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Is anyone else having future mother-in-law issues? Help!!

Ceremony Ideas

Is anyone else having future mother-in-law issues? Help!!

From who can walk you down the aisle to crafty ceremony decor, this board is a helpful area to plan your wedding ceremony.

I am starting to go crazy dealing with My Fiances mother. I have been trying so hard to deal and to watch what I say and do, but everything is a problem. She cries to him and talk to him like he is 5

False

Ceremony Ideas

Is anyone else having future mother-in-law issues? Help!!

From who can walk you down the aisle to crafty ceremony decor, this board is a helpful area to plan your wedding ceremony.

I am starting to go crazy dealing with My Fiances mother. I have been trying so hard to deal and to watch what I say and do, but everything is a problem. She cries to him and talk to him like he is 5

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Forums > Wedding Boards > Ceremony Ideas > Is anyone else having future mother-in-law issues? Help!!

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Is anyone else having future mother-in-law issues? Help!!

posted at 2/10/2012 12:27 PM EST on theknot.com

Southernsunflow...

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I am starting to go crazy dealing with My Fiances mother. I have been trying so hard to deal and to watch what I say and do, but everything is a problem.

She cries to him and talk to him like he is 5 vs 28! He poor sweet little boy doesnt spend as much time with her anymore. I can understand the threat a wife for him has given her...He was her only son and the youngest at that so I am sure she is feeling some loss...

But does that give her any right to call me names behind my back insult my parenting skills ask him if he is crazy for picking someone like me? She talks bad about me to him like he will agree with her.

I know there is 2 sides to every story but I swear despite my opinionated personality and strong sense of independence I have not done anything to this woman!

She tells him all the time that I won the battle, He chose me over his mother and that she lost him the day he met me.

To my face everything seems to be fine but moments later after we leave there are problems phone calls emails texts about what a problem I am and now she is telling him that she will not be at the wedding. She will not support him marrying someone like me???? I just dont know what to do, and the kill her with kindness does not work I have tried.

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Re: Is anyone else having future mother-in-law issues? Help!!

posted at 2/10/2012 12:29 PM EST on theknot.com

zitiqueen

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In Response to Is anyone else having future mother-in-law issues? Help!!:

I am starting to go crazy dealing with My Fiances mother. I have been trying so hard to deal and to watch what I say and do, but everything is a problem. She cries to him and talk to him like he is 5 vs 28! He poor sweet little boy doesnt spend as much time with her anymore. I can understand the threat a wife for him has given her...He was her only son and the youngest at that so I am sure she is feeling some loss... But does that give her any right to call me names behind my back insult my parenting skills ask him if he is crazy for picking someone like me? She talks bad about me to him like he will agree with her. I know there is 2 sides to every story but I swear despite my opinionated personality and strong sense of independence I have not done anything to this woman! She tells him all the time that I won the battle, He chose me over his mother and that she lost him the day he met me. To my face everything seems to be fine but moments later after we leave there are problems phone calls emails texts about what a problem I am and now she is telling him that she will not be at the wedding. She will not support him marrying someone like me???? I just dont know what to do, and the kill her with kindness does not work I have tried.
Posted by Southernsunflower2012

Well, what's his reaction to her when she does this? He's the one allowing her to behave this way. Is he telling you all the things she says?

fiancee = vag ** fiance = peen ** Babies shouldn't be born with jobs ** **They're called first loves for a reason -- more are supposed to come after. You don't get a medal for marrying your prom date. Unless you're imoan. Then you get an all-expenses paid cruise to the Mediterranean and you get to meet Jared Padalecki on the flight over while wearing your jammies. But still no medal. **

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Re: Is anyone else having future mother-in-law issues? Help!!

posted at 2/10/2012 12:45 PM EST on theknot.com

SugarFoote

Joined on
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TENNESSEE

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Wow. You really need to talk to him about this and then both of you sit down and talk to her. I would die if my FMIL was like that. Mine is great...thank goodness

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Re: Is anyone else having future mother-in-law issues? Help!!

posted at 2/10/2012 1:50 PM EST on theknot.com

soontobemrsep

Joined on
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First: 1/27/2012

Last: 3/23/2012

Yikes.
My advice? Ask your FI how he feels when she says this stuff, chances are he'll say angry, hurt, disappointed, etc... Then ask him to say that to his mom. If she doesn't stop with the badmouthing he may have to limit his contact with her, which will probably really set her off, but it will get the point across.
Good luck!!

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Re: Is anyone else having future mother-in-law issues? Help!!

posted at 2/10/2012 1:54 PM EST on theknot.com

lyns86stc3007

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Geez...I think we share the same MIL...I started to call mine a monster in law

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Re: Is anyone else having future mother-in-law issues? Help!!

posted at 2/10/2012 3:41 PM EST on theknot.com

renegade gaucho

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Why does your fiance think it's acceptable for his mother to treat you so horribly?

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Re: Is anyone else having future mother-in-law issues? Help!!

posted at 2/10/2012 9:02 PM EST on theknot.com

RetreadBride

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You don't have a MIL problem. You have a FIANCE problem.

