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vow renewal or wedding?!
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vow renewal or wedding?!
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Okay everyone, here's the deal. In June my fiance is going to give his mom a kidney. We've talked about getting married at the JP before just in case (God forbid) anything happens to him during the su
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Vows
vow renewal or wedding?!
Share your vows here to create an easy reference vow library for other Knotties.
Okay everyone, here's the deal. In June my fiance is going to give his mom a kidney. We've talked about getting married at the JP before just in case (God forbid) anything happens to him during the su
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Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:24Discussion:73a82cf1-6d2b-4f1c-891e-f5024ea42aef
Forums  >  Special Topic Wedding Boards  >  Vows  >  vow renewal or wedding?!
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vow renewal or wedding?!

posted at 12/12/2011 7:45 PM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
01-01-2011
DALLAS-FORT WORTH
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First: 7/4/2011

Last: 12/12/2011


Okay everyone, here's the deal. In June my fiance is going to give his mom a kidney. We've talked about getting married at the JP before just in case (God forbid) anything happens to him during the surgery. But we still want to have a ceremony/reception. I've heard from some people that if you get married at the JP before the "special" ceremony technically the ceremony would be called a vow renewal, not a wedding. I really want our ceremony to feel really special but he thinks it's important that I'm taken care of if anything happens during the surgery. We've talked about having the wedding in May before the surgery but we don't think its feasible $$$ wise. Does anyone have any advice or has anyone been in this type of situation before?  thanks! :)

Re: vow renewal or wedding?!

posted at 12/13/2011 4:19 PM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
02-28-2009
SOUTH CAROLINA
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Posts: 2261
First: 12/30/2010

Last: 5/24/2012


There are a lot of couples who need to go to the JP and then do a vow renewal later because of health, insurance, military, etc. It won't be less special because it's a renewal and if your family/friends can't accept that knowing your circumstances, then they have priority issues. I say go to the JP and then do a renewal later when you can afford it.

Hope everything goes well for your FI and FMIL!

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Re: vow renewal or wedding?!

posted at 12/15/2011 2:07 PM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
08-23-2010
DC AREA
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Last: 4/5/2012


A lot of people look down on getting married before the wedding because "they just couldn't wait."  But I think you have a legitimate reason and if anyone judges you for it and won't attend your wedding, you're probably better off without them.
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Re: vow renewal or wedding?!

posted at 1/4/2012 11:24 AM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
12-10-2009
TOLEDO
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Posts: 24
First: 12/10/2009

Last: 4/1/2012


we are doing the same thing, we got married in July w/JP and are now planning a september 2012 wedding. we only did it earlier because of insurance reasons and i am treating the wedding as the "original". i've always wanted a fall wedding and am now able to do so.
good luck w/everything! sending prayers your way for a good surgery and quick recovery!
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Re: vow renewal or wedding?!

posted at 1/4/2012 11:26 AM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
12-10-2009
TOLEDO
9039960381651387
Posts: 24
First: 12/10/2009

Last: 4/1/2012


we are also writing our own vows to personalize it more
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Re: vow renewal or wedding?!

posted at 1/6/2012 9:13 AM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
06-30-2009
DC AREA
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Posts: 8369
First: 9/26/2009

Last: 5/24/2012


Op -- Why can't you just plan a full-on wedding for May? That way you can have the bells and whistles of a 'traditional' wedding and actually get married. Six months is plenty of time to plan a wedding. Also, there are many ways to keep it inexpensive. If you are getting married in a church, see if they have a community hall you can rent for your reception. Those are usually much cheaper. Have your wedding/reception at a non-meal time (say... 2pm), so that you can serve cake and punch or light snacks instead of a full meal. Don't do favors. Have a smaller wedding party so you spend less on gifts. Serve beer and wine instead of a full open bar.

If you do choose to do the JOP route before your vow renewal, make sure you are up front with your guests about it. Don't try to pass off your vow renewal ceremony as a wedding, because it isn't. A friend of mine did what you are proposing. Her invitations said something like "You are cordially invited to attend X and Y's marriage blessing on ....."

Also, if you do intend get married at the JOP, there are some things that you forgo. For example, it would be innapropriate to then have bridal showers or bachelorette parties, as you are already married.

I'm not trying to get you to change your mind. I just want you to be aware of the full option presented to you. Personally, I would plan for the wedding to be in May before your FI's surgery.

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Re: vow renewal or wedding?!

posted at 1/20/2012 11:28 PM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
01-27-2007
LANSING
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Posts: 1
First: 1/20/2012

Last: 1/20/2012


I was in the same situation, we planned our wedding and booked the venue for this upcoming fall. We married at  the JP in october 2011 and we are still going through with our full wedding ceremony and reception. I'm still having a bridal shower too. All of our family and friends are aware of the circumstances around our JP marriage. There is nothing wrong with having the day the both of you deserve and planned with your friends and family, don't let your JP ceremony change that! If someone doesn't want to come, they dont have to!

I do agree that you need to state something about a renewal ceremony...

Re: vow renewal or wedding?!

posted at 3/26/2012 12:06 PM EDT on theknot.com
Joined on
03-23-2012
SOUTH CAROLINA
8072681003649010
Posts: 2
First: 3/26/2012

Last: 3/26/2012


Mary by the justice of the peace and then have the big or small wedding you want. Yes it is considered a vow renewal, but it is still the wedding of your dreams. My husband and i decided to get married before our daughter was born and now almost five years later are going to have the big one we never had. It's a special time to have what you always dreamed of. Go for it hun, you'll both be glad you did.

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