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Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!
Second Weddings
Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!
Making a second (or third) trip down the aisle? Chat with others in the same boat here.
Whether you're widowed or divorced - be welcome here. We've walked in your shoes, cried your tears, and rejoice with you as you begin this new chapter in your lives. There are no dumb questions, and m
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Second Weddings
Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!
Making a second (or third) trip down the aisle? Chat with others in the same boat here.
Whether you're widowed or divorced - be welcome here. We've walked in your shoes, cried your tears, and rejoice with you as you begin this new chapter in your lives. There are no dumb questions, and m
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Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35
Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:b3407d87-ce41-4ea9-9ace-256e03d26aa7
Forums  >  Special Topic Wedding Boards  >  Second Weddings  >  Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!
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Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 8/2/2011 7:07 PM EDT on theknot.com
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Whether you're widowed or divorced - be welcome here. We've walked in your shoes, cried your tears, and rejoice with you as you begin this new chapter in your lives.

There are no dumb questions, and most of us find the "It's Normal" thread especially helpful.

This board is primarily for those planning another wedding after divorce or death of a spouse rather than those planning Vow Renewals or Anniversary Celebrations, although everyone is welcome to post.
"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 8/7/2011 11:31 PM EDT on theknot.com
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This is a second (and last) marriage for both of us. We are doing a church wedding (our first marriages were annulled) and our children will be our wedding party.  I feel so out of place when I go to the bridal shop as I am "old"/54 years old.  We are trying to make this "low key"  Are you supposed to register for a second marriage?  We have everything we need in the house.  And we do not expect "envelopes" at our open house/reception-how do you convey that to the guests?

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 8/8/2011 10:00 AM EDT on theknot.com
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 Biker2011:  Yes, register.  Or you'll get the DREADED CHILI PEPPER LAMP.   You convey that  you don't want money by word of mouth.  Any mention of any gifts whatsoever, even to say "no gifts" isn't done on an invitation.  But, in the future, if you want responses to this, you'll want to post on your own.  The post you've replied to is a sticky, so if you want a better response you'll want to go on farther down the board.  Welcome!
Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 8/10/2011 6:15 PM EDT on theknot.com
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Register if you wish.

The only time it's okay to mention gifts to your guests is if they ask. Then you tell them where you registered, or ask them to just please come.

As Handfast said.....a small registry is advisable. You'll get random gifts, even if you tell everyone you don't need a thing (ask me how I know this....sigh....) otherwise.
"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 8/24/2011 1:59 PM EDT on theknot.com
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We weren't going to register since we're older and don't really need anything, but a good friend who lives across the country really encouraged me to do it.  He made the point that some people are going to get you something no matter what you do and it might as well be something you like!  So I created a registry on giftregistry360 and included our favorite charity along with some things we'd like in different price ranges. 

Since we aren't having a shower, the most subtle way to get the word out that I could come up with was to add a line to our reception card that states "More information can be found on our wedding website at  xxxxxxxx.com .  Of course the website includes the registry info...At least it's somewhere I can point people to if they ask and I managed to avoid ANY mention of gifts on the invitations/reception cards!

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 8/29/2011 9:56 PM EDT on theknot.com
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We are planning on putting on the invitations somewhere, haven't figured that out yet, that we do not want gifts. But are planning on saying something like "the gift of your presence is all that is wanted". We are older also and don't need anything. I do like the idea of a charity though. I think that is a really nice idea.

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 8/30/2011 6:05 PM EDT on theknot.com
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Actually, etiquette prohibits the couple from mentioning gifts.

At all.

Even if you don't want them.

To do so is to hint that they were otherwise expected.

No mention of gifts should ever go into an invitation (the exception are shower invitations).  What you CAN do is not register, and tell those who ask about the registry that you don't need anything, or to please make a donation to their favorite charity if they wish.
"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 8/31/2011 11:48 AM EDT on theknot.com
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Hi all my name is Deb and Im planning my third wedding his second. Am i crazy for wanting a traditional ceremony and I want to do a BBQ picnic reception following it. Any advice would be great.  thanks

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 9/4/2011 7:49 PM EDT on theknot.com
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When a couple hosts the wedding, are corsages required for the mother still?

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 9/15/2011 10:47 PM EDT on theknot.com
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I say that it is nice to thank your mother for giving you the gift of life..... so, I say yes.  Give mom a corsage.
~Scott & Shelly~ ~4/23/10~We met our soulmates~ ~6/17/10~He popped the big question~ ~10/14/12~We become one flesh~

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 9/25/2011 3:58 PM EDT on theknot.com
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Hi, this will be the 2nd marriage for us both. We are paying for our wedding 100%.  Having a small wedding but formal. Do we still need to do the full introductions of the parents, grandparents and wedding party as they enter the reception? Or, can we just have ourselves introduced?  What do you think?
Thanks!

