Special Topic Wedding Boards
Cat:Special Topic Wedding Boards
Gifts.. Or no gifts... That is the question!?!
Second Weddings
Gifts.. Or no gifts... That is the question!?!
Making a second (or third) trip down the aisle? Chat with others in the same boat here.
Ok... So here is the situation.. This is the second marriage for both my FI and I, and I've seemed to have run into a problem, and was curious to see everyone's thoughts on it... Fist let me give
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Second Weddings
Gifts.. Or no gifts... That is the question!?!
Making a second (or third) trip down the aisle? Chat with others in the same boat here.
Ok... So here is the situation.. This is the second marriage for both my FI and I, and I've seemed to have run into a problem, and was curious to see everyone's thoughts on it... Fist let me give
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Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35
Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:58e575cd-221a-4f12-a1b1-d35a754bed75
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Gifts.. Or no gifts... That is the question!?!
posted at 1/30/2012 12:53 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
03-31-2011
DETROIT 9975371699264271
Posts: 10
First: 4/13/2011
Last: 2/1/2012
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Ok... So here is the situation.. This is the second marriage for both my FI and I, and I've seemed to have run into a problem, and was curious to see everyone's thoughts on it... Fist let me give you a little bit of background about our wedding.. We are getting married in a small chapel at 3pm, then at 7pm we are hosting a cocktail party with hot and cold hor'douerves.. We are holding the reception at an FOP hall. We are not having assigned seating and actually have rented a couple of high top bar tables for people to stand around and drink/eat! Now, here is my question.. Has anyone specified on their invitation "No Gifts"?? My future mother-in-law is very adamant that we list that on our invites because it is both of our second marriages.. just curious to see what everyone's thought were!
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Re: Gifts.. Or no gifts... That is the question!?!
posted at 1/30/2012 1:27 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
02-24-2008
CINCINNATI 9269394721105156
Posts: 20
First: 11/9/2011
Last: 4/6/2012
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This is a second marriage for both my fiance and I. I asked the same question because we are actually asking people to travel about 4 hours for our wedding. My fiance thinks we shouldn't register, but everyone that gave me feedback said that people will want to buy you gifts weather it's a second wedding or a tenth. So I am planning to register for a few things to upgrade. I'm not listing it on my wedding site, but if people ask, I will tell them where we are registered.
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Re: Gifts.. Or no gifts... That is the question!?!
posted at 1/30/2012 3:35 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
01-16-2005
BOSTON 963153687503802
Posts: 1278
First: 7/21/2009
Last: 5/23/2012
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^what she said is correct. In addition, it is in poor taste to mention gifts on a wedding invitation at all. If your fMIL would like to share that thought by word of mouth (and that is INDEED what the two of you want) she may do so.
However, I think your fMIL needs to MHOB. ~Donna
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Pay less attention to the details; it's the moments that you will remember.
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Re: Gifts.. Or no gifts... That is the question!?!
posted at 1/30/2012 5:37 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
05-31-2006
ATLANTA 117922125007116
Posts: 1534
First: 7/20/2009
Last: 5/23/2012
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Donna is correct. To mention gifts at all on an invitation is not proper etiquette. And HUS did exactly the right thing, and what most of us here have done; register for an upgrade or replace things that are wearing out. Many people, your friends and family, and possibly co-workers will want to share in your happiness and show it by giving you gifts. Better you should register and get what you want rather than wind up with the dreaded chili-pepper lamp. (Not that there's anything wrong with that, but apparently it didn't go with the bride's decor, and because the giver is a frequent visitor to her home, she must display it.)
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Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome
youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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Re: Gifts.. Or no gifts... That is the question!?!
posted at 1/30/2012 7:05 PM EST
on theknot.com
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*Moderator*
Joined on
12-19-2005
NORTH CAROLINA 210124875002240
Posts: 12573
First: 7/20/2009
Last: 5/24/2012
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The couple should not mention gifts. At all. Even if they don't want them. To do so is to hint that they were otherwise expected.
Gift information does not belong in invitations, with the sole exception of shower invitations.
Don't register, and spread the word around through family as you would for a traditional registry. You have a fuly stocked house, so just please come.
Please have adequate seating for all the guests. It's rude to expect them to stand all evening, and nobody wants to balance their evening wrap and their purse while they eat. It's fine not to assign seats, but please be sure you HAVE plenty of seats.
Hope this helps.
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"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."
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Re: Gifts.. Or no gifts... That is the question!?!
posted at 1/30/2012 7:10 PM EST
on theknot.com
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*Moderator*
Joined on
12-19-2005
NORTH CAROLINA 210124875002240
Posts: 12573
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Last: 5/24/2012
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Oh, and I second what everyone said about having a small registry. I didn't register because I didn't need anything, either, and this was my third wedding. I told everyone who asked to just please come....but some folks won't come to a wedding without a gift, regardless of how much you insist otherwise.
I had a pile of white elephants to get rid of, and my dear friends were out their money.
Almost anything goes except money. Do you have any hobbies?
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"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."
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Re: Gifts.. Or no gifts... That is the question!?!
posted at 1/31/2012 6:51 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
11-15-2009
DETROIT 5943938691941589
Posts: 7050
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Last: 5/24/2012
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RE: seating. I agree with what's been said, you really need to plan on having seating, whether high bar seats or chairs at a table.
RE: Gifts. Everyone is also correct. To mention them at all (even if not desired) is poor taste. We didn't need anything and did not register. We received 3-4 gifts (silver photo album, a wind chime, home made garden stone) from close friends and family. Everyone else gave money. Even if you don't expect or want them, the word needs to be spread by mouth, not in writing.
Come and introduce yourself on the Detroit board. Nice bunch of ladies.
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Re: Gifts.. Or no gifts... That is the question!?!
posted at 2/4/2012 7:44 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
01-19-2010
DC AREA 7125994988121451
Posts: 6361
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Last: 5/24/2012
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Honestly, I think "no gifts" written on an invitation is in very poor taste. We did not have a registry and have no regrets about that. We received a few gifts, some cash but most people gave us cards. That was just fine.
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