In light of my Special-ness

**Mutley** · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?

How long was it between meeting and first date?

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)

How long between exclusivity and engagement?

How long between engagement and marriage?

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?

sapphirebaby926 · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?
We originally met when we were both sophmores in college but we never talked - he says he was too scared to talk to me back then. After that we met up again in 2006 during a mutual friend's birthday

How long was it between meeting and first date?
About a month after we met up again we had our first date - which was crashed by all our friends because they were hungry too.

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?
A couple weeks - it would be long distance and it took us both awhile to decide if we were up for it

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)
2 1/2 years

How long between exclusivity and engagement?
2/12 years

How long between engagement and marriage?
5 months and 7 days

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)
Probably about a year - we might (big might) start trying in the next few months

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?
I think to a certain degree it does - if we had started dating the first time we met I'm not so sure we would have lasted. We were both very different people back then

Button5807 · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?
I started a new job and he already worked there

How long was it between meeting and first date?
Almost three years

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?
It was pretty instant, by the time we actually went on a "date" we'd been secretely swooning over each other for a while.

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)
I moved in about 2 months in because life happened and I didn't have too many other options.

How long between exclusivity and engagement?
n/a

How long between engagement and marriage?
n/a

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)
n/a

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines?
Yes

Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?
Absolutely. If we'd started dating when we first met it would have been a disaster. Waiting three years gave us time to grow up a bit more and figure out what we wanted from our lives.

oceana919 · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?
He came to my masters thesis defense. He was the only person there that I didn't know. Our friend (and now officiant) invited him to come out with us afterwards, where we were formally introduced.

How long was it between meeting and first date?
He asked me on a date on July 4, about a month after we first met.

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?
Um, about 24 hours. No joke. We kinda just knew. But apparently I belong to the same "special" club that Mutley and her guy do.

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)
About six months. I was at his place all the time, so it didn't make sense for me to keep renting an apartment I was never in. We were also to a point where we knew we wanted to get married someday down the road, so we wanted to make sure we would be able to live together without killing one another before we made that commitment.

How long between exclusivity and engagement?
About 1.5 years.

How long between engagement and marriage?
A year and four months.

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)
It honestly depends on how quickly I can finish my Ph.D. and get situated in a job. We're hoping about 1.5-2 years after we get married.

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?
To some degree, yes. I'm in my late 20s, he's in his early 30s, and we had both been through enough life experiences and other relationships to know what we wanted and to know that our relationship was it.

Moreso than age, we went through a lot of difficult experiences in the first year of our relationship - deaths in the family, the process of getting accepted into my Ph.D. program, major health issues on my part - that forced our relationship to develop and deepen a lot quicker than most would. We kind of had the "in sickness in health, in good times and bad" thrown at us early on, which only reinforced in us the fact that we want to be committed to one another for a lifetime.

PaigeMcC · July 2010

How did you meet your SO? We met on MSN! We're so cool...

How long was it between meeting and first date? About 3 months. We wanted to get to know each other.

How long was it between first date and exclusivity? About a week..lol

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable) 2 years.

How long between exclusivity and engagement? Almost 4 years to the day! (Happy anniversary;) )

How long between engagement and marriage? 15 months.

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline) We're hoping marriage in Sept 2011, House sometime late 2012/early 2013, incubating a spawn by 2014

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship? I do think age made a difference. I was only 20 when we met, FI was 23. I wasn't ready to rush into anything b/c I was young. I wanted to finish my degrees, get some life experience and enjoy our time together. He was a little more ready to settle but still wanted to finish his schooling and get his life together.

I think if we had met a few years later we may have moved quicker - but since we were younger we wanted to wait and experience life before we made the decision to settle down.

Age can be a factor - but I think the huge factor is maturity. 20 something does not always equal maturity.

KD+BC · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?
We met at a party that I went to with his brother who was my friend in high school. We may or may not have made out that night (FI and I, not his brother and I).

How long was it between meeting and first date?
We met on Monday and had our first date on Friday.

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?
First date Friday, official exclusivity Tuesday.

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)
3 years.

How long between exclusivity and engagement?
A year an a half.

How long between engagement and marriage?
10 months.

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)
Not long. I'm going off the pill after my gyno appointment next month and I'm already taking pre-natals and we're reading up on healthy baby making

. The plan is to get married in October then start trying in November. You girls are the only ones who know this though. We aren't telling our families because we think we'll feel less pressure if no one knows about it.

