them to all.As far as pics go, they should be included in at least some of the family pics.  To do otherwise would be a slight to his parents (he would basically be saying that they are not apart of the family).  Make a list of pics that you want, so that your photographer knows the family dynamic.  To be honest - FI's anger is slightly misplaced if he's aiming it all at FSFIL.  His mom's the one that cheated - she should bear the majority of the blame.
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  • tidetraveltidetravel member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments
    OP - if you think there is "attitude" somewhere in the 1st 5 posts, I suggest you find another forum.  No one gave you ANY attitude here.
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  • Night_SpriteNight_Sprite
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    I wasn't even being attitude-y.  I wanted to know if you had a more specific question you were asking without articulating it.  
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  • jamm2019jamm2019 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Comments
    Our step parents didn't have a roll in the wedding.  But my dad and step mom have been married for 25 yrs and My MIL has been remarried for 15 yrs so they were in our wedding pictures.  I think it is really up to your FIL how much of a part he wants them to play, or if he wants them in the wedding pictures.
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    My mom is remarried, my dad has a live-in girlfriend. I like my mom's husband quite a bit, although he and my father are very different. My dad's girlfriend is okay. There's nothing I dislike about her, let's just say.I'll probably take pictures with my parents separately, then with their partners, them, and me, and maybe FI as well, and perhaps give them the pictures or put them in an album for them.I'm probably not announcing people at the reception.I'm only listing my parents in the program, if I do a program.I'm debating whether everyone gets corsages and bouts, or just my real parents. Leaning towards the latter.
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  • salt78salt78 member
    5000 Comments
    Yeah seriously if you thought that was attitude you are in the wrong place. And YOU'RE WELCOME for the advice! Sprite sure isn't the rude one in here.
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