Special Topic Wedding Boards
Cat:Special Topic Wedding Boards
Honoring Loved Ones Passed Away
Vows
Honoring Loved Ones Passed Away
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Hi, My brother passed away a couple of years ago (almost 2 exactly, actually), and I'm trying ot think of ways to honor him during the officiant's part of the ceremony wihtout making anything overly s
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Vows
Honoring Loved Ones Passed Away
Share your vows here to create an easy reference vow library for other Knotties.
Hi, My brother passed away a couple of years ago (almost 2 exactly, actually), and I'm trying ot think of ways to honor him during the officiant's part of the ceremony wihtout making anything overly s
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Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:24
Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:24Discussion:7d5a11de-af39-442f-bc7c-1ecda73820e9
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Honoring Loved Ones Passed Away
posted at 11/17/2011 1:11 AM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
02-05-2011
DC AREA 9399324640888127
Posts: 24
First: 8/11/2011
Last: 2/21/2012
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Hi, My brother passed away a couple of years ago (almost 2 exactly, actually), and I'm trying ot think of ways to honor him during the officiant's part of the ceremony wihtout making anything overly sad. My mother reacts poorly to any direct mention of him, so I definitely can't do anything too direct; I was thinking of a basic "acknowledging those who cannot be with us today", but am starting to wonder if that is too vague. This is really a very personal and difficult subject, and I'd appreciate any realistic/understanding suggestions. Thank you in advance!
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One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life, that word is Love. - Socrates
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Re: Honoring Loved Ones Passed Away
posted at 11/17/2011 12:38 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
08-03-2010
HUDSON VALLEY 5371164170480375
Posts: 3753
First: 8/4/2010
Last: 5/24/2012
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Given that you know it hurts your mother so much, could you do something very subtle? I love when brides tie a photo on a locket to their bouquet, or sew a momento into the underside of their gown -- gestures that are essentially invisible to the average person, but still enable him to be with you on the day. Out of respect to your mother, I'd remove all references in the program and ceremony just to avoid opening old wounds over & over throughout the day.
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Re: Honoring Loved Ones Passed Away
posted at 11/17/2011 4:02 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
10-26-2011 4706552328101093
Posts: 148
First: 11/8/2011
Last: 5/22/2012
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My mom passed away just over a year ago, and i am also trying to find a way to honor her on that day without making it too sad. My sister just got married, and she had a table with a few candles, flowers and photo of my mom on it. I think it was a great idea, and not too sad for the guests.
How would your mom handle something like that? its subtle, and out there for everyone to see at the same time.
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Re: Honoring Loved Ones Passed Away
posted at 11/21/2011 11:02 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
02-05-2011
DC AREA 9399324640888127
Posts: 24
First: 8/11/2011
Last: 2/21/2012
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Thank you for your suggestions; I am actually putting a memonto into my bouquet, but I wanted to maybe add something into what the officiant says without it being too "obvious" or "general"...fine line to walk, I suppose. Thanks again:)
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One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life, that word is Love. - Socrates
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Re: Honoring Loved Ones Passed Away
posted at 12/21/2011 10:31 AM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
07-16-2011
DALLAS-FORT WORTH 4540464302332865
Posts: 777
First: 7/16/2011
Last: 4/27/2012
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I know this is a little vague, but this is what I plan on doing during the beginning of the ceremony.
The officiant will say - “At this time we would like to take a moment to remember those people who aren't here to celebrate with us. We will always remember them and we know that they are celebrating with us in spirit. The memories of these beautiful people live on in our hearts today."
I am doing this for my father and grandfather who passed in 2006 and all my other grandparents who passed before I was born. I didn't want it to be specific, but people will know who I mean.
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Re: Honoring Loved Ones Passed Away
posted at 12/31/2011 1:43 AM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
02-05-2011
DC AREA 9399324640888127
Posts: 24
First: 8/11/2011
Last: 2/21/2012
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jml1981: Thank you so much; I am going to use a modified version of what you posted during my vows:)
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One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life, that word is Love. - Socrates
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Re: Honoring Loved Ones Passed Away
posted at 2/5/2012 8:24 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
12-19-2005
NORTH CAROLINA 210124875002240
Posts: 12573
First: 7/20/2009
Last: 5/24/2012
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This is why I'm not a fan of memorials at weddings. They can be meaningful to the couple - but a DREADFUL shock to other family members who arrive at the wedding (joyous occasion) and are suddenly confronted with an unexpected reminder of their grief.
I've been widowed, and would not be okay with photos of my husband at the children's weddings. We have another Knottie who put up a photo of her grandmother at her wedding. Her mom was okay with it, but her aunt saw it and burst into tears. Another Knottie forced her MIL to sit next to an empty chair with a rose on it despite the fact that the MIL was unhappy about it (I think it was heartless and cruel).
Ugly as it sounds, you can't "include" a dead person at your wedding. They are gone, so please be kind to the living. If you do something, please be certain that your other family are okay with it.
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"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."