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?
Age and life goals affected us. When we met I was 20 and he was 23. I was still in college and had plans to go to grad school. We moved in together as I was finishing my last semester of grad school. It took me another full year to get a teaching position and I didn't want to get married until my career was in place. We'll be 26 and 28 when we get married in October.

Narwhal · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?
We went to high school together and then eventually college too, but he's older than me and we didn't "get together" until college. We technically went to elementary school together (a different school than what feeds into the HS we went to). Oh, and he lived three houses down from my grandma's house where I spent a lot of time before we were in school.

How long was it between meeting and first date?
I'm guessing that it's probably close to 3 years if you don't count the elementary school thing, but I didn't actually do any math. I dated literally all of his friends in high school. It just took me a little while to get to him.

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?
I would guess it was probably like.. 6 months. We went on a lot of dates and "hanging out"s before we became exclusive.

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)
N/A

How long between exclusivity and engagement?
Going on 3 years.

How long between engagement and marriage?
If everything goes as planned, about a year and a half. I want to finish school first.

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)
Right now the idea is to be married for 3-4 years before we start the babymaking, but who knows how that's really going to turn out. Hopefully it will be at least two, since I'm going to be in grad school after we get married. I would very much like to be able to get some footing in my job before I have to go on maternity leave for 3+ years.

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?
Definitely. We've had a pretty extended relationship, I think. If we met/became a couple when we were older (like, started now) then we defintely would be moving faster. But I'm happy it worked out the way it did. We both got to experience a lot of things both together, seperately, and together but seperate.

MissOnnaleese · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?
Church when we were both very young. [under 5]

How long was it between meeting and first date?
Probably over ten years

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?
A little less than a month

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)
A year and a half

How long between exclusivity and engagement?
Not engaged yet. So at least 3 1/2 years

How long between engagement and marriage?
-

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)
As of right now neither of us want children. We don't see ourselves changing our mind on that, but it can always happen.

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?

Yes, if we had started dating at 22/23 it'd be more likely that we would already be engaged/married. But we started dating in highschool and after three years we're just not at the right time in our lives to take that step.

leia1979 · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?
In bowling league. We were on teams made up of our respective coworkers in a league of teams from different companies.

How long was it between meeting and first date?
About a month and a half. We tried to "hang out" one time earlier and it was disastrous. He asked me out, and I politely turned him down. Then one night after league we were talking and laughing until about midnight. After that, things started heading in the right direction.

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?
Ten days.

How long between exclusivity and moving in together?
Nine months.

How long between exclusivity and engagement?
Hasn't happened yet, but our talks indicate two to two and a half years.

How long between engagement and marriage?
N/A

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING?
Eternity. No kids for us, thanks.

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?
Yes. We're both 30, and we've gained experience (and baggage) from previous relationships. I also know had we met at 20, we would never have hung out. He was a partier and I was a square. We've grown up and become established in our respective careers. I also think that being older has given us time to figure out what we want in life. However, it also comes down to being with the right person.

GreenPepperBurger · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?
I was a sophomore in HS. He liked my friend, and he happened to tag along with us when we went to the movies. We sat next to each other and had a blast. I was only interested in him as a friend at the beginning, though.

How long was it between meeting and first date?
We didn't have an official first date. I took him to one of my best friend's birthday parties because I was going to be the only non-Russian person there. He had been persuing me for months, so I decided to give him a chance. I introduced him as my boyfriend, and that was it. But between meeting for the first time, I'd say about 2.5 months.

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?
That day, seriously.

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)
N/A

How long between exclusivity and engagement?
N/A

How long between engagement and marriage?
N/A. But depending on our tentative timeline, I'd say we'd be engaged for about a year and a half to two years.

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)
I definitely want to buy a house before we have a baby. So I'm not sure where I stand on this one.

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?
Definitely. We met as teenagers, so we certainly weren't talking getting engaged until very recently. And also, being together as teenagers is just an incubator for drama. We broke up for a few days here and there over stupid petty nonsense, and me not being sure if I wanted to date other people. Thankfully, we're over that now, but had we met at a later age there probably would not have been that insecurity.

Narwhal · July 2010

Oh and here's something funny about anniversaries.

Neither of us remember the day we met.
Neither of us remember the day we had our first date.
We still argue about the day that we became exclusive (it's a by the minute thing, we're not like months away from each other)

But both of us can tell you the date of when we first started doin' it.

Hahahahahahaha

**Mutley** · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?
See - Bio

Just kidding. I am being sentimental, so I will C&P.

