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Braging on my FI

vlizzvlizz member
100 Comments
in Chit Chat
My FI is in a bowling league on Tuesday nights. And since we are long distance, I'll visit for a couple days at a time when I can, and so I have gone to watch him bowl a few times. A couple days ago I was there, and someone on the team that his team was bowling agents had been talking to me and making me uncomfortable. My FI noticed that the guy was talking to me, so he pulled me aside to make sure I was ok. After he knew what was going on, when it wasn't his turn to bowl, he hovered over me the rest of the night.

He makes me feel so safe. I love him!!
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Re: Braging on my FI

  • KariL22KariL22
    10 Comments
    If the above comment isn't sarcasm, I think she meant "bowling against". lol
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  • vixeyvixey member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    Between braging and bowling agents...this was painful.  Also, I don't think an overbearing FI who doesn't like other guys talking to you at a bowling alley is worth "braging" about.
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  • vlizzvlizz member
    100 Comments
    well I'm sorry if between dyslexia and spell check I have offended you ladies.
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  • jeanna85jeanna85 member
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_braging-fi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ffbfb52b-d63e-4965-bba2-11c07b1e26f2Post:e2a00ee8-2c3e-4f3f-8b48-ec66e4536e38">Re: Braging on my FI</a>:
    [QUOTE]well I'm sorry if between dyslexia and spell check I have offended you ladies.
    Posted by LizzyShotswell[/QUOTE]

    Honestly, that story sounded pretty pathetic. You send helpless like you can't take care of yourself. I wouldn't be bragging about that.
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  • mkruparmkrupar member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Yeah, I don't like Lucas to "hover" around me. If this guy wasn't doing anything harmful, I would have told the guy to just leave me alone myself. If the guy was being disrespectful, then yeah, I would expect him to step in, but not to hover for the rest of the evening. That's not protective, that's jealousy and being overbearing.
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  • amber2123amber2123 member
    100 Comments

    If I was just talking to some guy and Sugar walked up and pulled me aside to see if I was okay, I might flip shitt. 

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  • megk8ozmegk8oz member
    2500 Comments
    edited November 2010
    I will say, I wouldn't have minded DH coming over to see if I needed assistance with telling a guy to buzz off ... if it was clear I was having a hard time getting him to go away. But, I am pretty damn good at doing that myself, so it probably never would have gotten to that level in the first place.

    That being said, if he then proceeded to "hover" over me for the rest of the night so everybody present could see "This is my woman. Stay away", I would have been annoyed to no end. I'm a grown woman, I can take care of myself, thanks.

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  • redheadfsuredheadfsu member
    2500 Comments
    The hovering is an issue, not something to brag about. Sounds like you can't stand up for yourself & he is overprotective. This type of thing is a red flag, not a good thing.

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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_braging-fi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:ffbfb52b-d63e-4965-bba2-11c07b1e26f2Post:e2a00ee8-2c3e-4f3f-8b48-ec66e4536e38">Re: Braging on my FI</a>:
    [QUOTE]well I'm sorry if between dyslexia and spell check I have offended you ladies.
    Posted by LizzyShotswell[/QUOTE]

    Have you seriously been diagnosed dyslexic?  If not, don't throw around disorders that some people on these boards are actually afflicted with. 

    Your OP is just disturbing.  Being proud about your FI being controlling and hovering over you because another man talked to you is very frightening.  That means he has jealousy and control issues, not that he's "protecting" you.  So posting a thread like this and calling it "brag[g]ing on my FI" makes me shudder to think that there are actually girls out there who like that type of behavior.  And it also makes me think that you are about 18, because thats something a child would be happy about. 
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Sorry, but I'm with the others here.  Are you really incapable of saying to someone "Have you met my FI?  He's the guy that's up bowling now."  I wouldn't be proud of being unable to stand up for myself, and I know I wouldn't be braging [sic] that my FI is so controlling of my behavior that he doesn't trust me around other men.

    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • ElleanaElleana member
    10 Comments
    Geeez... Someone's in a bad mood... Undecided

    Well, I'm not here to judge.

    If it made you happy I'm glad for you! And don't stop bragging how nice he makes you feel or you think he is. You're in love!

