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Suprise weddings...Please give input..I need help!

Ceremony Ideas

Suprise weddings...Please give input..I need help!

From who can walk you down the aisle to crafty ceremony decor, this board is a helpful area to plan your wedding ceremony.

So i have been reading up on this website and others on couples who did suprise weddings and im very intrigued.  my fiance and i have been engaged almost 3 years now and also have a daughter who

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Ceremony Ideas

Suprise weddings...Please give input..I need help!

From who can walk you down the aisle to crafty ceremony decor, this board is a helpful area to plan your wedding ceremony.

So i have been reading up on this website and others on couples who did suprise weddings and im very intrigued.  my fiance and i have been engaged almost 3 years now and also have a daughter who

Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10

Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:4815c7f0-5d11-4761-976b-ef0df6ffc326

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Forums > Wedding Boards > Ceremony Ideas > Suprise weddings...Please give input..I need help!

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Suprise weddings...Please give input..I need help!

posted at 2/6/2012 10:50 AM EST on theknot.com

bex0807

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So i have been reading up on this website and others on couples who did suprise weddings and im very intrigued. my fiance and i have been engaged almost 3 years now and also have a daughter who will be 3 soon. we would like to do a very small wedding with only immediate family and close friends. i would love to do the idea of a suprise wedding for the guests where they are thinking they are comming to something else, however it turns out to be our wedding! However i am having a very hard time thinking of what to use as my cover story! Any one have any ideas of how to get everyone in one place, but not be too obvious???

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Re: Suprise weddings...Please give input..I need help!

posted at 2/6/2012 11:10 AM EST on theknot.com

HobokenBride201...

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Just so you're aware this idea has been brought up before and is not going to go over well. You should not lie to your guests.

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posted at 2/6/2012 11:17 AM EST on theknot.com

ceh789

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I'm trying to figure out why you would do this?

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Re: Suprise weddings...Please give input..I need help!

posted at 2/6/2012 11:25 AM EST on theknot.com

bex0807

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well from what i had seen from other stories online it was a sort of fun idea, the way it was presented in the articles at least....And the reason i was thinking of doing it was just to have sort of a small, unique wedding i guess, something our guests wouldnt expect.

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posted at 2/6/2012 11:30 AM EST on theknot.com

ginx1188

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I think if it fits the bride and groom's style a surprise wedding would be fun! Don't think too much about your cover story, if you do you'll talk to much and people will see right through it. Just call everyone and say you've missed seeing everyone together and you'd like them all to come over on whatever day, or it claim to have something special to tell them...

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Re: Suprise weddings...Please give input..I need help!

posted at 2/6/2012 11:31 AM EST on theknot.com

toothpastechica

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I hate suprises in general, so a suprise wedding sounds kinda dumb to me, and I would feel bad as a guest if I didn't have enough warning to even bring a card or a camera.

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posted at 2/6/2012 11:32 AM EST on theknot.com

Beverly8

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I dont personally think I would like this idea as a guest, to each their own i suppose

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posted at 2/6/2012 11:34 AM EST on theknot.com

ElleB87

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Here's the thing...you're guests aren't going to be as enticed to come if they think it's just a back yard bbq - if something, like cousin billy's baseball game, falls on the same afternoon people who are important to you may skip your wedding (because they don't know it's your wedding). However if they had known it was your wedding they would surely skip cousin billy's baseball game. This could also cause some upset if people choose not to come and find out later that it was your wedding, because had they known it was such a special occasion they would have made more effort to come.

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Re: Suprise weddings...Please give input..I need help!

posted at 2/6/2012 11:45 AM EST on theknot.com

RamonaFlowers

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The big problem with surprise weddings is, unless people know that it's your wedding, there's a chance that they will miss it, or be late or something because some other obligation that they feel is more important than "just a BBQ" (Or some other cover story) ... and then be upset when they find out it was your wedding, because they would have attended if they had known.

If there are people you really don't want to miss it, you need to tell them what you're doing.

I felt sorry for my husband before I even met him-take a number.

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posted at 2/6/2012 11:52 AM EST on theknot.com

tenofcups4me

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It's not my style, but I think it could be fun under the right circumstances. I wouldn't think of it as "lying" to my guests any more than I think I'm "lying" to my parents when I asked them to come to my house for brunch with my family and my sister's family but am in fact planning a suprrise 50th anniversary party for them.

That said, you really need to know your guests and what will make them absolutely come to an event to come up with a cover story. Would they all be sure to show if they thought it was a birthday party for your child or your FH? An anniversary party for your parents? A mother's day get-together? Thanksgiving dinner? What will ensure people come depends on your particular situation.

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posted at 2/6/2012 12:55 PM EST on theknot.com

adktd2boots

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I love to dress up for weddings. But if I thought I was coming to a BBQ or a party, I would probably be in jeans. I would hate that I was at a wedding in jeans, and that I didn't have my camera.

Just because you saw it on Four Weddings, doesn't mean it's a good idea.