It was one of my girlfriend's birthday. Her sister threw her a beach bonfire party. I had had a very sh!tty week, but I went anyways. What better than a bonfire, some wine and s'mores? I didn't really know anyone there, but mingled amongst the group. One guy caught my eye, but I was not in the mood for flirting. He offered me his chair, but neglected to tell me it was wet. I didn't fall for the trick and put a blanket down to keep my butt dry. He kept talking to me. I kept replying sarcastically. He kept chipping away. Two hours later with my armor broken down, it was time to go. I went to give him a handshake, he laughed at me and gave me a big hug. Then he drove away.
I was thinking to myself "WTF! and figured I read the whole situation all wrong." Yet, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

How long was it between meeting and first date?
About 6 weeks

Fast forward over a month, and said friend's sister texted me to ask if she can give the hott guy my number. (After thinking that we would all hang out again soon, he got impatient. He convinced his roommate to go out to eat at my friend's sister's restaurant to ask her for my phone number.) I told her sure why not. She said that was good, because she has already given it to him. A couple days later, I get a voicemail - "Hi, this is A, that guy you met at the bonfire that was too stupid to ask for your phone number. I hope you remember me. Anyways, I think we should go out some time, at least I hope." We met up the next day but it wasn't quite a date. He invited me to a friend's party. I proceeded to be very klassy and call his best friend a p*ssy for not taking a shot. This led to his best friend driving my car to A's house.
Due to my work plans and his travel plans, we didn't actually go on a date for almost 2 weeks. However, we talked on the phone every night that we were able.

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?
He introduced me as his girlfriend 2 days later, while at several 4th of July festivities. It was the first time I didn't completely freak out when a guy did that. It just seemed right.

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)
Unofficially - I temporarily stayed at his place a couple of weeks after our 1st date due to 'life.' Then, I moved elsewhere for about 2 months. We got our own place together about 4 months into dating.

How long between exclusivity and engagement?
10 months... (12 months from the time we met)

How long between engagement and marriage?
6 months and 6 days

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)
I was knocked up 2 months after our wedding and will be giving birth about 1 month before our 1st anniversary.

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?
I think that age made a huge difference, as well as the circumstances at the time. Our first couple of months together were really tough, but our relationship was amazing. Life was pretty craptastic for me, and yet, we just kept on going. He was more supportive than I ever thought someone could be, and I trusted him to be there. (And I do NOT trust people. Shocking, I know.)

I think that the younger a couple meets the longer they should be together prior to engagement/marriage. I think it has more to do with individual maturity than the actual relationship.

P.S. Oceana, I've always heard that you should be with someone through all seasons - and the seasons are referring to the highs and lows. I know EXACTLY what you are talking about the deepening due to life's events. We also experienced a couple of deaths, job loss, health issues, etc. Yet, I couldn't have been 'happier' through all of it. We figure all of our highs in the last year are helping out with those tough spots early on.

katanne9 · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?
We met in college.

How long was it between meeting and first date?
Hmmm, 2 weeks?

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?
Almost immediately

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)
N/A - aka the entire time of our unmarried relationship.

How long between exclusivity and engagement?
3.5 years

How long between engagement and marriage?
8 months

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)
app 3 years. When FI is done with grad school and CFA.

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?
Absolutely. If we were older we would have probably gotten married 2 years ago (2 years into our relationship).

oceana919 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_light-of-special-ness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9a280074-a9ba-4bc5-ab4e-e9d04086ca8bPost:b54d9e4b-fafb-471c-82c2-f7e740e93066">Re: In light of my Special-ness</a>:
[QUOTE] P.S. Oceana, I've always heard that you should be with someone through all seasons - and the seasons are referring to the highs and lows. I know EXACTLY what you are talking about the deepening due to life's events. We also experienced a couple of deaths, job loss, health issues, etc. Yet, I couldn't have been 'happier' through all of it. We figure all of our highs in the last year are helping out with those tough spots early on.
Posted by **Mutley**[/QUOTE]

I can honestly say with absolutely no melodrama that the last two years have been the absolute worst years of my life. And I can honestly say without hesitation that meeting and falling in love with my FI has been the best thing that could have possibly happened to me. I honestly don't know if I would have made it through the last two years without him. Going through what we have so early on in our relationship has left me with zero doubts or reservations about whether or not we are prepared to deal with the ups and downs that life is going to deal us.

aperitisa · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?

eHarmony

How long was it between meeting and first date?

