NWR - Gender Reveal

cwaggoner07 · June 2012

So I'm going to a gender reveal party tomorrow, and I've been to one before, but this one is a little different. This time, the parents know the sex, but they're doing cupcakes to 'surprise' everyone else.
Is this not kind of weird? I feel like the point is to see the reaction of the two people who will be most affected by the news. The fact that mom and dad already know takes some of the pizzazz out (to me).
Thoughts?

kikirst33 · June 2012

Um....ew. I'm a bit older and most of my friends are beyond the baby age but this just seems odd to me. Been to plenty of baby showers where we were told the gender but a "reveal party"? Strange....

kaos16 · June 2012

I have never heard of a gender reveal party. Is it in conjunction with a shower? Do you bring gifts?

rlavach · June 2012

Oh wow, that is NOT the type of party I thought from reading the heading. I've never heard of that.

cwaggoner07 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_nwr-gender-reveal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ae898265-681a-4f91-a43a-f5d698fd0a7bPost:04ddb501-f2fa-43c1-926a-ec8324c99133">Re: NWR - Gender Reveal</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh wow, that is NOT the type of party I thought from reading the heading. I've never heard of that.
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

Bahahha OK they are fairly common in Texas. Typically what you do is when you go to your 5 month appointment where you would typically find out the sex, the doctor instead puts it in an envelope and seals it. Then the couple takes it to a bakery, and tells the bakery they want a cake that is completely frosted, but the inside of the cake should be made blue or pink depending on which sex it is. At the party, the parents slice open the cake to reveal the sex.
It's not a shower, and you definitely don't bring gifts. When I went, it was just a BBQ at their house, and then we had dessert last. You don't even really play games I don't think.
Here is a link:
<a href="http://feministing.com/2012/04/26/are-gender-reveal-parties-necessarily-retrograde/" rel="nofollow">http://feministing.com/2012/04/26/are-gender-reveal-parties-necessarily-retrograde/</a>

I really enjoyed the one I went to... but the parents didn't know so it was fun to see their reaction.

OBX2011 · June 2012

I thought it was like a sex-change reveal party or something. I asked my co-worker and she busted out laughing....and later explained what it really was.

I think I am on the fence with this one. While it's great to see mom & dad's reaction along with everyone else, I also think there is another element of the surprise that mom & dad already know so that they can really enjoy seeing the reaction on everyone else's face.

I know that my SIL kept it a secret until our nephew was born and while it drove all of us crazy at the time b/c of the excitement, is was 100% worth the surprise finding out the day of her delivery.
I plan on keeping it a secret as well

rlavach · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_nwr-gender-reveal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ae898265-681a-4f91-a43a-f5d698fd0a7bPost:1f463941-cb8b-4ed9-bafc-ac484123a362">Re: NWR - Gender Reveal</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR - Gender Reveal : Bahahha OK they are fairly common in Texas. Typically what you do is when you go to your 5 month appointment where you would typically find out the sex, the doctor instead puts it in an envelope and seals it. Then the couple takes it to a bakery, and tells the bakery they want a cake that is completely frosted, but the inside of the cake should be made blue or pink depending on which sex it is. At the party, the parents slice open the cake to reveal the sex. It's not a shower, and you definitely don't bring gifts. When I went, it was just a BBQ at their house, and then we had dessert last. You don't even really play games I don't think. Here is a link: <a href="http://feministing.com/2012/04/26/are-gender-reveal-parties-necessarily-retrograde/" rel="nofollow">http://feministing.com/2012/04/26/are-gender-reveal-parties-necessarily-retrograde/</a> I really enjoyed the one I went to... but the parents didn't know so it was fun to see their reaction.
Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]
I thought it was a sex-change party too. You Southeners are weird. :)

OBX2011 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_nwr-gender-reveal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:ae898265-681a-4f91-a43a-f5d698fd0a7bPost:246f78ee-75de-4f87-940d-2cab44e0f594">Re: NWR - Gender Reveal</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR - Gender Reveal : I thought it was a sex-change party too. You Southeners are weird. :)
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

Only when it's a full moon though ;)

cwaggoner07 · June 2012

All the parties I have heard of, the parents don't know.
When I first heard of these parties they seemed kind of indulgent and 'look at me', but when you think about it, there are no presents, and it's just an excuse to have a get-together for dinner with a fun twist for dessert.

Of course, I'm not finding out the sex of my baby at all. I'm a hippie like that...

Summer2011Bride · June 2012

I've heard of them because one of our friends did it (we didn't go; they only invited family), but the parents knew ahead of time and then surprised their parents/siblings/gparents with the sex. I like it better where the parents don't know either--that makes more sense.

pillsburyaj · June 2012

Our good friends are doing this next weekend actually. I had heard of these parties before but the parents find out when everyone else does. Our friends are doing the same as your friends --finding out at the appointment and then making/ordering cake pops to "reveal" the gender. I think it is mostly because my friend is A)Too excited B)Kind-of anal

ETA: I agree that is takes the "pizzaz" out

brittneyh4 · June 2012

People bring gifts to the ones we have here.. which I think is weird, because how are we supposed to know the gender? They're really overdone here if they are done at all. It's like a baby shower.. but then they have an actual shower later.