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posted at 2/6/2012 1:03 PM EST on theknot.com

Simply Fated

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There are some things I think are pretty important in peoples lives. Getting married is one of them. If I know that what I'm being invited to is a wedding, I'll try my best to rearrange my schedule. If it's something I don't think I'll be too missed at or too disappointed to miss, I'll pass.
My point is, you might not get the turnout you want and some people might get hurt they missed it.
I personally don't see the point in surprise weddings, but it is what it is.

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posted at 2/6/2012 1:20 PM EST on theknot.com

RamonaFlowers

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In Response to Re: Suprise weddings...Please give input..I need help!:

I think if it fits the bride and groom's style a surprise wedding would be fun! Don't think too much about your cover story, if you do you'll talk to much and people will see right through it. Just call everyone and say you've missed seeing everyone together and you'd like them all to come over on whatever day, or it claim to have something special to tell them...
Posted by ginx1188

Just caught this. I've seen this suggestion a few times for surprise weddings ... and honestly, I hate it. The first thing that will spring to most people's minds is "Oh, she's pregnant". Missing somebody's wedding? I'd feel horrible about. Missing their pregnancy announcement? Not so much.

I felt sorry for my husband before I even met him-take a number.

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posted at 2/6/2012 1:37 PM EST on theknot.com

TiffannieF

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In Response to Re: Suprise weddings...Please give input..I need help!:

It's not my style, but I think it could be fun under the right circumstances. I wouldn't think of it as "lying" to my guests any more than I think I'm "lying" to my parents when I asked them to come to my house for brunch with my family and my sister's family but am in fact planning a suprrise 50th anniversary party for them. That said, you really need to know your guests and what will make them absolutely come to an event to come up with a cover story. Would they all be sure to show if they thought it was a birthday party for your child or your FH? An anniversary party for your parents? A mother's day get-together? Thanksgiving dinner? What will ensure people come depends on your particular situation.
Posted by tenofcups4me

I'm in agreement here, although if I were a guest at a 'surprise wedding' I would probably think to myself "wth?"

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Re: Suprise weddings...Please give input..I need help!

posted at 2/6/2012 1:37 PM EST on theknot.com

ceh789

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You know your friends/family better than we do, but I would hate to be a suprise wedding guest. I would feel awkward about not having brought a gift, I would hate to show up with no make up and a ponytail (what I'd usually wear to a family BBQ) and then all of a sudden people are taking pictures... I'd also hate to find out it was a suprise wedding if I had passed on the BBQ to do something else.

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posted at 2/6/2012 2:03 PM EST on theknot.com

graysquirrel

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I think that a surprise wedding sounds really awkward and more AWish somehow than a regular wedding. As a guest I would feel really strange and bad that I didn't bring a gift and I think that I'd probably be a little ticked off to think I was invited to one thing and be tricked.

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posted at 2/6/2012 2:08 PM EST on theknot.com

AllAboutTheBenj...

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Our friends did this and the cover was that it was their engagement party.

It was kind of a bummer though, because we didn't go because it was out of town and we had a different wedding to go to that weekend. If we'd known the engagement party was actually a wedding we would have gone to it.

This is kind of warped.
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posted at 2/6/2012 6:18 PM EST on theknot.com

RetreadBride

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There is nothing wrong with this, and it's often done by people who don't want a lot of fuss.

Invite everyone over to a backyard barbecue. When they arrive, surprise. It's your wedding!

To get the family there: host a family reunion. You'll get to see everyone that way, and they'll appreciate the family gathering just as much as your wedding.

"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."

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posted at 2/6/2012 9:15 PM EST on theknot.com

NOLAbridealmost

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I don't see anything wrong with this idea as long as you won't get bent out of shape if people miss the wedding because they weren't aware that it was going to be a wedding.

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posted at 2/6/2012 9:46 PM EST on theknot.com

RetreadBride

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Surprise weddings don't offend people (or Knotties). It's the weddings that really aren't a wedding because the couple snuck off somewhere and is already married that we hate. Lies for a gift grab, in other words.

This occasion does not apply.

"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."

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posted at 2/8/2012 5:05 PM EST on theknot.com

Kellykins12

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A co-worker of my fiance did this last summer as their "engagement party" and it was delightful. Their only complaint was from her mom who said she wished she'd gotten her hair fixed. We sent a card afterwards, we were already semi-dressed up because it was an engagement party and they had disposable cameras so I wasn't upset I'd forgotten mine at home.
A couple from my high school also pulled a surprise wedding at their "ten year anniversary", the groom invited everyone they thought he was going to surprise her by proposing and instead they got hitched. It was all people talked about at our reunion a few months later.

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posted at 2/8/2012 7:21 PM EST on theknot.com

RetreadBride

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Nothing about this is a breach of etiquette.

"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."

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posted at 2/12/2012 4:38 PM EST on theknot.com

smartlypretty

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I think it honestly depends on the couple and the circumstances. I had a cousin get engaged and plan a co-ed bridal shower. It was outside with tents and tons of food and the day was just so wonderful. Everyone kept telling my cousin (seriously like 10 people told them) that they should have just had an officiant come over and do the wedding that day! It would have worked.

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