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 10/3/2011 10:50 AM EDT on theknot.com
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In Response to Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!:
Hi, this will be the 2nd marriage for us both. We are paying for our wedding 100%.  Having a small wedding but formal. Do we still need to do the full introductions of the parents, grandparents and wedding party as they enter the reception? Or, can we just have ourselves introduced?  What do you think? Thanks!
Posted by seeelahh


Of course you can do whatever you want, but I think if you are going to have  a reception where his family and yours are present, it would be nice if everyone knew who everyone was. So I think you should have the introduction.
The Future Mrs Fuller Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 10/24/2011 2:06 PM EDT on theknot.com
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So this will be my second marriage and I cant make any choices...Beach, home, destination.  I just dont know where to start and what is right this time.  the only thing I do know is that I dont want what I had the first time.  Traditional, big italian wedding...

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 11/30/2011 5:47 PM EST on theknot.com
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This will be my 3rd marriage and my FI's 2nd. We are getting married at a JP with my children and maybe our parents. But we are having a reception the following evening to invite our close friends. We are very laid back, informal people. On our invites we stated the date that we would be married "in a private ceremony" and would like them to join us for a reception, with the date, time and location. On the bottom we also wrote *Casual Attire and *No Gifts Please. This may be wrong but this is what we decided on. We are not dressing up fancy for the reception or our "wedding".

I am having trouble with my reception details, however. We are going "informal" but I still want it to look nice, but not go overboard on expenses. Our food is taken care of, so all we really need is some decorations. No color themes have been decided on (well, FI would love if I'd let him to the Camo hunting theme).

Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions to turn a "bland" room into something nice?

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 12/1/2011 10:26 PM EST on theknot.com
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Lots of candlelight.  Adds a warm, intimate feel.
"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 12/12/2011 11:31 AM EST on theknot.com
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This is also not my first marriage nor his.  However, I never had a wedding the first time around so I am having a some what big one.  He had a huge Catholic wedding his first time around then a very simple one.  Some people are looking at me like I'm crazy when I say I am having a big wedding. Especially his family who have already attended more than one wedding for him.  I'm 40 and he is 50 and I want a real wedding.  Why don't people understand that no matter how old of a bride you are you can still have a formal wedding?

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 12/12/2011 8:40 PM EST on theknot.com
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There's still a view of brides as dewy-eyed virgins in some circles. (Ha ha.....that wasn't necessarily the case a hundred years ago, either.)

Give them the frosty look and thank them for their warm congratulations. That usually shuts them right up.
"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 12/13/2011 1:53 AM EST on theknot.com
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I'm a  bit of a southern woman :) My soon to be hubby is carpathian gypsy. (Bit of a difference I kno.) This will be our second wedding. I have 1 child , he has none, My daughter, sister and few friends along with his friends will be the wedding party. Now my question is should i compromise on wedding attire my other half wants the guys to wear kilts, I DON"T MIND THAT!!!! but i want them in camo.(I THINK) and my ladies in a solid green, brown, or black dress, Both parties wearing combat boots. #2 We are getting married @ 12:00 10/31/2013. (HALLOWEEN) after the wedding I want an all day reception/party (alcohol) included.How can i tell my very christian parents and family friends that there will be alcohol there, and ensure that they attend the wedding? #3 the wedding and reception will be outside. I am lost when i think  of ideas for food??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? HELP pls,   Any comments appriciated
**Hell's Belle**

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 12/25/2011 8:13 PM EST on theknot.com
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Hey this would be a second marriage and my fiances first. I am a 22 year old divorced woman. I have a daughter who is my life. I have no idea where to start for a second wedding.  HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 12/29/2011 2:33 PM EST on weddings.com
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Newly engaged on Christmas morning! I am 33 years old, this will be my second marriage, but my 32 year old fiance's first. His mother wants a wedding, so a wedding we will have. I think if we had our way, we would probably do just a small family affair, but we are gamely jumping on board. Our wedding has a few challenges, but we have over a year to plan. We are tentatively planning May 11, 2013, but may move it a month in either direction, depending on venue. Our main problem is that while we live in the Fargo, ND area, we both grew up in Fredericksburg, VA, where we will get married. We met in sixth grade, and were best friends in high school, then lost touch when I moved here. 2 years ago we reunited, after my divorce. Now he moved to be with me here.

We want to have a mid-size wedding, probably about 130 people, with the ceremony and reception in the same venue. We would like to keep it between $7K-12K, if possible, but the Northern VA area is far more expensive than here, plus travel costs...ugh.

Anyway, I am super excited to be here, and to start looking around and sharing stories and ideas!

Melissa

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 12/29/2011 11:59 PM EST on theknot.com
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we are also engaged and our second marrriage, we want to do just a personal beach wedding with the two of us and a family bbq in summer or fall !  any advice  on where to go?

