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Planning a Bridal Shower

poptartsrock01poptartsrock01 member
10 Comments
in Florida-Central Florida
When planning a bridal shower, how involved should the mother of the groom be?As far as details, location decisions, and planning... should it be made a high priority to make the mother of the groom feel involved? Or should the bridal shower be an event, where she is a guest of honor. And it doesn't matter one way or another. The last bridal shower I hosted, the mother of the groom kind of just showed up. I want to make sure that I shouldn't be reaching out, and involving her instead. TIA :)
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Re: Planning a Bridal Shower

  • AlexiaANDRobertAlexiaANDRobert
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It all depends on who is hosting.  If she's hosting, she should be very active in planning.  If all the maids are hosting and want to include her, that's their decision. My sisters just hosted my bridal shower and my FMIL was just like any other guest. And I don't really think you need to reach out and involve her since you're not really supposed to be part of the planning.  I think this is one of the few times you can just sit back and enjoy. HTH!
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  • umcollegegrlumcollegegrl
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    One of my BMs and one of my SILs planned my shower with help from my mom, and FMIL. It was held at FMIL's house, so she was very involved :-) For one of my friends, only her BMs hosted, and both moms were really just guests. If you're worried that FMIL might feel left out, perhaps whoever is hosting your shower can ask her if she'd like to be involved?
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  • tanarwtanarw
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think it really depends on who's throwing the shower and how they feel about involving additional folks.  My sister is throwing mine, but is only involving my mom in it, just to keep things low key. Isn't it tradition that the bride's family throw the shower (in the past, anyway)?  If you're more about following tradition, then that would make the MIL more of a guest than involved in the planning.Of course, it's going to vary per person and per circumstances...I say go with your gut and do whatever you feel most comfortable with!  Good luck!
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  • jackx18jackx18
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It ALL depends.  My MIL didn't help with any of the planning and did not show up to any of my showers.  Didn't even RSVP.
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  • poptartsrock01poptartsrock01 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh Jackx18, that sucks. (Oh maybe it doesn't?)And yeah, thanks everyone. To clarify, I'm the Maid of Honor in this wedding so I am throwing the shower.When it boils down to it, I'm just trying to figure out if I need to worry about having it at MY fmil's house vs. her house. Some people (just) mentioned that it might be nice if I saw if she would want it at her place, as a way of including her. And of course I don't want to offend her. MY OPINION: If she wanted to offer her home for a bridal shower, she would have reached out to me. (Or passed the message along.) I think it's rude to bring it up, without it being offered. She might not want it all the people in her home, and I don't want her feeling pressured by me mentioning it. Who knows. :)Hah. Sorry so long! Lord.
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  • tanarwtanarw
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think that if she wanted to be involved in some way, she would have reached out.  I agree with you that it would be hard to just jump in and say, hey, can we have it at your house?  She might not look at it as being involved voluntarily, you know?Stuff like this always makes me crazy - I never know what the appropriate thing to do is!  Good luck with it!
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  • poptartsrock01poptartsrock01 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hah, thanks!
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  • John and Charisma <3John and Charisma <3
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It really just depends on who is hosting and whether or not she seems like she wants to be really involved.
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  • AileeneGAileeneG member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It was always my understanding that the family of the couple shouldn't really be involved in throwing or hosting the shower because it's like the family is soliciting gifts. With the exception of a family member in the bridal party being able to help host along with other members of the BP. In that case, I wouldn't worry about including her in the planning if you don't want to, but if you felt like making the effort, you could always ask for input like if she could bring a dessert that she likes to make or something like that or something that she really wants to do.
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