We were paired on February 8, 2008, started talking on February 12, 2008, Talked on the phone a week later, Met in person/had our first date on March 17, 2008.

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?

We officially became exclusive on the fourth of July 2008. (Year for our anniversary this weekend!)

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)

We moved in together in December of 2009, so about a year and a half?

How long between exclusivity and engagement?

Just under three years.

How long between engagement and marriage?

Ten months!

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)

I'm hoping for at least 4-5 years.

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?

Definitely. He is a couple of years older than me and was sick of dating people just to date. We discussed from the very beginning that if we were going to be together, it was for the long haul.

**Mutley** · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_light-of-special-ness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9a280074-a9ba-4bc5-ab4e-e9d04086ca8bPost:2d65a151-198b-4ec3-bd1f-bf2be75210f7">Re: In light of my Special-ness</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: In light of my Special-ness : I can honestly say with absolutely no melodrama that the last two years have been the absolute worst years of my life. And I can honestly say without hesitation that meeting and falling in love with my FI has been the best thing that could have possibly happened to me. I honestly don't know if I would have made it through the last two years without him. <strong>Going through what we have so early on in our relationship has left me with zero doubts or reservations about whether or not we are prepared to deal with the ups and downs that life is going to deal us.</strong>
Posted by oceana919[/QUOTE]

<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/8/4/c87544ba-e4be-4855-94df-a01d1abc6e26.large.gif" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'c87544ba-e4be-4855-94df-a01d1abc6e26', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/8/4/c87544ba-e4be-4855-94df-a01d1abc6e26.medium.gif" alt="" /></a>

I will also say that due to all of life's events we had to be true to ourselves. He knows me better than I know myself many days. And I trust him more than I have ever trusted anybody in my entire life, including lifelong friends. I know who he is and who he is going to be in ANY situation.

ETA: I also know that when everything around us is crap, we face it together instead of letting it tear us apart. Due to having to learn how to communicate about very difficult subjects early on, nothing daunts us. We may not always agree, but we know how to listen to one another and come to a resolution.

Narwhal · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_light-of-special-ness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9a280074-a9ba-4bc5-ab4e-e9d04086ca8bPost:b54d9e4b-fafb-471c-82c2-f7e740e93066">Re: In light of my Special-ness</a>:
[QUOTE]P.S. Oceana, I've always heard that you should be with someone through all seasons - and the seasons are referring to the highs and lows. I know EXACTLY what you are talking about the deepening due to life's events. We also experienced a couple of deaths, job loss, health issues, etc. Yet, I couldn't have been 'happier' through all of it. We figure all of our highs in the last year are helping out with those tough spots early on.
Posted by **Mutley**[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. The past year has been really rough on all kinds of levels with Isaac and I. It forced us to rely on each other and really communicate. I think without those "seasons" we probably wouldn't be as emotionally prepared to make a lifelong commitment as we are now (now if just everything else would get on track, we'd be great. ;) ).

aperitisa · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_light-of-special-ness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9a280074-a9ba-4bc5-ab4e-e9d04086ca8bPost:a07601a1-f451-4925-ae81-cc21717daaf3">Re: In light of my Special-ness</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh and here's something funny about anniversaries. Neither of us remember the day we met. Neither of us remember the day we had our first date. We still argue about the day that we became exclusive (it's a by the minute thing, we're not like months away from each other) But both of us can tell you the date of when we first started doin' it. Hahahahahahaha
Posted by Narwhal[/QUOTE]

<div>BAH hahaha!</div>

LizzyTish88 · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?
We met in High School through mutual friends.

How long was it between meeting and first date?
About 2 months.

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?
About a week or two.

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)
Well we're working on it right now so it will have been at least 8 years.

How long between exclusivity and engagement?

How long between engagement and marriage?

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)
Well I can't tell you for sure, but as long as we are financially stable and have the room then we will get to the baby making.

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?
Yes. We met very young and have done a substantial amount of growing since then. We broke up for a while and dated other people, but couldn't stand to be apart. We have been through the "seasons" as many of you ladies have referred to them. We aren't rushing marriage because we are still young and want to enjoy life right now. We just simply aren't ready to be married.

Acrosthec · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?
My friend's band was playing a show in a bar, and my friend was friends with his [then] GF. My friend knew we were both at the same law school, so he introduced us and we were friends immediately.

