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Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts?
Etiquette
Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts?
No one wants to deal with the etiquette police so let these Knotties help you avoid them. Post your questions for modern advice on etiquette and planning.
Ok, So me and my fiance are thinking about having a wedding in Ohio at his Aunt & Uncle's house or possibly a beach wedding along the Gulf coast some where (we are having a hard time deciding). We
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Etiquette
Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts?
No one wants to deal with the etiquette police so let these Knotties help you avoid them. Post your questions for modern advice on etiquette and planning.
Ok, So me and my fiance are thinking about having a wedding in Ohio at his Aunt & Uncle's house or possibly a beach wedding along the Gulf coast some where (we are having a hard time deciding). We
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Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9
Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:35fcc0c0-1a93-4d1e-9b5e-87cc4e6d882a
Forums  >  Wedding Boards  >  Etiquette  >  Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts?
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Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts?

posted at 2/9/2012 8:01 PM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
01-01-2012
DALLAS-FORT WORTH
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Posts: 4
First: 1/30/2012

Last: 2/9/2012


Ok, So me and my fiance are thinking about having a wedding in Ohio at his Aunt & Uncle's house or possibly a beach wedding along the Gulf coast some where (we are having a hard time deciding). We would be have a reception after the wedding in Ohio or at the Beach (just something small ; dinner, cake, fun with our guest @ a restaurant or something).

You would think that would be pretty cut in dry, but see we live in Texas. All of my family is from Texas, with the exception of my mom and step dad that live in Colorado. All of his family is from Ohio and Michigan. No mater where we have the wedding there will be a number of people that we would love to be there, that will not be able to attend.

We were thinking about maybe a get together here in Texas to include those family members and friends that would not be able to attend a wedding in either Ohio or at the beach. (The would be after we return from honeymoon). 

We would for sure invite our closest family and friends to the ceremony and reception the day of wedding (any of them that want to be there, are more than welcome), but if we were to do a get together back home we would probably invite a few more.. 

So I know this is a strange scenario, but how do we handle gift registries? Invites? 

I need some advise on how to approach this situation.

This will probably not be my last question on here? Some strange obstacles to work around for the planning of our Wonderful Big Day.

Much Thanks and appreciation for help with this!!!  Cool

 

Re: Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts?

posted at 2/9/2012 8:30 PM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
10-27-2011
NORTH CAROLINA
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Posts: 123
First: 1/23/2012

Last: 4/4/2012


Hey Kake,
Your situation doesn't sound very unique to me.  It doesn't even really sound like a "situation".  You and your FI have family that lives out of town.  Most people do.  Invite the people you want to be there, regardless of where they live.  Have the ceremony where you want to have it, regardless of where family lives.  You send them invitations in the mail, you register at stores that are found across the US (any department store) and the guests either bring gifts to you or they mail them if they can't attend.   I don't really see what obstacles you have here.

Re: Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts?

posted at 2/9/2012 8:30 PM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
05-11-2010
DC AREA
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Posts: 8563
First: 10/6/2010

Last: 3/13/2012


First of all, these are not unique situations. Second of all, if you want to have an at home reception you should only invite people who were also invited to the wedding. 

For the invitations just send out wedding invitations 6-8 weeks before the wedding (like normal) then send out additional AHR invitations 6-8 weeks before the AHR. They registry would be the same as in any other situation.

Re: Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts?

posted at 2/9/2012 8:43 PM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
10-08-2003
GRAND RAPIDS
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Posts: 567
First: 2/24/2011

Last: 5/13/2012


I'm going to agree with the other.  When I got married, forever ago, my husband and I lived in Michigan, as did his parents.  The rest of his family was in Iowa, California, and Florida.  My family was in Pennsylvania and Wisconsin. 

Re: Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts?

posted at 2/9/2012 8:49 PM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
02-01-2012
BOSTON
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Last: 5/24/2012


"Advice"  not advise

Re: Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts?

posted at 2/9/2012 8:51 PM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
06-22-2011
UPSTATE NEW YORK
5233443445057395
Posts: 3225
First: 7/6/2011

Last: 5/24/2012


Congrats on your upcoming wedding.  Your situation is not unique, actually the same "situations" everyone else who gets married encounters.  Out of town guests, most weddings have them.  Registries, yup, many brides have them too.  No special snowflakes here.