Every one I've been to the parents have known, except for one. The dad knew, mom didn't, and she was the one being surprised with the cupcake. It was a total disaster. Dad was jazzed, it was a boy, but this was their fourth boy. She'd desperately wanted a girl, and ended up spending the next hour (or two) in her bathroom with her sister and mother in a huge sob fest. It was really awkward.

cwaggoner07 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_nwr-gender-reveal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ae898265-681a-4f91-a43a-f5d698fd0a7bPost:87033846-d6b7-49f1-a5a7-bc6802396264">Re: NWR - Gender Reveal</a>:
[QUOTE]. She'd desperately wanted a girl, and ended up spending the next hour (or two) in her bathroom with her sister and mother in a huge sob fest. It was really awkward.
Posted by brittneyh4[/QUOTE]

I would never have a gender reveal party if I wanted one sex over the other. My friends that had the party a few months ago want 2 kids, one boy and one girl (didn't care which order). They said they wouldn't have a reveal for the second child because if she was disappointed she didn't want to have to fake it.

HobokensFury · June 2012

It's incredibly attention whorish.

Summer2011Bride · June 2012

I guess I don't mind them if its not a huge ass party, KWIM? Like if you're telling people ahead of time what the gender is, you'll want to tell your parents and immediate family anyways. I guess I'm picturing more of a family dinner with both sets of parents, siblings and maybe grandparents. Doing something like the cake or cupcake with colored filling would be kind of cute to tell immediate family IMO. But I don't know that I'd want a huge 50 person party for something like this.

Kindachewy · June 2012

I would love to do the type where I don't know until I cut the cake, I think its cute

angelsong21 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_nwr-gender-reveal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ae898265-681a-4f91-a43a-f5d698fd0a7bPost:15d50807-256e-4f84-8ecd-460bf3529a95">Re: NWR - Gender Reveal</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR - Gender Reveal : And yet, it's an excuse to eat cake. I can get behind that.
Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This is where I'm at! Yeah, it's a little AWish, but I do love cake, especially if no gifts are required. If they were asking for gifts, that would be a little too much for me. I definitely don't think the parents should know before the party either - that seems like the point of the whole thing. I didn't realize gender reveal parties were only common in certain areas, so its interesting to read all of the responses here!

</div>

whitneymarie504 · June 2012

I'm a midwestern Wisconsinite and had NEVER heard of this but now I think it's an awesome idea and I think I'd like to have one when we have a baby! I think not finding out until we cut the cake with our immediate family sounds like a great way to find out & like PP mentioned it is of course a great excuse to eat cake!!! I can also understand where if you definately are hoping for one sex over the other (2nd or 3rd child) it would not be such a great idea but for a 1st baby I really think this sounds like fun

goobersinlove · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_nwr-gender-reveal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ae898265-681a-4f91-a43a-f5d698fd0a7bPost:1f463941-cb8b-4ed9-bafc-ac484123a362">Re: NWR - Gender Reveal</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR - Gender Reveal : Bahahha OK they are fairly common in Texas. <strong>Typically what you do is when you go to your 5 month appointment where you would typically find out the sex, the doctor instead puts it in an envelope and seals it. Then the couple takes it to a bakery, and tells the bakery they want a cake that is completely frosted, but the inside of the cake should be made blue or pink depending on which sex it is. At the party, the parents slice open the cake to reveal the sex. It's not a shower, and you definitely don't bring gifts. When I went, it was just a BBQ at their house, and then we had dessert last. You don't even really play games I don't think. </strong>Here is a link: <a href="http://feministing.com/2012/04/26/are-gender-reveal-parties-necessarily-retrograde/" rel="nofollow">http://feministing.com/2012/04/26/are-gender-reveal-parties-necessarily-retrograde/</a> I really enjoyed the one I went to... but the parents didn't know so it was fun to see their reaction.
Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]

I think that's an adorable idea and <em>[[if we decide to have kids]]</em> I think I might do that. Sounds way more fun and special than having the ultrasound tech just tell you right there on the table.

I agree that it definetly takes a lot of the fun and excitement away if the parents already know. :-/

To me it doesn't seem AW-ish if it's an intimate gathering of your immediate family/friends that are excited for you -- the grandparents-to-be, the aunts/uncles-to-be, your very best friends. But inviting tons of people would be a little odd.

JordynLeighx3 · June 2012

I've been to one where both parents knew. They asked us to come wearing the color shirt of what gender we thought it would be. It was still just as exciting to watch them watch OUR reactions to cutting the cake. I don't find anything "attention whoreish" about celebrating a new member of the family. And if you find it to be that way, you always have the option to decline the invitation.

lb1212 · June 2012

I'm planning in the far-off future (like in 3-4 years) to do have a reveal party. FI daughter lives about 3 hrs away with her mom and chances are slim that she would be able to attend the sonogram. We'd only invite our parents over one weekend and all find out together.

It's nice to be able to tell everyone at the same time without worrying about the hurt feelings over who found out first.

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