Discouraged

Re: Discouraged

• katiedidthat

  

  April 2011

  How long do you have until your wedding?  We had this same problem about a month after we jumped into planning full out, and what helped was to sit down and look at the total cost divided over the time we had to pay for it.  We're doing a very simplistic wedding and it will cost around 6k, my parents are being kind enough to pay about 3k of that, but the rest is on us.  We sat down and saw that we had about 14 months to earn/save the money we needed,  so we budgeted our current incomes, cut back on extras, and we save all our extra money.  We also cut out some of the "unnecessary" parts of the wedding and we're DIYing whatever we can.  Don't let the wedding industry make you think you have to go into debt for a wedding, it can be affordable if you look for good deals and don't feel like you need a ton of extra stuff. 

  

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• kmmssg mod

  

  April 2011

  I'm a 3 time MOB.  This day has to be about what you and FI want, not about your Mom's dreams of seeing her little girl come down the aisle.
  
  Can you sit down with your mom and share your feelings regarding the whole thing?  Maybe you can chat and redo what the "vision" will be for your wedding day.
  
  These things are crazy expensive and there are times when people spend a fortune they have no business spending in the name of having a big wedding.
  
  Think about what is important to you and FI, then think about the budget.  Sit down with mom and go from there.  In our defense....I think there may be a gene or something that flips a switch when our girls get engaged.  Some of us reign that little bugger in and some of us have a harder time than others.  Sometimes we need gentle reminders that we have gone into overdrive... 

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• em01092 member

  

  April 2011

  This is all very good advice. Take a deep breath! You can have a wedding without breaking the bank. I know it seems impossible, but you can! Look at all of the budget tips and tools available here, and talk with your FI and family about costs. 

  
  

  Maybe you could have a very intimate wedding, with just family and close friends? This would cut down on costs dramatically. One of my friends flew to Vegas, rented her dress, and had only their parents and best friends attend. Do whatever you want to do, whatever feels right. Don't feel pressured to put on a show. 

  April Siggy Challenge-Wedding Escape: Reading HG/dreaming about Peeta.... Bio-Updated 4/22**

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• vexie member

  

  April 2011

  Oh yes.. take a deep breath.. maybe another one.... put away the bridal magazines, stop going to the bridal shows and talk to your fiance about what parts of the day really matter to you.  The 'industry' (and even some brides on the Knot) will try to tell you that you need a bazillion things in order to make it the perfect day... but you don't.  All you really need is you, your fiance, an officiant, a licence and some witnesses... everything else is just icing on the cake. 
  
  Realistically look at what you can afford and then plan accordingly. You can plan a gorgeous wedding day on pretty much any budget so long as you prioritize and get creative. 
  
  Don't get sucked into the commericalism of weddings if you can manage it... there is always more you can do, more money you can spend, but you know what? People will only remember how pretty you looked, if the food was good and if they had fun.  Don't sweat the rest
  
  Good luck!!

  84 73 11 Wedding date: June 11, 2011

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• snh23

  

  April 2011

  I agree with everyone on here. Sit back for a few months (if your wedding is over a year away) and take some time to enjoy being engaged. We totally fell into the whole propaganda of having a big wedding, and after about three months, we sat down and decided it wasn't for us (we originally had 285 ppl on our guest list, and now it's cut down to 165--still a lot, but MUCH better than before). We contemplated Vegas a few times, but FH's mom doesn't flly so that was dropped ;-) Your wedding is what YOU and FH want, not anyone else. You can have a beautiful wedding on any budget, as long as you take your time and enjoy the process. 

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• Avion22 member

  

  April 2011

  Wedding planning isn't fun...at least not for me.  I'm just not cut out to be a party planner.  I guess I'm not the only one who doesn't find every moment enjoyable.
  
  For me, the ideal situation is that we pick out a few things that matter to me (photographer, dress, suit, location), and everything else just happens so all we have to do is show up and have fun:-)  Unfortunately, I can't afford a wedding planner, so that's not gonna happen....
  

  

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• wiwicaty

  

  April 2011

  Don't be discouraged, your wedding is in your and your FI's hands. Your mom means well and is clearly happy about her daughter getting married. What she did was to provide inspiration and that's something you will need in order to get a clear idea of what you want your wedding to be like and all the details (big and small) you might want to include. You don't have to do exactly what magazines say and surely don't have to pick those expensive vendors they feature. You can DIY many things, maybe most things and have your dream day. For almost everything there is a less expensive or DIY alternative, so don't worry. The budget board can help greatly, the lovely ladies on there will share all the things they did without and all the ways they have saved. 

  I'm a terrible budgeter and we kinda splurged on things like the venue but keeping the event intimate (20 guests) and planning a light heavy apps and cake reception has helped us keeping the spending under control. Also, we don't have BMs/GM, bridal parties can be expensive so skipping them is something you might want to consider. 

  Sit down with your FI to figure out a realistic budget, calculate how much you can save each week/month to fulfill it and for how long. After you have done this you'll feel like you've made progress. There's something positive and exciting about saving to make your day a reality... You won't be discouraged anymore!

  
  

  
  **LV Knotties List**DW checklist**

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• nurse.misty

  

  April 2011

  How much your wedding costs is entirely up to you. Sit down with FI and talk about how much you are comfortable spending on your wedding, then look for vendors that fit into that budget. We are spending less than $2000 on our wedding including all attire, decorations, cake, etc. It's just our immediate family, but that's all we really need there. Don't let the wedding industry scare you. Also, check out the Budget and DIY boards on here. They have great ideas on how to save money. Good luck.

  

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• CassieeK

  

  April 2011

  You can have a great wedding  on a budget!  You don't have to let all the magazines and wedding shows sway you toward thinking every little thing matters.

  

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