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Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor

Texas-Houston

Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor

Hey Houston brides and grooms. Chat here about the best tips, Knottie GTGs, and wedding planning in your area.

My maid of honnor isnt avalible to help me out with any of my wedding plans so another bridesmaid is helping me out. Ive been thinking maybe I should have my bridesmaid be my MOH instead since she's h

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Texas-Houston

Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor

Hey Houston brides and grooms. Chat here about the best tips, Knottie GTGs, and wedding planning in your area.

Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:121

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Forums > Local Wedding Boards > Texas-Houston > Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor

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Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor

posted at 2/3/2012 11:51 PM EST on theknot.com

pringletocreech

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Re: Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor

posted at 2/3/2012 11:56 PM EST on theknot.com

robsco

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Does your MOH understand her role or do you think that maybe she just doesn't care or have the time?

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Re: Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor

posted at 2/4/2012 3:10 PM EST on theknot.com

monkeysip

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The MOH's duties are to buy a dress and show up on time.

You can't get upset if she doesn't do more than that. You didn't choose her so that you can have help with the wedding, but to honor her as your friend, right?

You and your fiance plan the wedding. Not your bridal party.

It's nice that your bridesmaid is helping you, but you can't replace your MOH. That could be a friendship ending move.

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Re: Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor

posted at 2/4/2012 5:03 PM EST on theknot.com

Elle1036

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In Response to Re: Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor:

The MOH's duties are to buy a dress and show up on time. You can't get upset if she doesn't do more than that. You didn't choose her so that you can have help with the wedding, but to honor her as your friend, right? You and your fiance plan the wedding. Not your bridal party. It's nice that your bridesmaid is helping you, but you can't replace your MOH. That could be a friendship ending move.
Posted by monkeysip

This. Being your MOH is an honor, not a responsibilty.

Look at my Bio - Read my Blog

"Yes. It's the only right answer to give a bride. Its like giving the answer 'jesus' in Sunday school." -Audrewuh

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Re: Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor

posted at 2/4/2012 6:13 PM EST on theknot.com

MdniteMustang00

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you can't take the MOH title away from her (well, you can technically but no, bad idea). but what you can do, is make your friend that's helping you ALSO MOH. I originally had my sister as my MOH and my best friend is the one that helped me, so i just named them both maid of honors. no biggie.

Becca & Justin - 5/16/09 - Planning Bio My Blog(updated 3/12)

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Re: Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor

posted at 2/5/2012 1:23 AM EST on theknot.com

vpine

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I wouldn't change my MOH, technically she just has to show up in her dress and give speech, the other things: planning bachelorette party, going dress shopping or vendor meetings is nice but not required.

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Re: Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor

posted at 2/5/2012 12:58 PM EST on theknot.com

pringletocreech

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I feel like she dosnt see how important this is.

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Re: Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor

posted at 2/5/2012 1:11 PM EST on theknot.com

Elle1036

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In Response to Re: Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor:

I feel like she dosnt see how important this is.
Posted by pringletocreech

How important is it?

The sooner you understand that nobody cares about your wedding as much as you do, the happier you'll be. You friend has her own life. Maid of Honor or not, it's not her job to drop everything and be your servant.

Look at my Bio - Read my Blog

"Yes. It's the only right answer to give a bride. Its like giving the answer 'jesus' in Sunday school." -Audrewuh

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Re: Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor

posted at 2/5/2012 1:42 PM EST on theknot.com

t12ubeauty

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In Response to Re: Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor:

I agree mostly that the MOH's job is not to help out with planning the actual wedding, but I think she should plan the bachleorette party and bridal shower (well along with the rest of your BM). So no do not change your MOH unless she isn't actually interested in being the MOH.

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Re: Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor

posted at 2/5/2012 1:46 PM EST on theknot.com

Soon2bMrsGski

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to me it's just a title. It seems maybe you had higher expectations for her which can be a bummer that she's maybe not helping more, but she's really not required to. It's awesome that your other BM is willing to help you so much. I would definately keep her as your MOH unless she is just really not wanting to have that kind of part in your day.

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Re: Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor

posted at 2/5/2012 4:46 PM EST on theknot.com

AriesAngel86

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It is important... to you. Maybe she has other things going on, or she just isn't into wedding stuff. You chose her as Maid of Honor (hopefully) because of your relationship to her, not for what she can do to help with your wedding.

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Re: Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor

posted at 2/7/2012 2:17 PM EST on weddings.com

lewisc2002@hotm...

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i would make sure she is planning to make a speech - that would be awkward if she doesn't prepare that.

My sister was my MOH, but she had so much going on (pregnant with her second and working full-time) that my MIL actually helped me more. My sister was still honored to be my MOH and did everything perfectly the day of, but I didn't have a bachelorette party (we discussed and agreed on this beforehand so i wasn't disappointed) and not much else outside the wedding day. You just need to talk to her and reconcile your expectations with what she feels she can reasonably do.

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Re: Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor

posted at 2/7/2012 4:17 PM EST on theknot.com

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miss67c

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She doesnt understand "how important this is" b/c its not HER WEDDING. its yours. She owes you nothing other than to show up on time and be there for you when she is available. Asking someone to turn their life upside down to be at your every beck and call seem irrational. Like PP said, its your wedding. It would be pretty rude to just switch her out, but again-- this is your wedding. Just realize what you are asking for.

Mommyhood & ShoeLove Tales Blog

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Re: Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor

posted at 2/11/2012 4:33 PM EST on theknot.com

sinderella2000

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I experienced this with my wedding. My matron of Honor wanted to be in control of the WHOLE Bridal party, then towards the endjust wanted to say what all she did even though it was equal to everybody's contributions. Needless to say it was alot more that went on within the wedding and rather than me make a hasty decision that I would later make after the wedding, I just changed her dress color to let her know I knew what was going on and to let her know she would no longer be seperatly noticed as anyone special to mel. She caused alot of mess and gossip between the girls, questioned how I did things within the wedding, and did a lot of pouting. I did not understand what was going on. My sister was my Maid of Honor and I to agree with the earlier comment that a MOH is just that..a HONOR. So it is a guideline within that title to be helpful. You learn alot about people when you are planning a day so special in your life. My wedding planning was great and fun with my husband. My Bridal party is who drove me to kicking them all out the wedding. My advice is do what makes YOU stress free at the end of teh day and YES YOU CAN cancel anybody out the wedding or CHANGE titles if YOU want to.

2 Souls, 1 Heart

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Re: Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor

posted at 2/12/2012 5:28 PM EST on theknot.com

fordever

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Last: 3/31/2012

I would say to not change her out for someone else but just don't expect too much out of her. Don't even consider her doing anything on the day of your wedding other than maybe holding your bouquet & doing a toast....that's it!

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Re: Stuck between changing my Maid Of Honnor

posted at 2/18/2012 11:42 PM EST on theknot.com

Hannah098

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Last: 2/20/2012

I think that would be a friendship ending move...maybe the BM who is helping should ask the MOH to help her plan your bridal party, etc....that would get her a little more involved. The day of is really when the MOH and bridesmaids shine - I relied on them so much the day of. I agree that planning your wedding is up to you and your fiancee or parents, basically whoever is paying. MOH and BMs should only be relied on for an opinion.

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