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Adjusted to Military Life?!?! hehe

shan87shan87
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in Military Brides

I've been getting weird looks when I tell people I wont see FI until all of our Wedding Festivities... they keep telling me, but thats over 4 months away. Yeah ... so? Is usually my response.

I get even MORE weird looks and cause for concern when people realize FI and I wont been living together until 3 months AFTER the wedding.

I think the fact that I am 1. not really bothered by any of this and 2. actually excited to be moving within 4 hr drive of FI (instead of 11hrs) after the wedding means I have officially adjusted to life in the Miltary. haha

To Be Honest, we have been LD for the majority of our relationship and I am more concerned about adjusting to living with him then bothered by living apart. Nevertheless, I can't wait to actually start our lives together.

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Re: Adjusted to Military Life?!?! hehe

  • truegirl89truegirl89
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am going through the same thing. I am more worried about getting adjusted to living with him. It's a really weird feeling.

    If it doesn't bother you then don't worry. Some people just don't get it. Military life is really hard to understand. Keep your head up, and good luck on everything working out. :)
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  • kara811kara811 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm in the same boat of you as well! FI and I have always been LD throughout our relationship, so it will be very different once we actually start living together. Although we have a taste of it sometimes, when I would go over to Japan and stay for weeks at a time, or even a month or 2. 

    I agree with PP, some people just don't get it. We get the same questions as you. Things like, "how can you stand it, being so far apart, cus I wouldn't be able to." But after so many years, we really don't care and just brush off those comments! We can't wait to just start our lives together, which won't be for at least 7 months after since he'll go on deployment 2 months after the wedding! 

    Just  keep doing what you've been and don't let it ever bother you! 
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  • shan87shan87
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It doesn't bother me but it is getting old explaining whats going on. It will be nice to move and get settled in more of Military environment, where people understand the situation a lot more. I have a sinking feeling that right when we get settled he will get deployed but that is just something I'll have to deal with when the time comes! We have been very lucky thus far, and I know it can't keep up forever! ;)

    Good Luck to my Fellow Military Fiances and the wedding planning process. I have been planning this wedding for a year and I am ready for it to be here already!!
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  • kara811kara811 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_adjusted-military-life-hehe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:61fa4d3a-3d95-4115-a412-e7385f1fa95fPost:92a38f11-c1ee-4344-af3b-017a8fc936d2">Re: Adjusted to Military Life?!?! hehe</a>:
    [QUOTE]It doesn't bother me but it is getting old explaining whats going on. It will be nice to move and get settled in more of Military environment, where people understand the situation a lot more. I have a sinking feeling that right when we get settled he will get deployed but that is just something I'll have to deal with when the time comes! We have been very lucky thus far, and I know it can't keep up forever! ;) Good Luck to my <strong>Fellow Military Fiances and the wedding planning process. I have been planning this wedding for a year and I am ready for it to be here already!!</strong>
    Posted by shan87[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Same here! We're getting down to the wire, just 43 more days! We definitely can't wait. Our engagement has been too long! Good luck to you too! ;) </div>
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_adjusted-military-life-hehe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:61fa4d3a-3d95-4115-a412-e7385f1fa95fPost:92a38f11-c1ee-4344-af3b-017a8fc936d2">Re: Adjusted to Military Life?!?! hehe</a>:
    [QUOTE]It doesn't bother me but it is getting old explaining whats going on. It will be nice to move and get settled in more of Military environment, where people understand the situation a lot more.<strong> I have a sinking feeling that right when we get settled he will get deployed but that is just something I'll have to deal with when the time comes</strong>! We have been very lucky thus far, and I know it can't keep up forever! ;) Good Luck to my Fellow Military Fiances and the wedding planning process. I have been planning this wedding for a year and I am ready for it to be here already!!
    Posted by shan87[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yep, that's exactly how it happened for us.  We were a LDR up until we got married, but luckily it was just over a 2 hour drive so we got to see each other every weekend. We lived together for a month and a half after the wedding before our PCS across the country. Then we were here just shy of 2 months, got all settled in and adjusted to our new life, and then he was deployed.  </div><div>
    </div><div>People who are non military really don't get it.  But TBH being a LDR is making this deployment so much easier.  You are already used to being apart for extended periods, and clearly are independent enough to survive deployments, and that is huge.  There are so many wives that can't deal with it, and just complain how lonely it is.  </div><div>
    </div><div>Just tell these people you are getting lots of practice being alone for when he is deployed.   </div>
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  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm trying to get used to it, but as we live together and he's a full time law student for the next year and a half, I don't have to deal with those things so much.  To be honest, even after he's active duty, he'll probably only deploy a handful of times.

    However, we just found out that he'll be gone all summer for his internship with a Marine JAG Officer in Parris Island.  It's great for him to get a chance to see what it's like, and to integrate a bit more into the military lifestyle (he went straight from OCS to law school, so he had a bit of cultural whiplash).  I'm a little sad that I won't see him for 3 whole months, but I'll be busy with work at that time and probably starting to plan our wedding (!!!).  Last year when he first planned to do this, I got rather sad and down in the dumps for a few days.  Now that I've lived here a year and have a great network of friends, I'm not worried at all.  I'll miss him for sure, but as I told my Mom, if I can't handle this with a smile on my face, I have no business considering becoming a military spouse.

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  • SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Isn't it funny how people react to LDR and LDM? I was telling someone the other day how I'm a vegetarian but that my hubby eats meat and they were like.. how does that work? and I said.. He's in Japan, it works out pretty well. Haha. We are actually waiting for some news. I'm officially a civilian again this friday and hubby is *hopefully* getting his orders changed from 24 months to 18 months, which would have us going to his next duty station as early as August!!! That or here in the near future I'll be moving to Japan. Hubby is going on det for like 2 months and I'm pretty bummed out about it.  Oh Well!! Maybe I'll get a dog and cheer myself up! ;)
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  • shan87shan87
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    SamiJoe- When I moved into an apartment by myself the first thing I did was purchased my dog. She is an awesome companion and better than any roommate :) however, if you are going to Japan then I would wait ;)
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