Special Topic Wedding Boards
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We want a lesbian non-Christian officiant. Offensive or understandable?
Gay Weddings
We want a lesbian non-Christian officiant. Offensive or understandable?
Planning a same-sex wedding? Share ideas and get ideas here.
We are a heterosexual engaged couple who are looking for a lesbian non-Christian officiant. We just like the idea of going a non-traditional route and defying what we perceive as injustices in A
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Gay Weddings
We want a lesbian non-Christian officiant. Offensive or understandable?
Planning a same-sex wedding? Share ideas and get ideas here.
We are a heterosexual engaged couple who are looking for a lesbian non-Christian officiant. We just like the idea of going a non-traditional route and defying what we perceive as injustices in A
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Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:44
Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:44Discussion:48fe729d-e2a2-450c-9115-bea5a44d2294
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We want a lesbian non-Christian officiant. Offensive or understandable?
posted at 1/23/2012 10:42 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
01-02-2012
CINCINNATI 4356611189964810
Posts: 137
First: 1/13/2012
Last: 5/3/2012
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We are a heterosexual engaged couple who are looking for a lesbian non-Christian officiant.
We just like the idea of going a non-traditional route and defying what we perceive as injustices in American society. We figured we could hit the gender, religious, and sexual-preference birds with one stone by hiring a lesbian non-Christian to marry us.
Do you find this terribly offensive or understandable? Apparently I have stirred quite the pot on my local board by posting a topic about this, so I figured I'd go directly to the source.
Thanks in advance.
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Re: We want a lesbian non-Christian officiant. Offensive or understandable?
posted at 1/23/2012 11:33 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
06-06-2010 7537114507130506
Posts: 15
First: 1/17/2012
Last: 3/7/2012
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Umm... I would find it offensive. Your heart is in the right place, but think of it like this: you want a token minority to officiate your wedding rather than a specific person. It seems like you're screaming "Look at how inclusive and non-traditional we are, we even got a non-christian lesbian to officiate our wedding". It comes from a privileged perspective. If it helps, think of it as a race question. Would you consider getting a person of colour to officiate your wedding, for no other reason than that they're a person of colour, to show how not-racist you are? No, because that would in and of itself be racist because you're singling someone out based on their race. It's the same situation here.
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Re: We want a lesbian non-Christian officiant. Offensive or understandable?
posted at 1/23/2012 11:43 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
01-02-2012
CINCINNATI 4356611189964810
Posts: 137
First: 1/13/2012
Last: 5/3/2012
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Thanks for your input. I can see your point.
I guess the personal beliefs of who officiates is the most important thing to us rather than their sexual or religious preference, so maybe instead of picking someone who *is* a lesbian non-Christian, perhaps I can just pick someone who is *willing* to marry gay non-Christians...
That way I can feel more assured that I'm not being married by an anti-gay, anti-secular bigot. I couldn't be 100% sure they aren't anti-gay, & anti-secular, but at least I could be reasonably sure.
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Re: We want a lesbian non-Christian officiant. Offensive or understandable?
posted at 1/23/2012 11:45 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
06-06-2010 7537114507130506
Posts: 15
First: 1/17/2012
Last: 3/7/2012
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I think that would be a better way of approaching it. I can understand not wanting to be married by someone who is bigoted, but it's all in how you approach it.
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Re: We want a lesbian non-Christian officiant. Offensive or understandable?
posted at 1/24/2012 4:09 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
01-02-2012
NORTH CAROLINA 5434611011657832
Posts: 2
First: 1/2/2012
Last: 1/24/2012
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I have to agree with the previous posters. I DO truly appreciate you wanting to make a stand and share your beliefs and thoughts on the un-equality. However, I have an idea that will convey your feelings, strike up interesting conversations and go beyond the wedding day. Take a look at www.whiteknot.org. Esp. the stories section. Katie and Keith's wedding was very well done imo. These little white ribbon knots say so much and cost very little. Eveybody should have the right to "tie the knot". Congrats on yur upcoming nuptials and wish you two a lifetime of love and joy!
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Re: We want a lesbian non-Christian officiant. Offensive or understandable?
posted at 1/25/2012 12:38 AM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
01-02-2012
CINCINNATI 4356611189964810
Posts: 137
First: 1/13/2012
Last: 5/3/2012
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Thank you beachdreamin12 for that inspirational website and helpful advice. I didn't even know about that phenomenon. What a perfect way to show my support. I like how Katie wore a simple white ribbon around her wrist and I will probably do the same.
I've always been conflicted about being able to get married while so many are suffering the violation of their human rights. At least this way, I can show support and acknowlege to myself and others that I'm enjoying a basic right that others are deprived of.
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Re: We want a lesbian non-Christian officiant. Offensive or understandable?
posted at 1/25/2012 6:26 AM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
06-16-2011
IOWA 7388437948952104
Posts: 142
First: 6/16/2011
Last: 5/23/2012
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Yeah its a bit offensive. While your heart might be in the right place, having someone be your officant simply because she happens to be a lesbian is offensive. We want equality, not to be used as an object. If you happen to find an officiant that you like, and she happens to be a lesbian, hey more power to you!
Personally, hiring anyone just because of their SO is discriminitory.
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Re: We want a lesbian non-Christian officiant. Offensive or understandable?
posted at 2/20/2012 2:01 AM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
12-02-2011
ARKANSAS 9886584558747247
Posts: 91
First: 1/19/2012
Last: 5/14/2012
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We are being married by my FI's uncle bc we refuse to be married by a religious associated officiant as well. He's getting ordained online. This goes along with our extremely casual outdoor wedding though.
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Re: We want a lesbian non-Christian officiant. Offensive or understandable?
posted at 2/20/2012 2:47 AM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
10-13-2011
ORANGE COUNTY 8289541298534531
Posts: 6
First: 2/12/2012
Last: 2/20/2012
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I think you should ask any prospective officiate point blank if they support gay marriage equality. If they don't, they're jerks! Make your voice heard, loudly and unapologetically.
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Re: We want a lesbian non-Christian officiant. Offensive or understandable?
posted at 3/16/2012 2:54 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
01-16-2012
CINCINNATI 4084623545152858
Posts: 45
First: 1/20/2012
Last: 5/9/2012
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The thought is understandable but the action is offensive. Maybe you can go with vendors who support equality. Try the white ribbon thing too. I'm going to check it out just for the info. You can donate to a LGBT org instead of favors. There are so many options available to you.
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