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Selecting your Bridal Party

Customs and Traditions

Selecting your Bridal Party

Ask questions or share your ideas about incorporating cultures and heritage into your wedding.

So I'm newly engaged (Christmas Eve!), and my fiance and I just started talking about wedding things over the weekend.  We're not getting married until next year (Spring 2013).  For my side,

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Customs and Traditions

Selecting your Bridal Party

Ask questions or share your ideas about incorporating cultures and heritage into your wedding.

So I'm newly engaged (Christmas Eve!), and my fiance and I just started talking about wedding things over the weekend.  We're not getting married until next year (Spring 2013).  For my side,

Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36

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Forums > Wedding Boards > Customs and Traditions > Selecting your Bridal Party

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Selecting your Bridal Party

posted at 2/6/2012 10:59 AM EST on theknot.com

TinyDancer06

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So I'm newly engaged (Christmas Eve!), and my fiance and I just started talking about wedding things over the weekend. We're not getting married until next year (Spring 2013). For my side, I have selected my life long friend as my MOH, and have 4 bridesmaids, including one relative (cousin). My fiance thinks that is wayy too many, he has only selected one best man, and two groomsmen. I told him that I would like my brother in the wedding, and he freaked out and said no. I told my fiance that if he had any female relatives or close people he wanted in the wedding, that I would put them in the bridal party, but he doesn't have any one. So now what? Do I have too many people on my side? He's trying to tell me the average is three (one MOH/BM and 2 BMs or GMs). Every wedding I've been in (over 5 at this point) have had anywhere from 4-5 girls in the party. So I have two dilemmas: do I have too many people in my bridal party? How do I handle the fact that my fiance doesn't want my brother on "his side"? My fiance currently has three people selected, and really doesn't have any other friends besides this (and one of the guys is a stretch...we weren't even invited to his wedding). Thoughts? Anyone else in this situation before?

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Re: Selecting your Bridal Party

posted at 2/6/2012 11:04 AM EST on theknot.com

redheadfsu

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1. Your FI picks his side, and you pick yours. You can not tell him who to pick.

2. Your brother can be on your side.

3. Sides don't have to be even

4. You are are asking very early. Usually the guideline is around 8 months. Remember relationships change and who you want now, might change by then. (you can not kick people out. So if you ask too early you are stuck with them).

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Re: Selecting your Bridal Party

posted at 2/6/2012 11:08 AM EST on theknot.com

meganb1977

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Ditto pp, although it sounds like you have "selected" who you want in your wedding party so if you haven't already spoken with anyone to officially ask them you don't need to worry about it quite yet.

Anticipation...Anticipa-a-tion...

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Re: Selecting your Bridal Party

posted at 2/6/2012 12:06 PM EST on theknot.com

Avion22

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In Response to Re: Selecting your Bridal Party:

1. Your FI picks his side, and you pick yours. You can not tell him who to pick. 2. Your brother can be on your side. 3. Sides don't have to be even 4. You are are asking very early. Usually the guideline is around 8 months. Remember relationships change and who you want now, might change by then. (you can not kick people out. So if you ask too early you are stuck with them).
Posted by redheadfsu

All of this, exactly.

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Re: Selecting your Bridal Party

posted at 2/6/2012 6:24 PM EST on theknot.com

Hilraythebride

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You can have your brother stand up on your side.

The sides don't have to be even.

I have 1 MOH and 2BM but I did this mainly to keep it simple and easy. The more people you include the more complicated it gets transportaion and logistically especially if it is and OOT wedding.

Also, you are choosing your bridal party waaaay to early, relationships change and so do people, I would recommend choosing the BP 8 months or so in advance just so the ladies can keep their calender open for WR events.

"A wedding is a day, a marriage is a lifetime"

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Re: Selecting your Bridal Party

posted at 2/6/2012 10:29 PM EST on theknot.com

TinyDancer06

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Ah, crap, then I've selected my wedding party too early then :-/ I've had it figured out for a long time (on my side), as these are all lifelong friends (one relative). I also asked early because one of my best friends is getting married in August 2013, and we're both in each other's weddings and I wanted to make sure we coordinated accordingly and not cause unnecessary stress on each other. And you're right, I can't change it now. But as far as my fiance's side, I'll let him decide if he asks my brother or not, and not let my thoughts sway him.

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Re: Selecting your Bridal Party

posted at 2/7/2012 8:49 PM EST on theknot.com

RetreadBride

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Why does your fiance "have" to ask your brother? He is YOUR brother. Have him stand on YOUR side.

"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."

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Re: Selecting your Bridal Party

posted at 2/11/2012 6:44 PM EST on theknot.com

villeneuve

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i think it is crazy that your fiancee' would tell you "no". He's your brother and its your wedding. He is going to be his brother as well after the ceremony. Sorry but, I think your fianee' is being ridiculous and should consider your feelings.

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