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Re: Mom and Dad Memorial
posted at 2/6/2012 6:15 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
12-19-2005
NORTH CAROLINA 210124875002240
Posts: 12573
First: 7/20/2009
Last: 5/24/2012
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Memorials can be lovely, but they can also be a dreadful shock to other grieving family members who arrive at the wedding (joyous occasion) and are suddely confronted with an unexpected reminder of their grief. Don't underestimate the effect it can have on you that day: it may drive home the fact that they aren't there.
There are great suggestions above. A prayer "in memory of those who cannot be with us on that day", a mention in the program, carrying something that the loved one owned (a Bible, a piece of jewelry....) or wearing something that was special to them (grandma's veil), can let you feel they're with you without being overwhelming.
The empty chair thing is terribly in your face, and imagine being the family member or friend who has to sit next to it.
Honoring family members and ancestors is also very important to me. We had an outdoor wedding and wrote our own ceremony. We began it by lighting a lawn torch (found some pretty copper ones at Home Depot) "in honor of our ancestors and those who cannot be with us on this day, and in honor of the past that brought us to this place." This let us remember everyone - my parents, my first husband, my brother, his parents, his sister, and all the friends who didn't live to see this day, without upsetting anyone or overwhelming us. As it was, it was still full of emotion for us.
I hope you find a way to remember your loved ones that's right for you and your fiance. Know that your parents are always with you, because death can't kill love.
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