How long was it between meeting and first date?
FI broke up with his [then] GF about 2 months after meeting me...just long enough for me to start seeing someone else. We remained friends though, and I never could shake the feeling that I was with the wrong guy, but the guy I was dating wanted me to give him a year just to make sure (we had multiple conversations about how I wasn't happy, which ended with him begging me to keep trying to make it work). One morning I woke up and rolled over and broke up with my then BF, and FI took me out that night. So...a year and 2 months just about.

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?
About five months. He didn't want to start an exclusive relationship while he was studying for the bar exam. He said he wouldn't feel right because he couldn't devote time and energy to helping the relationship grow and feel like he was giving his all to the test. We started dating exclusively the night he came home from taking the bar exam, even though we been seeing each other "exclusively" since our first date (as in, we didn't see anyone else, but we weren't an official item).

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)
A year. I moved in with him the day after I finished the bar exam.

How long between exclusivity and engagement?
2 years and 2 months.

How long between engagement and marriage?
9 months and some change.

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)
We plan on TTC shortly after the wedding. As in, we're getting married in August, and I would like to be pregnant by October at the latest, preferably a HM baby.

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?
Yes. We still dated for a while longer than most our age, but if we'd met in undergrad it would've been even longer, because neither of us wanted to get married until we were done with school and had jobs, etc., and we both knew we wanted law school which is three years all by itself. Age definitely plays a part in our TTC timeline. We really wanted to start with the birthing children before I turned 30, and I turn 29 in October, so...need to get a move on it.

loopy82 · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?
HaHaHa..... on Myspace (and we were 24 & 27). The night before I had broken up with a bf I had for about a month and had just changed my status back to single. The next day apparently he was perusing the women in his area and since I happened to be online my profile was one of the first to show up. He said what drew him in was the profile pic I had. (I was wearing crazy large sunglasses.) He sent me a messge and we wrote back and forth. Came to find out he worked with a friend of mine. Crazy.

How long was it between meeting and first date?
About a week.

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?
About a month I believe.

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)
A year and 3 months.

How long between exclusivity and engagement?
3 years 1 month

How long between engagement and marriage?
9 months and just shy of 4 weeks.

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)
???? Paul says that it is 1) I have to find a better job -(this has a lot to do with my always complaining about my job and about making peanuts -or so it feels.) 2) Move into a bigger house. 3) Get a job. 4) Have babies.
Who knows how this will all play out. I recently went off BC because I felt like it was messing with me too much, and he really doens't want me to go back on it.... we'll see what happens.

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?

I thought we would have gotten married by now, because early on in our relationship Paul had said he always thought (maybe hoped?) he'd be married with children by the time he was 30. He was 27 when we met, and is now 31. I was not looking for a serious relationship when we met. I was still very much into having fun with my friends and stuck in the mind set of not wanting anything serious. Once it started getting serious I was ok without, because I felt like I had done what I needed to do to be in a serious relationship again.

Age may very well play into timelines. I was in a 2 year relationship from when I was 18-20 and ended it because I felt like I needed to go out and experience life. When I was 21-24 I was having a lot (maybe too much) fun living the single life and partying with my friends. I really had no desire at all to be in a serious relationship. I had a few bf's during this time but nothing lasted longer than a few months. I am really glad that I was single for awhile, lived my own life and din't worry about a relationship. Those were seriously some of the most care free years of my life. Lived in a combination of frat house/almost Real World type living situation. I'm very glad I did it. It was a lot of fun. Could I do it now? Probably not. I'm too old to be living like that.

jeanacorina · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?

We met in an online video game. And if that wasn't enough, we were roleplaying at the time, and didn't speak out of character for a few months.

How long was it between meeting and first date?

Well, we met online on June 30, 2004 (yep, 6 years ago yesterday!) and met in-person in November, 2005. Which, I guess was our first date. So.... I don't really know how to answer this question. Somewhere in-between there we'd already fallen in love over the internets and had many "dates" in-game slaying monsters and exploring enchanted forests. We even got married in-game two months after we met (well, our characters did).

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?

See above about "first date" definition. While we were online we were pretty exclusive, except the part where I told him I loved him and he said "thanks" and I waited for a few months for him to say he loved me, and he didn't. So I went to jump back in the dating pool (very reluctantly) and he got upset and said "DON'T YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU!" and I was like "Oh, okay! I won't date anyone else!" So there we go. We were totally exclusive even before we met in-person.

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)

I moved in with him just shy of 3 years after we met in person. We each made one trip to visit the other before we decided to just go for it and move in together.

How long between exclusivity and engagement?

He proposed over five years after we met online... which was about 4 years since we met in-person.

How long between engagement and marriage?