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 1/3/2012 10:16 PM EST on theknot.com
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Help.  This will be my 2nd marriage and my loves 2nd marriage.  We have 5 kids together.  We are trying to move to a central location and plan a small wedding.  Both are to take place in the month of June.  I want a small wedding....does anyone have any good ideas for small weddings? 

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 1/8/2012 6:03 PM EST on theknot.com
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In Response to Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!:
Help.  This will be my 2nd marriage and my loves 2nd marriage.  We have 5 kids together.  We are trying to move to a central location and plan a small wedding.  Both are to take place in the month of June.  I want a small wedding....does anyone have any good ideas for small weddings? 
Posted by kldials


Small is relative.  The absolute smallest wedding would be you and your groom (with an officiant, if required by the jurisdiction in which you marry).  You could bump that up a notch and include the kids or bump it up another notch and include your parents as well.  If I'm reading your post correctly, your move and wedding are planned for the same month.  If that is truly the case, I'd likely opt for a very, very small affair (you, FI and kids) with an officiant of your choice, perhaps in the LR or back yard of the new house. Keep it simple. Good luck!

When we married in July (my 2nd, hubby's 3rd), we had a tiny wedding party -- each of us had a best man -- in an intimate, outdoor setting with live, classical music and about 50 guests (very, very close family and friends).  Dinner and dancing (with a DJ) followed indoors.

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 1/18/2012 1:01 PM EST on theknot.com
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This is my second marriage & his too but this August 25th, 2012 will be our first wedding. I'm 38 & totally understand how you feel. When I go into bridal boutiques with my 25 yr old stepdaughter & get the surprised response" Oh, you're the bride". I'm in love & am enjoying all the excitement & its all on my dime so I say " enjoy it, Smile & have fun! This is your beautiful celebration that will launch your new life as husband & wife so do it YOUR way!! As for the future in laws just smile & be the wonderful person your fiance fell in love with & they will just grin & bear it.
Congratulations!!!

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 1/19/2012 9:31 AM EST on theknot.com
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This is the second marriage for both of us, and we are both late 50's..
neither one of us was able to make many choices in our first weddings/receptions, so we are having fun plannng out this one!
We plan on getting marrried in August, in our back yard.  We have rented a HUGE canopy/tent. The reception will follow right away.  Told guests to dress comfortably, so it will be informal .My eldest son will sing during the ceremony, and two of my Grandchildren will be flower girls...
  We have a DJ booked, who also does Karaoke, and a photo booth for the guests to have fun with.  The food will be brought in and served buffet style, and it's simple food.  
The drinks will be in a huge horse trough, with a couple of beer kegs to go with.  I hired some young men to help maage traffic, serve food, and help set up and clean up. 
It's going to be a great party, and one we will remember with smiles on our faces for the rest of our lives, I hope!  
Gifts are a problem, so we are just not going to mention it, I guess.  I like the idea of putting the information on the invites, about going to a web site.  
I am enjoying reading these posts, and hope to get some great ideas from it  

wedding dress for second timers

posted at 1/19/2012 1:22 PM EST on theknot.com
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hi, im older as well, 45 and fiance almost 50.  should i consider not white dress? I don't know what it is proper thing to do. in my first wedding i did wear white, so i don't have to second time around.  any suggestions?  im more thinking into ivory color?  and where do u even look for budget prices?  i m so new in this planning and don't know where to start...

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 1/19/2012 2:40 PM EST on theknot.com
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Hi Ladies-
This is my second wedding and my Fiancee's first. Although, we do live together, do we, or rather, can we register together for gifts? Or is that tacky if you live together and one has already been married?

I'm at a loss Yell

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 1/19/2012 9:54 PM EST on theknot.com
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You can definitely register.  You'll get a pile of picture frames, aromatherapy baskets and other random white elephants if you don't.


"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 1/20/2012 9:18 AM EST on theknot.com
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Thank you for the response =) I talked to my Fiancee and he agreed about not wanting to get a bunch of unky, unwanted gifts.

Also, what are all these fun (And probably obvious) abbreviations?? Like "FI" and what not? I feel silly that I don't know these, but I am also a "newish" Knottie.

Re: Spouses-to-be in a second marriage (or more....), stop in here!

posted at 2/4/2012 7:26 AM EST on theknot.com
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Hi,
I Am planning my second marriage, it will be June 23,2012.  I am in the middle of picking out music.  This has turned out to be harder than I thought. Any good wedding music or just music websites.  I have been on Itunes ETC, but unless you know the name of the song you really can't get many ideas.
Also has anyone had issues with your future hubby not wanting to dance?  I didn't get to dance at my 1st wedding and I REALLY want to this time around. HELP....how can I get him to dance with me, or is there a creative alternative?
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