    Best wishes for you both! ;)
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  • redheadfsuredheadfsu member
    2500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_braging-fi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:ffbfb52b-d63e-4965-bba2-11c07b1e26f2Post:301fe2fa-6c40-4af1-9be1-76067a8849fb">Re: Braging on my FI</a>:
    [QUOTE]Geeez... Someone's in a bad mood...  Well, I'm not here to judge. If it made you happy I'm glad for you! And don't stop bragging how nice he makes you feel or you think he is. You're in love! Best wishes for you both! ;)
    Posted by Elleana[/QUOTE]

    We responded the way we did because this is a red flag. This could be a sign that her relationship is unhealthy & could develop into a abusive/ controlling/ emotionally unstable relationship. I'm sorry, but I think it is irresponsible to validate signs of a possible abusive situation.

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  • twihard08twihard08
    10 Comments
    Wowza! Hhherrmm. Im on the fence with this one!
    Of course jealousy and over-protectiveness (??) are red flags and not things that should be taken lightly. Because a few wise knotties told me before that they aren't going to change once you get married, it's just going to continue or get worse.

    But on the other hand it is good that you feel safe and protected by him. Because no one who is engaged should feel unprotected or not safe with their man.

    :) Best wishes for you and don't take it too personal what these older/other knotties are saying. They are wise, and they did the same thing to me...only I got it worse off than you did! So find something to learn from this and don't dwell on it! And definitely keep posting so you can get more/better advice from other/older knotties! :) ((That's why I still post, to get different opinions and views on things I might not think of!))

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  • LD1970LD1970 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Huh.  I'd have told the FI to take a hike.
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  • kellyjellybellykellyjellybelly
    5000 Comments
    Hehehe beachy is old. :P
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Kellyjelly:  I am so crazy about the photo of your doggie.  We are boxer lovers in our house:  we had one, my DD and her DH now have one, and my son and DIL have one.  And yours is tooooooooooooo cute for words.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Eh, he's alright.



    JK, thats for the old comment.
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  • kellyjellybellykellyjellybelly
    5000 Comments
    Dude, I know I'm older than you.
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  • vlizzvlizz member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_braging-fi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ffbfb52b-d63e-4965-bba2-11c07b1e26f2Post:1b75f6c4-f534-45d4-a04e-cdb62d98b922">Re: Braging on my FI</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Braging on my FI : <strong> Have you seriously been diagnosed dyslexic</strong>?  If not, don't throw around disorders that some people on these boards are actually afflicted with.  
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]




    Yes actually I have.
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  • vixeyvixey member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited November 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_braging-fi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ffbfb52b-d63e-4965-bba2-11c07b1e26f2Post:6c0e29e6-23f5-4101-84c1-71fca3abb86a">Re: Braging on my FI</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow, I didn't realize there are so many people on this thread who know the OP and her fiance personally! Why else would they talk about their relationship like they've seen it firsthand? Some women like to feel protected. Some like to deal with problems themselves. Conversely, some men like to protect their fiances. Some like to let their fiancee's deal with a situation themselves. None of these are wrong, or raise "red flags." Hearing about one instance of this girl's relationship doesn't mean you know that this is a warning sign. You all have no idea if he has control issues, or if he's overbearing. Chances are, he saw how uncomfortable she was when he was talking to her, and he wanted to stay close to keep the other guy away.
    Posted by nessalen3[/QUOTE]
    She only posted this one instance, and basically invited discussion about it.  What else would we do with some random post submitted about an event at a bowling alley?

    If she doesn't want us talking about her relationship with her FI, then she shouldn't post about it.
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  • vixeyvixey member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_braging-fi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ffbfb52b-d63e-4965-bba2-11c07b1e26f2Post:dfd6ac53-367a-4b3d-ac8b-8654352f48f7">Re: Braging on my FI</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Braging on my FI : She said that she was feeling uncomfortable around the man that was talking to her, which means that this was not really a red flag issue. If I couldn't get another man to leave me the heck alone I would def want FI by my side until that guy was gone.
    Posted by SarahElizabeth523[/QUOTE]
    She never said anything about trying to get away, or trying to get him to leave her alone.  She just said that some guy was talking to her and it made her uncomfortable.  You shouldn't need a man to come rescue you at the first sign of uncomfortableness. 

    And I think it was the "hovered around all night" part that was the most concerning.
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  • ErinG93ErinG93 member
    2500 Comments
    Nessalen3, I agree totally. I don't think anyone knows her or her FI personally, so how could we possibly see any red flags? Her original post was meant in a completely harmless and fun way, so I am going to treat it that way.

    OP: I think it's great that you feel secure and protected around your FI. I also think it's very cool that he bowls, that could be a life-long hobby for you two! :)
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