9 months (no, no "pressing" reason)

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)

No buns in the oven yet! We don't really have a timeline. It'll happen when it happens. Probably somewhere around a year and a half/two years from now. But it could happen sooner. You know.

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?

Ugh, so complicated! Age didn't make a difference to me. I don't think it made a difference to DH, either. It was more about life experience, and he wanted to be in a certain place in life as far as finances and career before we got married. I would have married him within a year after I moved here. I actually thought he'd propose around then.

Anyway, he didn't because he wasn't ready to get married. He knew he wanted to marry ME, he just didn't feel comfortable doing it YET. I can totally respect that (even though it was a pain in the butt to wait).

I don't think age as a number has a whole lot to do with things. I do think you should be legally of age to drink at your own wedding (I don't see ANY reason to get married before the age of 21), but after that I think there are always exceptions. In my mind, you normally don't have anything to lose by waiting and you DO have a lot to gain by doing so. I am glad DH waited. I might have been ready to jump into marriage, but waiting made our relationship stronger and allowed us to form a more mature view of our wedding and the world and how things affect us as a couple.

noelle24 · July 2010

In Response to In light of my Special-ness:
How did you meet your SO?
Freshman year of college. He lived down the hall from me.

How long was it between meeting and first date?
Hmm... 10 months. We were friends first. Actually the first time he asked me out, I shot him down because I wanted to be just friends. We kept chatting online though, and I decided this guy wasn't so bad afterall, why not go on a date or two?

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?
Pretty much right away, but neither of us were the type to date multiple people at a time. I can't juggle that well.

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)
Too long. It will be over 8 years and 2 months before I finally move in with him. We would have moved in together much sooner, but we've been LD for grad school for the last 5 years.

How long between exclusivity and engagement?

About 7 years. I'm too lazy to do the exact math right now.

How long between engagement and marriage?
About a year and half.

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)
At least 3 years. Maybe 5. We've been long-distance for so long, that we both want to have plenty of time for us to just be a couple... together, in the same place for an extended period of time. Also, we'll be a little unsettled career-wise for about 5 years, and that's not the best for having kids. My mom went through menopause young though, so I don't want to wait too long past 30 to start trying. We'll see how our lives play out in next 3 years though.

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?
Absolutely. If we were just meeting NOW, there's no way our relationship would take 8.5 years from dating to marriage. But we met so young, and with the long-distance grad school thing, waiting made sense. To rush any faster than this would be asinine.

chirpchirp · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?
We were friends throughout high school.

How long was it between meeting and first date?
A couple of years. I never really saw him as a boyfriend- I saw him as the guy in my group of friends that always made me laugh and was fun to be around but wasn't like "ZOMG he looks like (insert relevant hot male celebrity)". I was 16 when we started spending a lot of time together and right before my 17th birthday we went on our first "date".

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?
Immediately. Again, I was in high school and in high school you're automatically "boyfriend/girlfriend" if you look at someone too long. Or at least it was like that in my HS.

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)
6 Years. We finally moved in together this fall, after we both went to separate colleges, lived on our own for a bit, and realized what we both wanted in life.

How long between exclusivity and engagement?
It'll probably be 8 years before we're engaged- so another year from now. That's just a realistic estimate. I'd like it to be more like now but he's not quite there yet.

How long between engagement and marriage?
We'll figure that out when we get there.

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?
Absolutely. We certainly could have gone the route of other couples that met in HS and went to the same college so we could be around each other and make sure the other was staying faithful. However, we both knew it was important that neither of us compromise our plans at that point, especially on something as important as where we were going to school so we trusted each other and had a LDR for 5 years. It was worth it but it definitely added some years to the timeline. In my opinion, it's all just part of the ride.

ekathleen684 · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?
We went to the same school since he was in 8th grade but never actually talked until his 10th grade year. Two days before I changed to a public school he made a coaster out of paper for me. After seeing his coaster, I should have ran, LOL. I was changing schools because my main friends graduated and didn't really talk to anyone anymore. I was bummed he talked to me right before I left but 6 weeks later I was back. I couldn't handle public school, LOL

How long was it between meeting and first date?
He made the coaster in September and we started dating late April

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?
Little over a month. Like Narwhal- we argue about the actual date. I say it's June 8th therefore thats the day we celebrate. Reminder:
Put wedding date ALL OVER wedding stuff so we don't forget that date too.

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable) n/a but probably in the next 6 months or so we'll be buying a house.

How long between exclusivity and engagement?
He proposed on our 6th anniversary.

