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Cat:Wedding Boards

Bridal Shower

Etiquette

Bridal Shower

No one wants to deal with the etiquette police so let these Knotties help you avoid them. Post your questions for modern advice on etiquette and planning.

Is it ok to throw my own bridal shower?  I want more than just a bachelorette party because I would like my mom and grandma and other family members to participate but I don't think anyone is pla

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Etiquette

Bridal Shower

No one wants to deal with the etiquette police so let these Knotties help you avoid them. Post your questions for modern advice on etiquette and planning.

Is it ok to throw my own bridal shower?  I want more than just a bachelorette party because I would like my mom and grandma and other family members to participate but I don't think anyone is pla

Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9

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Forums > Wedding Boards > Etiquette > Bridal Shower

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Bridal Shower

posted at 2/10/2012 6:40 PM EST on theknot.com

eb1490

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FLORIDAS FIRST COAST

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Is it ok to throw my own bridal shower? I want more than just a bachelorette party because I would like my mom and grandma and other family members to participate but I don't think anyone is planning one. I just wasn't really sure on how all that worked, but I wouldn't mind planning my own shower.

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Re: Bridal Shower

posted at 2/10/2012 6:43 PM EST on theknot.com

PetalPockets201...

Joined on
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Posts: 2642

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Last: 5/24/2012

In Response to Bridal Shower:

No. Showers are a gift and not required. If no one offers to throw you a shower, you don't get to host your own.

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Re: Bridal Shower

posted at 2/10/2012 7:03 PM EST on theknot.com

KaylaMarkMI

Joined on
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GRAND RAPIDS

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Last: 2/11/2012

I would ask someone to go in on one with you.

I know that technically you aren't supposed to throw your own shower. However, many people in my wedding have their own lives and I feel its inappropriate for me to expect them to cover every single thing.

I did my own invites (since I had the guest list and addresses). My bridesmaid is taking care of the decorations, my mom and aunts wanted to do the food, and my other bridesmaid is handling the bachelorette party after. Its been a great experience because no one is overwhelmed by their role and everyone is getting a chance to know each other better (for those who didn't know each other as well initially).

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Re: Bridal Shower

posted at 2/10/2012 7:07 PM EST on theknot.com

hoffse

Joined on
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No. You don't throw your own shower. In many circles, even mothers of the bride don't throw showers because it's gift-grabby on behalf of her daughter. It's REALLY tacky to throw your own.

Your BMs are not required to throw you a shower. Nobody is. That said, anybody but you or your mom CAN throw you one so I don't really get PP's comment about burdening your bridesmaids. My mother's friend is throwing mine.

[url=http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker][img]http://tickers.myfitnesspal.com/ticker/show/2103/2730/21032730.png[/img][/url]

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Re: Bridal Shower

posted at 2/10/2012 7:13 PM EST on theknot.com

whitsy

Joined on
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TENNESSEE

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Last: 5/24/2012

In Response to Re: Bridal Shower:

I would ask someone to go in on one with you. I know that technically you aren't supposed to throw your own shower. However, many people in my wedding have their own lives and I feel its inappropriate for me to expect them to cover every single thing. I did my own invites (since I had the guest list and addresses). My bridesmaid is taking care of the decorations, my mom and aunts wanted to do the food, and my other bridesmaid is handling the bachelorette party after. Its been a great experience because no one is overwhelmed by their role and everyone is getting a chance to know each other better (for those who didn't know each other as well initially).
Posted by KaylaMarkMI

This advice is against etiquette.

You do not throw your own shower. You do not ask someone to throw one for you, or go in with you.

If they offer, yay! If not, it'll be ok. You'll get gifts and cash at the wedding.

Me and pornstar

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Re: Bridal Shower

posted at 2/10/2012 10:29 PM EST on theknot.com

RetreadBride

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Showers are a GIFT, *not* a right.

A bride gets one if someone offers to host one for her. She does not host her own, because it is a severe breach of etiquette to throw a party in your own honor, especially if it involves gifts to her.

If no one offers, then the bride doesn't get a shower. The joy of being married suffices.

"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."

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Re: Bridal Shower

posted at 2/11/2012 12:05 AM EST on theknot.com

sonya+adam

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In Response to Re: Bridal Shower:

I would ask someone to go in on one with you. I know that technically you aren't supposed to throw your own shower. However, many people in my wedding have their own lives and I feel its inappropriate for me to expect them to cover every single thing. I did my own invites (since I had the guest list and addresses). My bridesmaid is taking care of the decorations, my mom and aunts wanted to do the food, and my other bridesmaid is handling the bachelorette party after. Its been a great experience because no one is overwhelmed by their role and everyone is getting a chance to know each other better (for those who didn't know each other as well initially).
Posted by KaylaMarkMI

This is probably why you assumed it was okay to throw your own bachelorette party in the post above this one.

But, no, it is absolutely not okay to throw your own shower. If someone wants to throw you one, the that's great, but a shower is not requred, so if no one offers, then you're just going to have to live without a shower.

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