S/O: WHY does this board attract drama?

lunarsongbird · December 2011

A couple more questions:
So why do you all think this board attracts drama?

And is there anything that can be done to discourage it?

becka717 · December 2011

Hi linger! Sorry I missed you the other day, were you able to get that poo out?

becka717 · December 2011

That's good! I was going to recommend catching a stomach bug or making some exlax brownies to help with that.

[Deleted User] · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_this-board-attract-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:921f0665-be7d-407f-881f-9104d8d24e38Post:884cef69-fc73-4de3-b829-68d77cb981c2">Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]This place attracts drama because so many of the posters here crave it and create it regularly. It's so easy to stir the pot here.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

This. Drama will only be sustained if people help it along. I should know. I'm a fan of it and have stirred many a pot.

lunarsongbird · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_this-board-attract-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:921f0665-be7d-407f-881f-9104d8d24e38Post:10b00df8-1242-4a4c-94b7-bfbe93b1dfaf">Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]That's good! I was going to recommend catching a stomach bug or making some exlax brownies to help with that. :)
Posted by becka717[/QUOTE]

Or sugar-free candies....Holy heck. If people knew what happened when you ate sugar free candy- it would become a new eating disorder.

lunarsongbird · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_this-board-attract-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:921f0665-be7d-407f-881f-9104d8d24e38Post:e7620d45-eea7-40c7-b01d-147ba2a6e9d1">Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama? : This. Drama will only be sustained if people help it along. I should know. I'm a fan of it and have stirred many a pot.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

Aah...So many a posters on this board LIKE the drama....
<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/3/15/f3bb901b-3f37-4fb5-af91-73813cedd9a4.large.gif" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/3/15/f3bb901b-3f37-4fb5-af91-73813cedd9a4.medium.gif" alt="" /></a>

Can drama be separated from hurt feelings?

becka717 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_this-board-attract-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:921f0665-be7d-407f-881f-9104d8d24e38Post:fc742b9d-7703-4853-8d2e-61e87cba6199">Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama? : Or sugar-free candies....Holy heck. If people knew what happened when you ate sugar free candy- it would become a new eating disorder.
Posted by lunarsongbird[/QUOTE]

Interesting I did not know that.
A good BM is very important. I recommend extra fiber to keep them regular.

[Deleted User] · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_this-board-attract-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:921f0665-be7d-407f-881f-9104d8d24e38Post:96abe062-decc-471a-8439-1ea8804cf90a">Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama? : Can drama be separated from hurt feelings?
Posted by lunarsongbird[/QUOTE]

Yes. But there is always a line. It's when people cross it that things go way overboard.

lunarsongbird · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_this-board-attract-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:921f0665-be7d-407f-881f-9104d8d24e38Post:84a909d9-b27d-4e2e-a13b-83f054fb9840">Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama? : Yes. But there is always a line. It's when people cross it that things go way overboard.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

And do you feel that people on this board...or maybe just TK in general don't know where that line is?

cinderellasjc · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_this-board-attract-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:921f0665-be7d-407f-881f-9104d8d24e38Post:96abe062-decc-471a-8439-1ea8804cf90a">Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama? : Aah...So many a posters on this board LIKE the drama.... Can drama be separated from hurt feelings?
Posted by lunarsongbird[/QUOTE]

no not many.... just some, who seem to be gone now! I think it was like a territorial thing. Some felt like other girls were trying to pee on their hydrant.

becka717 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_this-board-attract-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:921f0665-be7d-407f-881f-9104d8d24e38Post:dbbad4c6-9acd-4d0b-85ac-a56bce27c638">Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama? : And do you feel that people on this board...or maybe just TK in general don't know where that line is?
Posted by lunarsongbird[/QUOTE]

This board is still fairly new and many people that post on it are also newer to the boards in general. So the first drama was a shock to some of us. Now some of us know how the game is played and take it in stride better. I also think there were people being inappropriate to each other on the board, but I think (and hope) that's figured out now.

lunarsongbird · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_this-board-attract-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:921f0665-be7d-407f-881f-9104d8d24e38Post:43c4b540-c551-4ddd-94d7-492ab49fe428">Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama? : This board is still fairly new and many people that post on it are also newer to the boards in general. So the first drama was a shock to some of us. Now some of us know how the game is played and take it in stride better. I also think there were people being inappropriate to each other on the board, but I think (and hope) that's figured out now.
Posted by becka717[/QUOTE]

I wonder if someone of them were also established on E or SB and were using this platform to be snarky towards eachother?