How long between engagement and marriage?
Depending on the job situarion, a little less than a year- 18 months

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)
6 months...JUST KIDDING!
Ideally, I'd like to be married for at least a year before we bring our spawn into the world.

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?
OH YEA- If we hadn't met in high school, I don't think we would have went 7 years between dating and getting married.

dwest2201 · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?

We met when we were juniors in high school and found out that we lived only about a dozen houses from each other for 15 years prior. He told me my mom was hot and he liked watching her work in the yard... haha. I ended up dating one of his best friends(at the time) for 2 years.

How long was it between meeting and first date?

About 9 years. We met in 1999 and had our first "date" in 2008.

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?

We were hanging out as strictly friends for a while and eventually it became obvious that we were into each other, only problem was that my dissolution was not done so I was technically married although separated from ex for nearly a year at the time. He asked me if I would date him and I said I think that I would love to date you one day when I'm able to and we left it at that for a while. Time went on and we spent a lot of time together and eventually starting doing things that "just friends" don't do... it was obvious that we were more than friends and everyone else knew it because the attraction was strong and we couldn't hide it even when we were trying to. We decided that even though I was waiting for my ex and the court to officially have my marriage dissolved we were together a little over a month after our first date.

EDIT: We were exclusively "hanging out with each other" before we were admitting to be official. He was talking to/hanging out with a girl that he dropped like a bad habit as soon as we started hanging out. I even told him he could have other friends that were girls and he said, no I'm good right here.

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)

A year and a half.

How long between exclusivity and engagement?

N/A, he says he's "working on it"... we would already be engaged if he hadn't pretty much depleted his savings to pay for EMT and the fire academy, but I would rather wait and have him have a job that he enjoys than one he despises because he needs that and I'm not going anywhere regardless of our relationship status.

How long between engagement and marriage?

We've loosely discussed a 6-9 month engagement when talking about marriage, when we actually get engaged we will have a real timeline discussion.

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)

He has said a honeymoon baby many times and we've discussed waiting a little while... we will not wait more than a year unless something unplanned (job loss, illness, etc) comes up as we would like to have a couple more and don't want to wait too long! He encouraged me to keep anything that I still had from when my son was small that I thought we would use again as long as it didn't take up too much room in the garage.

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?

To some extent yes, but life experiences more so.

When we first started dating I wiser in relationships and life as I had been through a lot of recent rough times... including my mother being ill and eventually passing away, my son being born and then my marriage falling apart. Jon was by no means immature as a person but he had not had any long term serious relationships and had not dealt with the death of a close relative so he didn't understand my pain, he also had not been married and did not have a child. My son was 1.5 years old when we started dating.

It took him a little while to adjust to the things that came with me and in the beginning he wasn't as supportive as I wished he would have been. He was very concerned with getting the dissolution over with quickly and I was more concerned with taking the time to sit with my ex and talk/argue to find out what was best for our son because that was the most important thing. After a few months he was better able to understand that a quick fix divorce with court decided details that leaves the parents unhappy is not in the best interest for B. He came around and was very supportive and has been since. He had a lot of quilt in the beginning about dating someone who was still technically married (his family is very Catholic and while they loved me they made it clear to him they thought that we should be nothing but friends until the marriage was dissolved).

I have wondered what would have happened if I would have dated Jon instead of his friend in high-school, but I believe that everything happens for a reason. If I would have dated Jon then we probably would have ended up breaking up, few h.s. relationships make it and we are both completely different people than we were then. Also, if I hadn't met and married my ex I wouldn't have my son and he is the light of my life!

Ana_2985 · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?
We met at field camp, which was a six week summer class/camp at the end of our senior years of undergrad.

How long was it between meeting and first date?
I'm not sure. But it only took me three days after I met him to decide I wanted to be with him, break-up with my BF at the time, and start "dating" FI.

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?
Immediately. Neither of us dated anyone else after we met.

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)
I moved in with him after we'd been dating LD for about 2.5 years. If we lived near each other, I might not have moved in with him though.

How long between exclusivity and engagement?
Also about 2.5 years.

How long between engagement and marriage?
Maybe 16 or 17 months I think.

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)
TBD. Maybe a year or two.

