Am I crazy for FREAKING over this???

traybay88 · February 2012

I sort of feel foolish for asking this but since your all bride's - I am hoping you understand.

I just found out that there IS NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHER ALLOWED IN OUR CHURCH!!! We have to STAGE all of our pictures before hand or after -

I get one picture at the back of the pews of me walking down the Isle. But but but but..... Ummmm... excuse me???? I am freaking out - I want real honest to goodness faces and emotions in this pictures!! The photographer can be on the balcony for the rest of the ceremony.

We are doing a first glance photo shot with me and Fiance - now even more as I really want to capture his facial expression when he sees me for the first time in my dress.

So, what I am asking - would any of you be upset about this, clearly I've never been to a wedding at our Church, I am not going to change where we are having the wedding since its our Church, but really no pictures???

NcsuPsych · February 2012

I know it sucks, but a lot of churches have these kind of rules. The ceremony is seen as a religious time, not a time for photo ops.

If you've got a skilled photographer, they'll still be able to get amazing pictures from the balcony.

VeggieLove1022 · February 2012

I wouldn't have my wedding there and take my money somewhere else. Those pictures were worth the deposit to me if you've already signed a contract.

ETA: I didn't see where you said you didn't want to change venues. Someone else had this same thing come up a week or so ago so it is heard of. I guess you just tell your photog ahead of time to make sure he can get good shots from somewhere else.

traybay88 · February 2012

My photographer is an "up & coming" she's good, but I don't think she is the best by any means. Her work is great but I think I would have picked a more skilled photography if I knew she was going to be in the balcony.

I totally agree with this " know it sucks, but a lot of churches have these kind of rules. The ceremony is seen as a religious time, not a time for photo ops. "

NcsuPsych · February 2012

tray, is there any way to see if your photographer could maybe do some 'test' shots or something before your wedding? Like, perhaps go to the church and you and your FI stand where you would to get married and she be in the balcony, to see how the pictures come out?

You'll more than likely still get a few shots from down on the first floor. I've been to a few weddings where guests are asked not to use their cameras during the ceremony and they still did. . . Maybe you could make a photosite where you guests can upload any wedding pictures they may take, so that you get to see all of them? (I hope that makes sense)

emarston1 · February 2012

This is actually quite common because as PP pointed out, it's a religious ceremony and flash photography is prohibited from the sanctuary. It is what it is. A skilled photography should be able to get shots without the use of a flash.

I would give your photographer the heads up and maybe she can practice in the meantime since you said she's just starting out.

pgcp · February 2012

My daughter is a photographer. She rarely uses a flash, preferring to use natural light to better capture the moment. This shouldn't be a problem. With the right lens your photographer will be able to capture the wedding just fine.

traybay88 · February 2012

Thanks everyone! That helped me feel better.

We are going to try and get into the Church during a weekday (at some point in the next 6 months) so we can try some pratice shots and see how they turn out.

I also love the idea of using a website where my guests can post photo's they took. Hmm.. anyone know if Google Pisca does that?? I know that shutterfly does..

vexie · February 2012

Our photographer didn't use a flash during the ceremony. There wasn't any rule against it... but I actually don't recall flashes being used at any wedding I've attended. It would be so disruptive! Can you imagine getting blinded by a flash while walking up the aisle? A good photographer will be able to adjust their equipment and get great shots.

traybay88 · February 2012

Let me change my wording around... I mean NO, NO photographer -- UNLESS SHE"S on the balcony. The only pictures I am going to get are the back of our heads, as the balcony is behind us.

So its not FLASH photograpy it's all PHOTOGRAPHY

GeauxTigers17 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_am-crazy-freaking-over-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a9f3d99f-105b-4106-b4f0-1895e77ed86fPost:44004b81-fabb-401d-aede-0f6e2dad2f67">Re: Am I crazy for FREAKING over this???</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks everyone! That helped me feel better. We are going to try and get into the Church during a weekday (at some point in the next 6 months) so we can try some pratice shots and see how they turn out. <strong>I also love the idea of using a website where my guests can post photo's they took. Hmm.. anyone know if Google Pisca does that?? I know that shutterfly does..</strong>
Posted by traybay88[/QUOTE]

<div>Just an FYI - my church has the same rules yours did and they were also very strict about guests taking photos. Just wanted to warn you before you get your hopes up about having photos of the ceremony from your guests. </div>

Starfish0116 · February 2012

I photographed one wedding that did not allow any photography at all. I was able to take a shot of the bride walking in with her dad, and that was it. All other shots had to be staged after the fact.

