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need advice dry wedding

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need advice dry wedding

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My fiance and myself are having a dry wedding for personal reasons and we are recieving a lot of negative feedback from my parents.....who are paying for the wedding. How can I ask them to respect my

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Chit Chat

need advice dry wedding

Celeb gossip, sports, TV, fashion? Take a break from wedding planning on the Chit Chat board.

My fiance and myself are having a dry wedding for personal reasons and we are recieving a lot of negative feedback from my parents.....who are paying for the wedding. How can I ask them to respect my

Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14

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Forums > Wedding Boards > Chit Chat > need advice dry wedding

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need advice dry wedding

posted at 2/9/2012 12:03 AM EST on theknot.com

chrissyspi21

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First: 12/22/2011

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My fiance and myself are having a dry wedding for personal reasons and we are recieving a lot of negative feedback from my parents.....who are paying for the wedding. How can I ask them to respect my wishes without being ungrateful?

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Re: need advice dry wedding

posted at 2/9/2012 12:28 AM EST on theknot.com

sparkles776

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Unfortunately, if your parents are footing the bill, they should have some say in the matter. You can ask them to respect your wishes, or you can try to compromise. Maybe at least do a champagne toast or something.

{June 2013 Furbabies} Major

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Re: need advice dry wedding

posted at 2/9/2012 12:38 AM EST on theknot.com

RebeccaB88

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Decline their funds and pay for the wedding yourself. Or compromise on this one thing with them and let them serve beer and wine, or a couple of signature cocktails.

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Re: need advice dry wedding

posted at 2/9/2012 1:28 AM EST on theknot.com

tortaweeni

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Since your parents are paying for the wedding they get some say in the matter. I talk with your fiance and decied how big of a deal it is to have a alcohol at your wedding. Jus because it is there does not mean you have to drink it. If you two decied it is a big deal to have a dry wedding then talk with your parents and tell them how you feel. If they insist on haveing alcohol then just ask the if they are okay with only having a champagene toast. It seems like a fair compromise to me. But remeber if you dont have to drink it if it is there. Please let me know if you need any more help or have any more questions. I am a new Wedding and event Planner and would love to help. You can find me at CelebraTory Events on Facebook or email me at toryostic@hotmail.com.
Good luck!

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Re: need advice dry wedding

posted at 2/9/2012 6:58 AM EST on theknot.com

emarston1

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In Response to Re: need advice dry wedding:

Since your parents are paying for the wedding they get some say in the matter. I talk with your fiance and decied how big of a deal it is to have a alcohol at your wedding. Jus because it is there does not mean you have to drink it. If you two decied it is a big deal to have a dry wedding then talk with your parents and tell them how you feel. If they insist on haveing alcohol then just ask the if they are okay with only having a champagene toast. It seems like a fair compromise to me. But remeber if you dont have to drink it if it is there. Please let me know if you need any more help or have any more questions. I am a new Wedding and event Planner and would love to help. You can find me at **name removed** on Facebook or email me at **emailed removed**. Good luck!
Posted by tortaweeni

Vendors are not allowed to post on the boards. You've been reported for promoting your own business.

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Re: need advice dry wedding

posted at 2/9/2012 8:04 AM EST on theknot.com

LetsHikeToday

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Honestly, of your parents are paying and they would like there to be alcohol, then I think they should be able to provide it. Why don't you guys want to have alcohol?

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Re: need advice dry wedding

posted at 2/9/2012 8:50 AM EST on theknot.com

zitiqueen

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Last: 5/23/2012

In Response to need advice dry wedding:

My fiance and myself are having a dry wedding for personal reasons and we are recieving a lot of negative feedback from my parents.....who are paying for the wedding. How can I ask them to respect my wishes without being ungrateful?
Posted by chrissyspi21

You can't. You can, however, pay for your own wedding. Then you get to call all the shots.

fiancee = vag ** fiance = peen ** Babies shouldn't be born with jobs ** **They're called first loves for a reason -- more are supposed to come after. You don't get a medal for marrying your prom date. Unless you're imoan. Then you get an all-expenses paid cruise to the Mediterranean and you get to meet Jared Padalecki on the flight over while wearing your jammies. But still no medal. **

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Re: need advice dry wedding

posted at 2/9/2012 9:08 AM EST on theknot.com

MyNameIsNot

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If they are paying, this is their decision. If a dry wedding is that important to you, you'll need to decline their money and pay for it yourself.