Think long and hard before you marry this man. He's already shown that he won't put his wiife first - as he should. You will be dealing with this MIL for the rest of her life. Think it's bad now? What if you have children? Her interference will magnify "in the name of 'her' grandchildren."

Do you want three people in your marriage?

"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."

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Re: Is anyone else having future mother-in-law issues? Help!!

posted at 2/11/2012 12:16 PM EST on theknot.com

ltlbug

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I also have a future monster in law. My fiance agress she is super negative and has always been like this, my future sister in law says so too. So we just limit our time with her and put up with her when we have to. She has said some very hurtful things to myself and my mother, she has also told my fiance that he's marrying someone "who will be a hard person to be with." We all just try to let it go, pray for grace and move on. Good luck!

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Re: Is anyone else having future mother-in-law issues? Help!!

posted at 2/11/2012 10:52 PM EST on theknot.com

em01092

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I too am curious as to your FI's reaction to all of this. He should be standing up for you and letting his mom know it's not OK for him to talk about you like this. He should not even entertain the discussion.

How do you know she is talking about you behind your back? Through your FI?

April Siggy Challenge-Wedding Escape: Reading HG/dreaming about Peeta....

Bio-Updated 4/22**

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Re: Is anyone else having future mother-in-law issues? Help!!

posted at 2/12/2012 9:34 AM EST on theknot.com

Grits8812

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He needs to be sticking up for you. He is 28, she knew when she had kids that some day they would move out, get married, etc. It isn't fair to you that you have to deal with her being like that all the time when you say you have done nothing wrong. And as a parent herself, she should really know better than to try to bad mouth other people's parenting skills.

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Re: Is anyone else having future mother-in-law issues? Help!!

posted at 2/16/2012 3:53 AM EST on theknot.com

imean

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Last: 2/20/2012

In my opinion you need to set a boundary with both your fiance and future mother in law. You need to have a convo with your man and let him know that you don't think things will work out for very long if your mother in law is constantly bashing you and being negative about your relationship. You should both then confront her and let her know that as adults you have decided to get married and start a family, and that she needs to come to terms with that, if she crosses that boundary and continues the rude behavior you will have to limit her involvement your lives, as you have decided to get married and make your marriage/family your primary priority and making it work will be what you are most committed to. Having her around could be risky for the marriage relationship. After this boundary is set she can decide whether she is willing to accept you and your family/marriage as if, or if she is so against that she finds it necessary to cut ties, this wil be her decision to make. Hopefully she'll decide to stick around and be more supportive, even if for the sake of her son and grandkids.

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Re: Is anyone else having future mother-in-law issues? Help!!

posted at 2/16/2012 10:51 PM EST on theknot.com

RealHappyGal

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My FMIL and other fam members do not like me not do they approve of our marriage. However, The FI doesnt allow blatent to my face disrespect to go on (anymore). I have also requested to NOT be informed of anything that is sais behind my back. Me knowing the details of it only reinforces what I already know (that they dont like/approve of me) and I get all pissed and upset.
I have no idea if they still talk about me and Id rather not know.

*FI's mom has cancer and will be living with us sometime in the coming year.... pray for me*

Its very hard to deal with In-laws that dont like you and further when the FI/hubbie isnt putting a stop to it. I dont know that there is anything that can be done/said to change their feelings but, atleast they can change blatent actions

I think also that son's are confused who has "the power" in these situations. They dont want to hurt mom. But at end of day mom is never going to disown them....

[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wiuARdf/] [img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/wiuARdf/s-weight.png[/img] [/url]

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Re: Is anyone else having future mother-in-law issues? Help!!

posted at 2/17/2012 12:24 AM EST on theknot.com

funflower1

Joined on
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First: 10/10/2010

Last: 2/17/2012

Are you sure we don't share the same FMIL??? My FMIL gets an attitude with her son if he doesn't cater to her. And heaven forbid we are gone even a minute longer that we say because the world is going to come to an end. My FI and I have argued several times about this but I get the same response each time. He does not want to upset her any more than he has too.

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Re: Is anyone else having future mother-in-law issues? Help!!

posted at 2/21/2012 10:48 PM EST on theknot.com

Southernsunflow...

Joined on
08-22-2011
WEST TEXAS

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Posts: 10

First: 9/19/2011

Last: 5/10/2012

I posted this a long time ago but am still dealing with this. I have talked to my FI about this all the time and he is ashamed that his mother acts like this but they have a very codependent relationship it seems to me. And according to our pre-marital counciler he said that all women need security and bc she isnt getting it from his dad then she is and has been seeking it from her son for years. Now that he doesnt need her and doesnt ask how high when she says jump that her security has been taken away which is why she acts so unruley! I dont know if this is the true reason for her disfunction but it guess it is a start to try to understand it. She is still pathetic and I want to dig a hole and put her in it. I regret talking her into coming to the wedding after she called me a bitch and said she wouldnt show. I screwed up!!! hahaha

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