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?
For FI and I, it was very much a case of being in the right place at the right time. We both had been through certain (but different) experiences that made us ready for a relationship with each other. More so for me than him. I was at a very low place in my life when I met FI and meeting him has changed my life in more ways than he will ever understand. I really truly believe that God played a part in that (sorry, I'm religious). But who knows? Maybe if we had met each other when we were 18

oceana919 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_light-of-special-ness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9a280074-a9ba-4bc5-ab4e-e9d04086ca8bPost:59b10aa0-8563-474b-bc5c-07b6c8387df2">Re: In light of my Special-ness</a>:
[QUOTE]I was at a very low place in my life when I met FI and meeting him has changed my life in more ways than he will ever understand. <strong>I really truly believe that God played a part in that (sorry, I'm religious).</strong> But who knows? Maybe if we had met each other when we were 18
Posted by Ana_2985[/QUOTE]

Nothing wrong with that. I have no doubt that the Big Guy Upstairs and my grandmother were pulling some strings to bring FI and I together.

jemmini6 · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?
....at a bar. it's funny because i always went out with a huge group of friends (a lot of guys too) so i had zero intention of ever flirting, getting a number, etc. one night i separated from my friends to squeeze into the bar for a drink and ended up next to my bf. his pick up line? "you're short". that wouldn't have worked on me with anyone but him. i guess i must have known he was something special

How long was it between meeting and first date?
we met on 11/21/08 and had our first date 11/22/08. LOL

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?
pretty much immediate. we literally spent almost every day together since (or talked on the phone), but we didn't "officially" classify the bf/gf thing till about a month later. we still consider our anniversary to be the day we met though.

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)
almost exactly 7 months from the day we met. i know...it was soon. but i had pretty much started living at his house since we met, so it kind of made sense. we've been living together for over a year now and it's been perfect.

How long between exclusivity and engagement?
N/A yet

How long between engagement and marriage?
N/A, but i'm kinda scoping out maybe Nov '11. it'd be perfect because in our bar conversation the day we met, we were joking and somehow came to the agreement that we'd get married in 3 years.

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)
we want to enjoy the married life for a few years before we take on children, so it'll definitely be a while...

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?
yeah. it was good timing for both of us because we had been out of our last serious relationships for about 2 years each. it was nice because we've both had the experience of a serious relationship, so we knew what we were looking for and what we weren't, but we also both had the time to enjoy being single. we are both still fairly young (23 & 27) so we aren't in a hurry to rush things, ESPECIALLY the kids. we can be married and still do everything we want to, but the kids changes everything

desertsun · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?
At work. He was my boss.

How long was it between meeting and first date?

About 3 months, since we only saw each other at work, there was the whole he's my boss issue, and he'd also been through a bad breakup recently.

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?

Pretty immediate. I don't like to share the person I'm dating.

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)

A year

How long between exclusivity and engagement?

3.5 years

How long between engagement and marriage?

7 months

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)

We want a house first, so we're thinking about a year to save, and then however long it takes to find and buy a house and get moved in and settled a bit before we start trying. Maybe 2 years? Maybe 1.5? We'll see.

EDIT: Forgot this one! Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?

I definitely think that people who have had more life experience know their own minds and capabilities better than those who are still very young, and that impacts relationships in all kinds of ways.

rickylee244 · July 2010

How did you meet your SO?
Technically, I knew of him 2 years before I met him. We met at my best friend's 21st birthday party. I had just gotten out of a long term relationship (where we had just moved in together (a big mistake, that may be the only thing I regret doing in my life) and he was going away for 4 months to Bermuda. She introduced us through facebook, spoke online and then met. Spent the weekend together, thought it would just be a quick fling, but we both feel hard and fast.

How long was it between meeting and first date?
Two weeks when he came to my apartment to help me finish kicking out my ex. We bought a matress and went out to dinner.

How long was it between first date and exclusivity?
Same day. We decided we wanted to see where this would go. He left 2 weeks later for 4 months.

How long between exclusivity and moving in together? (If applicable)
After 2 years of dating LD. We moved our whole lives to Florida for school made our home together

How long between exclusivity and engagement?
About 2.75 years

How long between engagement and marriage?
8 months

How long between marriage and BABY MAKING? (This one's just for me - or you can put in your estimated timeline)
We want to wait until I am done with my Ph.D. and in a job. So we're looking at between 2.5 to 3 years.

Do you think your age made a difference in your timelines? Do you think that the age at which you meet affects the timeline of your relationship?
Well it defnitly made a difference in how we dated, since for most of our first 2 years together we lived in different states, and the first 4 months different countries. But I think that also helped in that we have great communication skills with one another since thats all we could do for a long time.

I dont really think it had an influence on our timeline though.

In light of my Special-ness

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