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Re: need advice dry wedding

posted at 2/9/2012 9:47 AM EST on theknot.com

djhar

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I would probably sit down with them and explain your reasons for wanting a dry wedding. If they insist on alcohol, then you can make a choice of which is more important to you - having the wedding be dry or having the wedding paid for.

If you do decide it's a big enough deal and they won't budge and you decide to pay yourself, be mentally prepared that this might really hurt their feelings. I would keep that in mind going in.

My Blog

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Re: need advice dry wedding

posted at 2/9/2012 10:17 AM EST on theknot.com

ElleB87

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I do agree with PP's that if your parents are paying it's their decision. If alcohol makes you and your FI uncomfortable you can suggest serving just beer and wine or a signature drink like Rebecca said and explain to your parents your reasons for not wanting any alcohol at all but if you're not contributing financially you're really just along for the ride.

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Re: need advice dry wedding

posted at 2/9/2012 12:01 PM EST on theknot.com

ILoveMilkDuds

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In Response to Re: need advice dry wedding:

thank you for all of the advice, I don't want to create a huge fuss and I am unable to pay for the reception myself. The majority of the addendants would rather there be no alchol, and even some that do have stated that they would respect my wish of choosing not to have it. However my parents are not budging and I'm starting to be made out the bad guy. hopefully it all works itself out :/
Posted by chrissyspi21

Stop talking to your guests about their preference for it being there or not being there. It's not up to them. Your parents obviously see providing alcohol as the proper thing for them to do as hosts.

You don't have the drink the alcohol. The guests who don't want to don't have to drink.

Since you can't afford to pay for things on your own right now, you need to make the decision on accepting the wedding reception your parents wish to host, or postponing the wedding and saving money to pay for it on your own.

Married Bio

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Re: need advice dry wedding

posted at 2/9/2012 12:08 PM EST on theknot.com

NcsuPsych

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In Response to Re: need advice dry wedding:

In Response to Re: need advice dry wedding : Stop talking to your guests about their preference for it being there or not being there. It's not up to them. Your parents obviously see providing alcohol as the proper thing for them to do as hosts. You don't have the drink the alcohol. The guests who don't want to don't have to drink. Since you can't afford to pay for things on your own right now, you need to make the decision on accepting the wedding reception your parents wish to host, or postponing the wedding and saving money to pay for it on your own.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds

Agreed. I personally would find it rude if a guest of mine told me they weren't excited about our reception (or anything along those lines) simply because the host of the wedding wanted drinks. If its only a minority of people drinking, I honestly don't see what the huge deal is, especially since your parents are footing the bill.

Either compromise with your parents, or pay for your own wedding.

"I always take life with a grain of salt... plus a slice of lemon... and a shot of tequila."

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Re: need advice dry wedding

posted at 2/9/2012 12:15 PM EST on theknot.com

zitiqueen

Joined on
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BOSTON

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Posts: 3218

First: 7/22/2009

Last: 5/23/2012

In Response to Re: need advice dry wedding:

thank you for all of the advice, I don't want to create a huge fuss and I am unable to pay for the reception myself. The majority of the addendants would rather there be no alchol, and even some that do have stated that they would respect my wish of choosing not to have it. However my parents are not budging and I'm starting to be made out the bad guy. hopefully it all works itself out :/
Posted by chrissyspi21

I can't believe you're tattling to your guests about this. This is exactly none of their business.

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Re: need advice dry wedding

posted at 2/9/2012 1:35 PM EST on theknot.com

Rachel405

Joined on
02-06-2012
BALTIMORE

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Posts: 320

First: 2/8/2012

Last: 5/16/2012

My fiance and I both don't drink, and we're paying for the wedding ourselves so we have decided not to provide alcohol. Also, it's a Sunday afternoon so kind of different than a Saturday night party IMHO. But, our venue has a cash bar so if people really, really want to drink that bad they can go get it themselves. Not in love with the idea of a cash bar, but also not in love with the idea of paying for the alcohol I'm not even going to drink.

If your parents are paying for the wedding then I would do everything you can to appease them, even if it means making compromises. I would LOVE to have parents helping, but that's just not my situation. Good luck.