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Re: HELP need advice
posted at 2/2/2012 10:01 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
12-19-2005
NORTH CAROLINA 210124875002240
Posts: 12573
First: 7/20/2009
Last: 5/24/2012
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My fiance and i have been together for 2.5 years and i met the mom early in our relationship. She never really gave me any discomfort at first but after we got engaged after dating a little over a year i started noticing her act wierd. It started with her just coming up behind Nic when he was sitting at the dinner table chatting and she would out her arms around him and turn to me and glare at me . She would continue to do this and still does. Ignore that. It's up to him to stop it if it bothers him. Why should it bother you? You're marrying him. You won. Then when it was time to start planning the wedding she wouldnt act interested at all. She isn't required to be. She would get up or interupt me while im asking her a question or showing her some ideas i had. So stop sharing your plans with her. She was always comparing me to her youngest son's girl whom had recently broken up due to the fact that the girl had cheated on him. The mom still loves her to death.You have more of a fiance problem here than a FMIL problem. Why doesn't he say something to her I understand that they were close but the youngest son had only been up state for 2 months, traveled up there with everyone to watch him graduate from training, had us take her home (3 hour car ride) and then went back up the next day with her mom on a train that my fiances parents paid for. After she returned home the second time she told him that she had cheated weeks ago.....
It didnt bother me until she started threatening me and telling me i better never cheat on Nic and that it was a horrible thing to do. (then i got angry) Again, why isn't he telling her that he can take care of himself, and to shut up? Nic had previously traveled to Virginia for SEVEN MONTHS and i saw him once. the entire time he was gone i took care of the house and dogs. She would come over unannounced, stay as long as she liked, GO THRU HIS MAIL when he had told her not to. finally we started locking it in the office. He needs to change his locks.
i dont understand how she can be okay with Nic's brothers girl cheating when she will still threaten me. recently the couple got back together and again while discussing the wedding she interupts me and with a huge smile informs me that they are back together and that the girlfriend is planning on moving to california to be with him.
Now since ive informed you a little bit about my situation here is my question..
She had asked earlier if she was invited to the bachelorette party and since my mom is inivited i said yes. Soon after that she began to put me down and even had Nic yelling at her to stand up for me because she was being so rude.
Can i and how can i tell her she is no longer invited. I wanted to be polite and kind and invite her but my mom and m.o.h. keeps telling me that i shouldnt be miserable at my own bachelorette party.
what should i do???
You will be dealing with this woman for the rest of her life. Either minimize contact with her or find a way to work with her. I'd just minimize contact with her.
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"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."