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Creative Ideas Needed!
Ceremony Ideas
Creative Ideas Needed!
From who can walk you down the aisle to crafty ceremony decor, this board is a helpful area to plan your wedding ceremony.
I would like to incorporate my 17 (will be 18 year old son) in the ceremony. I also want to present something to him and recognize him in our wedding.   So what are your thoughts and what can I
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Ceremony Ideas
Creative Ideas Needed!
From who can walk you down the aisle to crafty ceremony decor, this board is a helpful area to plan your wedding ceremony.
I would like to incorporate my 17 (will be 18 year old son) in the ceremony. I also want to present something to him and recognize him in our wedding.   So what are your thoughts and what can I
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Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:4f59caa4-c841-4276-a1d0-354a6fc0de0f
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Creative Ideas Needed!

posted at 2/10/2012 7:06 PM EST on theknot.com
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I would like to incorporate my 17 (will be 18 year old son) in the ceremony. I also want to present something to him and recognize him in our wedding.  So what are your thoughts and what can I present to him that will be meaningful and a keepsake for a 18 year old?  

Someone did suggest to have him sign our marriage license as a witness, but would appreciate other idea.


Thanks!

Re: Creative Ideas Needed!

posted at 2/10/2012 7:21 PM EST on theknot.com
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I like the idea of him as a witness.  However, since he's not the one getting married -- you and your fiance are -- I don't really think that there is a role for him in the wedding ceremony.  I don't like including children in the marriage ceremony under any circumstances, but since your son will be 18 and legally an adult, it's really not appropriate.

Re: Creative Ideas Needed!

posted at 2/10/2012 7:28 PM EST on theknot.com
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I was that age pretty recently, and to be perfectly honest, I think 'presenting' anything to him might embarrass him a little, and seem kind of inappropriate.  He's an adult, and seems too old for that sort of thing.  I think that signing the marriage licence is a good job for someone that age.  He could also walk you down the aisle.  Something like that says "I want you to be a part of this, and I respectfully value your opinion and place in the family"
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Re: Creative Ideas Needed!

posted at 2/10/2012 9:30 PM EST on theknot.com
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I like the idea of him signing your marriage certificate & walking you down the aisle.  I'm not sure what an 18 year old guy would like as a keepsake, and like PP suggested he might be embarassed about the special attention.

Re: Creative Ideas Needed!

posted at 2/11/2012 6:24 AM EST on theknot.com
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In Response to Re: Creative Ideas Needed!:
I like the idea of him as a witness.  However, since he's not the one getting married -- you and your fiance are -- I don't really think that there is a role for him in the wedding ceremony.  I don't like including children in the marriage ceremony under any circumstances, but since your son will be 18 and legally an adult, it's really not appropriate.
Posted by Peavy


Totally disagree with this.  It is not inappropriate to include the people you love in your wedding ceremony.  

I like the suggestion of having him walk you down the aisle, but I would ask the officiant not to ask "who gives this woman" because that would seem odd to me, as he is your son and not your father.

As far as a keepsake... most 18 year olds I know are way more interested in cash than mementos.  If you want to give him a gift I'd suggest money or an experience gift certificate (i.e. send him and a buddy skiing for a weekend).

Re: Creative Ideas Needed!

posted at 2/11/2012 12:25 PM EST on theknot.com
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Can he walk you down the aisle?  He can also do a reading at the ceremony.  In your programs you can write a special thank you to him or how exctied you are that you will all be a family.  I would also give him the gift with a handwritten card with a nice sentiment in it but maybe do that the morning of the wedding or even the night before.  I'ms ure he is not going to want to be embarrassed during the cremony .ike most 18 year old guys would.
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Re: Creative Ideas Needed!

posted at 2/11/2012 1:28 PM EST on theknot.com
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I think acting as a witness and signing the marriage certificate would be good -- but just make sure he is okay with this.  It indicates that he is 100% supportive of the marriage -- so as long as he IS, then this might be a good solution.  Also, I think in most states witnesses have to be 18 (pretty sure that your post indicated he will be by the wedding, but I wanted to point that out).

Honestly I think the best "keepsake" you can give him would be to say a few nice words during your speeches about how proud you are of the man he has become.   And maybe a nice watch if he doesn't have one already.  

Re: Creative Ideas Needed!

posted at 2/11/2012 1:55 PM EST on theknot.com
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I think having him walk you down the aisle would be nice, and or just a special dance with him at the reception r something. I dont think you need to make it a huge deal, just something simple like that IF he wants to! (Have you asked him what he might like to do? I wouldnt tell an 18 year old that they have do something in your wedding if he isnt interested)
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Re: Creative Ideas Needed!

posted at 2/12/2012 1:48 PM EST on theknot.com
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Ask HIM what he would like to do. Perhaps walk you down the aisle? Make him your Man of Honor.

We have a thread on Second Weddings about children in second weddings.

CEH, our objection is that so many parents get caught up in "including" the kids that they forget to ask the kids.  Some kids (even though this one is 18) aren't comfortable with public attention, and "family vows" can be awkward for them if the other parent is living.  One ADULT Knottie's father forced her to participate in a "family vow" ceremony without even asking her if it was okay.
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Re: Creative Ideas Needed!

posted at 2/12/2012 5:34 PM EST on theknot.com
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Thank you all so much for your ideas. 

I will not be having him (my son) walk me down the aisle.  I have never been married...so that is something I feel that my father should do solo. He  is very much accepting and supportive of the wedding, so I will go with him signing the marriage license during the service.  

From all of your thoughtful insight- I will not present anything to him during the ceremony, but definetly give him something as a gift.  He has been great through the entire planning process.  I just want him to feel included, not excluded from the festivities. Yes, a wedding is between to individuals (family vows are not what I had in mind btw), but it is the people in our lives that we want to also recognize.  These people has formed who we are and what we have become.  For example: my father is walking me down the aisle, and we have a plan for our mothers as well to recognize them.   Thanks! Happy planning

Re: Creative Ideas Needed!

posted at 2/13/2012 1:39 PM EST on theknot.com
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I don't like including children in the marriage ceremony under any circumstances, but since your son will be 18 and legally an adult, it's really not appropriate.
Posted by Peavy

Totally disagree with this.  It is not inappropriate to include the people you love in your wedding ceremony.

Let me clarify -- what I meant was including children in vows or exchanging gifts, etc, but I can see that it didn't come off that way. 

Re: Creative Ideas Needed!

posted at 2/13/2012 11:32 PM EST on theknot.com
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I think something like a really nice watch would be a lovely keepsake. It is something that can stand the test of time and he could look back on in the future and remember where he got it. 

What about a reading? Family members do readings in the ceremony all the time! He could also do a speech at dinner. 

I was 13 when my father remarried. The officiant mentioned the bringing together of a family and said all the names, including my sister and I. It was meaningful to us to be mentioned as part of the family during the ceremony. 

Although we didn't do this, I've also seen families have their children participate in a sand pouring ceremony. 

Talk with your son and brainstorm some ideas. He may love to be involved in this part of the planning!
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