I've never been on E or SB at all...I'm not at all snarky- so I'm sure I'd be eaten alive. I just don't think there is ever a time or place to be rude or hurtful- even if it seems benign to most people.

becka717 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_this-board-attract-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:921f0665-be7d-407f-881f-9104d8d24e38Post:4fd341a3-0a5d-4e1c-8a3d-1b5139bc9295">Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama? : I wonder if someone of them were also established on E or SB and were using this platform to be snarky towards eachother? I've never been on E or SB at all...I'm not at all snarky- so I'm sure I'd be eaten alive. I just don't think there is ever a time or place to be rude or hurtful- even if it seems benign to most people.
Posted by lunarsongbird[/QUOTE]

There were definitely long time posters from E and SB that wandered over here when the board was made. They didn't start off trying to be snarky to each other, but once someone got out of line, others from E / SB would come over to straighten them out.

[Deleted User] · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_this-board-attract-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:921f0665-be7d-407f-881f-9104d8d24e38Post:dbbad4c6-9acd-4d0b-85ac-a56bce27c638">Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama? : And do you feel that people on this board...or maybe just TK in general don't know where that line is?
Posted by lunarsongbird[/QUOTE]

I think most people do know where the line is, but I think you've had some posters on this board in particular that have been a little cray cray lately.

[Deleted User] · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_this-board-attract-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:921f0665-be7d-407f-881f-9104d8d24e38Post:4398b4fc-9b0c-4283-8c96-53751b83bf44">Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama? : They don't need to use PS as a platform for snarkiness. E and SB work perfectly fine for that. The E and SB regs didn't start the drama over here. They hopped in once the drama had started, but they certainly weren't the catalysts.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

Yep. We don't need to come to PS to bitch at eachother. We are able to do it just fine on E and SB.

lunarsongbird · December 2011

I think these boards would probably be a sociologist dream. It's all very interesting...

crash2729 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_this-board-attract-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:921f0665-be7d-407f-881f-9104d8d24e38Post:4fd341a3-0a5d-4e1c-8a3d-1b5139bc9295">Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama? : <strong>I wonder if someone of them were also</strong> <strong>established on E or SB and were using this platform to be snarky towards eachother?</strong>
Posted by lunarsongbird[/QUOTE]

<div>I think that some people on this board were too trusting and became FB friends almost immediately. I think some people here don't know how to draw the internet safety line. IMO.</div><div>
Most of the people who were the cause of drama are gone now. One not by her own choice. Plus the mod that they all wanted to run off is now gone. </div><div>
</div><div>I think there will still be a few people who try to stir the pot though.</div>

lunarsongbird · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_this-board-attract-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:921f0665-be7d-407f-881f-9104d8d24e38Post:a273a1d3-4374-47f4-9576-a1fd103baefb">Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama? :<strong> I think that some people on this board were too trusting and became FB friends almost immediately.</strong> I think some people here don't know how to draw the internet safety line. IMO. Most of the people who were the cause of drama are gone now. One not by her own choice. Plus the mod that they all wanted to run off is now gone. I think there will still be a few people who try to stir the pot though.
Posted by crash2729[/QUOTE]

This is an unfortunate truth...you can't always trust people on the internet, or in life, really.

jbrook12 · December 2011

I started posting here when the board was new, and since all the drama I haven't posted much at all. I don't like drama at all and thats why I have kind of stayed away for awhile.

divinemsbee · December 2011

Yeah, I think some people on the board bonded very quickly, and there was a lot of off-board (FB and PM) drama that leaked onto the board. Which sucks, because when I go back through posts, I don't see a lot of drama, unless it's in very specific call-out threads, the rest is just pretty good advice/vents the same as most boards. I've admitted, I was really unaware of most of the off-board craziness going on until DJ talked about it when she quit as mod, and a lot of that was something I never would have see just checking in on this board every day or so.

I think the fact that when this board was created it caused a good bit of drama by its very existence may play a part of some of this as well. I remember there were multi-page threads on E about whether it should even exist, which lead to some people getting really defensive about it, which lead to this very insular little group. I do think it's unfair to say that all of the posters here wanted DJ gone, because I just don't think that's true. I think there was a very vocal minority that wanted answers that they weren't by any means entitled to. I also think Becka is right and that because many people started posting on here first without even lurking on other boards so they felt protective of people on here that they maybe shouldn't have thinking that those people were looking out for their interests, when they really weren't.