The majority of our weddings here are outside, but my last church wedding was very strict with photography. They allowed the bride walking in with her dad, and then nothing else until the end of the ceremony. I had my second shooter get the entrance shot so I could already be up in the balcony. Technically I was not supposed to be shooting until their kiss and exit. Luckily, I had a cougher in the audience Every time. he would cough, I would shoot.

I rarely use flash anyway, so that wasn't a big deal. For me, I feel like the camera shutter is louder than it really is. When asked, my second shooter (nor any guests, I knew some personally) could hear me shooting in the balcony.

That being said, I personally would not choose any venue that didn't allow photography at all. Sacred or not, the photos are important to me. My wedding is outside, so thankfully I don't have to deal with that.

em01092 · February 2012

My photographer uses flash free and shutter (noise) free photography during weddings. He also uses a special lense that allows him to zoom in rather closely on the B&G without being all up their/the pastor's face, so he can be a few pews back or even towards the back of the church (ours is very small). Like PPs said, this is because constant clicking and flashing lights are very distracting for everyone and many officiants feel it takes away from the holiness of the act.

This is a pretty common thing, so just talk to your photographer as well as your officiant to get everything worked out. Hopefully you can come to an agreement.

heb557 · February 2012

The church didn't tell you this when you went in to meet with them? As it's not unheard of I would be upset. Photographers are expensive and thats why you pay them, to capture every moment of your wedding.

However, since the deed is already done I would just take the most proactive approach like PP said see if you and the photog can get into the church before your wedding date and mock up the photos see how they turn out.

GL!

NcsuPsych · February 2012

Starfish, I would be a bit more careful on how you word things. Once you out yourself, theres not really an 'undo' button.

emarston1 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_am-crazy-freaking-over-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a9f3d99f-105b-4106-b4f0-1895e77ed86fPost:a1a9dc53-8c10-4119-b1bf-41d7b2305e9e">Re: Am I crazy for FREAKING over this???</a>:
[QUOTE]Starfish, I would be a bit more careful on how you word things. Once you out yourself, theres not really an 'undo' button.
Posted by NcsuPsych[/QUOTE]
This. Vendors aren't allowed to post on the boards under any circumstances. You've outed yourself as a vendor and there's no way to put the cat back in the bag.

sunnydays630 · February 2012

FI's church is the same way. Like the others said, your photographer will still be able to get pictures. Its just that a flash can't be used. Is there a lot of natural light in your church? Natural light makes for better pictures, in my opinion.

MakenziLea · February 2012

Most churches won't allow this. My church doesn't either. My photographer is awesome and I have the benefit of seeing photos he's shot for a wedding at the same church before. So I'm not in the least bit worried as I was before. If you have an experienced photographer...they should already know how to deal with situations like this. I'm sure it's not that uncommon for them. Best of luck to you!

sara814 · February 2012

I am an amateur photographer, and I have been able to shoot inside without a flash (I actually never use a flash, inside or out because I like the natural light photography look). You might ask your photographer if she has a zoom lens, or if she can borrow one. Sometimes photographers are willing to share their lenses with their friends (I know this because my friends have loaned me insanely expensive lenses for my hobby!). If she's a good photographer, she'll know that a zoom lens might not be appropriate for a low-light indoor setting, and she might have to play with the aperture and shutter settings to get some kind of shot for you (using a tripod would be best, in my experience). It could be possible for her to get some of the ceremony if she is allowed to practice and experiment beforehand (just be aware that if you are having a ceremony in the morning, the lighting will be different than if it is in the afternoon, etc. or if it is very sunny or very overcast, so try to have her practice during the anticipated time of day and be prepared for conditions to change!)

Personally, I don't like it when I go to a wedding and the photographer is kind of winding around the bride and groom trying to capture the moment. I feel like it takes away from the specialness of that instant. You'll always remember it in your heart, and in your memory, and it is really your memory that is most important.

Budnotes · February 2012

Yup - I'd be pretty pissed. We had so many restrictions in our church as well. We were only allowed 30 minutes after our wedding for pictures (and boy did they have that stopwatch going). We could not have a receiving line at the church and we could not have anything as the bride/groom left the church - no flower petals, no rice, no birdseed, no bubbles, NOTHING. It was really frustrating. I hope everything works out! Good luck!

jfrazie6 · February 2012

I had the same freak out moment when I found out that my church didn't allow flash and my photographer has to be in the balcony. It's definetly a trade off if you truly want to get married in a church. I was really upset at first, but then I found out that almost all churches are like this and they can still get great photos from the balcony. I never even knew most of my friends photos from were taken from the balcony. It will be okay!

traybay88 · February 2012

Thanks again ladies! It is going to be okay. I know it will be, but I am glad I wouldn't be the only one thinking about it.

Am I crazy for FREAKING over this???

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