I also think Crash is right in that some people are just going to stir the pot because they're bored or whatever. And that's just something that happens on the internet. You also rarely see the pot-stirrers in regular threads though, so it's pretty easy to avoid if you want.

crash2729 · December 2011

I don't think that everyone on the whole board wanted DJ gone.

Most of the people who were causing the drama did. They now appear to be gone either by choice or bannination.

ETA: I will go ahead and say that I think part of the problem is when people say "why do non-plus size people post here?". Well, it's not a secret club you need a password to get into. It's public.

sunnydays630 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_this-board-attract-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:921f0665-be7d-407f-881f-9104d8d24e38Post:a88f960e-e09f-4ea3-a892-58523a3c897e">Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, I think some people on the board bonded very quickly, and there was a lot of off-board (FB and PM) drama that leaked onto the board. Which sucks, because when I go back through posts, I don't see a lot of drama, unless it's in very specific call-out threads, the rest is just pretty good advice/vents the same as most boards. I've admitted, <strong>I was really unaware of most of the off-board craziness going on until DJ talked about it when she quit as mod, and a lot of that was something I never would have see just checking in on this board every day or so.</strong> I think the fact that when this board was created it caused a good bit of drama by its very existence may play a part of some of this as well. I remember there were multi-page threads on E about whether it should even exist, which lead to some people getting really defensive about it, which lead to this very insular little group. I do think it's unfair to say that all of the posters here wanted DJ gone, because I just don't think that's true. I think there was a very vocal minority that wanted answers that they weren't by any means entitled to. I also think Becka is right and that because many people started posting on here first without even lurking on other boards so they felt protective of people on here that they maybe shouldn't have thinking that those people were looking out for their interests, when they really weren't. I also think Crash is right in that some people are just going to stir the pot because they're bored or whatever. And that's just something that happens on the internet. You also rarely see the pot-stirrers in regular threads though, so it's pretty easy to avoid if you want.
Posted by divinemsbee[/QUOTE]<div>Me too. I feel kind of dumb in a way, because I never picked up on some of the craziness. Some posters kind of rubbed me the wrong way from the beginning, so I didn't interact with them. I am surprised at who went completely crazy, so I feel like an idiot because usually I am a pretty good judge of character. I don't regret posting here when I did, because I got some good advice, but I just don't want to be lumped in with the rest of the crazy posters.

</div>

jbrook12 · December 2011

It has never bothered me if people posting here were plus sized or not. As far as all the drama that went on outside of the board or what all was done to DJ, I have never aware of that. I am hopeful that the drama can die down. I would love if it would stop, but I am not holding my breath.

bruna29 · December 2011

I agree with jbrook. It's never bothered me to have non-PS size people post. And the whole DJ thing just makes me sad.

AudgiePodge · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_this-board-attract-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:921f0665-be7d-407f-881f-9104d8d24e38Post:a273a1d3-4374-47f4-9576-a1fd103baefb">Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama? : I think that some people on this board were too trusting and became FB friends almost immediately. I think some people here don't know how to draw the internet safety line.
Posted by crash2729[/QUOTE]

<div>Classic rookie mistake.</div>

okiediva · December 2011

The drama has basically gone. Also noted that several posters no longer post here

cinderellasjc · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_this-board-attract-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:921f0665-be7d-407f-881f-9104d8d24e38Post:3b314c74-baaa-480a-87cc-c2977d39d475">Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think that everyone on the whole board wanted DJ gone. Most of the people who were causing the drama did. They now appear to be gone either by choice or bannination. ETA: I will go ahead and say that I think part of the problem is when people say "why do non-plus size people post here?". <strong>Well, it's not a secret club you need a password to get into. It's public.
</strong>Posted by crash2729[/QUOTE]

Love it......

okiediva · December 2011

And also I hadn't heard but there were complaints about this board even being created? Why?

afeith6658 · December 2011

New Mod? Congratulations!

MandiNewMommy · December 2011

Well...I am new to the board but not to the knot and bump all the time. I def see it on other boards as well but you guys have me scared to death to post here...lol

lunarsongbird · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_this-board-attract-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:921f0665-be7d-407f-881f-9104d8d24e38Post:744d9a9a-f49a-4243-a2b4-64dede1e2afa">Re: S/O: WHY does this board attract drama?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well...I am new to the board but not to the knot and bump all the time. I def see it on other boards as well but you guys have me scared to death to post here...lol
Posted by MandiNewMommy[/QUOTE]

Uh oh...maybe I should have done more researching before posting here. LOL.
And now we are modless....Eeek! ;)

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