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Re: Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts?

posted at 2/9/2012 9:33 PM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
06-04-2010
COLORADO
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Posts: 8980
First: 6/4/2010

Last: 5/21/2012


You can have your wedding and wedding reception the same day anywhere you please.  You should invite anyone you would like to be there.  It is their decision, not yours, whether or not they decide to attend.  You can register for gifts.  It is their decision whether or not to send you one.  There should be no mention of gifts in your invitation.
You can also have a party anywhere, any time.  This will not be a wedding reception, though.  That will be after your ceremony on your wedding day.  Just have a party without any reference to your wedding.  You can show your wedding pictures and serve food and drink.  You can invite anybody, since this is not a wedding related party.  Don't wear your wedding dress, unless someone asks you to try it on for a few minutes for Grandma to see.
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Re: Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts?

posted at 2/9/2012 9:42 PM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
03-14-2010
CONNECTICUT
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In Response to Re: Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts?:
You can have your wedding and wedding reception the same day anywhere you please.  You should invite anyone you would like to be there.  It is their decision, not yours, whether or not they decide to attend.  You can register for gifts.  It is their decision whether or not to send you one.  There should be no mention of gifts in your invitation. You can also have a party anywhere, any time.  This will not be a wedding reception, though.  That will be after your ceremony on your wedding day.  Just have a party without any reference to your wedding.  You can show your wedding pictures and serve food and drink.  You can invite anybody, since this is not a wedding related party.  Don't wear your wedding dress, unless someone asks you to try it on for a few minutes for Grandma to see.
Posted by CMGr

And this isn't a hard set rule.

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Re: Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts?

posted at 2/9/2012 9:59 PM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
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COLORADO
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Last: 5/21/2012


In Response to Re: Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts?:
In Response to Re: Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts? : And this isn't a hard set rule.
Posted by wrdgirl

What isn't a hard set rule?
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Re: Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts?

posted at 2/10/2012 7:13 AM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
12-28-2010
MAINE
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Posts: 3989
First: 1/27/2011

Last: 5/24/2012


Like PPs have said, this is not a unique situation.  My advice would be to plan the wedding you would like to have--include everyone you would want to be there--and have the ceremony and reception.  Then, if a large enough group of people cannot attend that are all located in one place, think about hosting a BBQ, picnic, cocktail party, etc. in that town once you get back.  

Make sure whatever venue you choose can accomodate 100% attendance.  While it's unlikely, you cannot really determine what people will or will not spend their money on, and you might be surprised.  

Re: Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts?

posted at 2/10/2012 7:33 AM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
06-09-2010
LONG ISLAND
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Last: 5/24/2012


In Response to Re: Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts?:
In Response to Re: Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts? : And this isn't a hard set rule.
Posted by wrdgirl


Aww, is someone having a PPD but is too chicken to try to defend it publicly, so you're taking passive-aggressive swipes at CMGr?

And OP, listen to CMGr and the other posters on this one.  This is wedding planning, not rocket science.
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Re: Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts?

posted at 2/10/2012 8:04 AM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
10-11-2011
UPSTATE NEW YORK
6914539411682800
Posts: 296
First: 10/20/2011

Last: 5/9/2012


In Response to Re: Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts?:
First of all, these are not unique situations. Second of all, if you want to have an at home reception you should only invite people who were also invited to the wedding.  For the invitations just send out wedding invitations 6-8 weeks before the wedding (like normal) then send out additional AHR invitations 6-8 weeks before the AHR. They registry would be the same as in any other situation.
Posted by annakb8


What's AHR - at home reception?

OP - You didn't mention save the dates but you could also send those out early so that out of towners have a chance to make travel arrangements, request time off work, review finanaces and decide if they are able to make the trip.  We have family and friends coming from several states so we want to make sure they have the info nice and early so they can make arrangements...
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Re: Few Questions about Unique situation...Invites? Gifts?

posted at 2/10/2012 9:31 AM EST on theknot.com
Joined on
02-07-2012
MINNEAPOLIS-ST. PAUL
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Posts: 650
First: 2/7/2012

Last: 5/24/2012


like PPs said, this is not unique.  Lots of people plan out of town/state weddings, and a lot of guests travel.    I'm sending out 76 total invites and that spans 22 states and 1 foreign country.  It's not a big deal.

As far as registries, if you're worried about what people may buy if left to their own devices, register at a nationwide store like Target, Kohl's or BBB.   But please do realize they don't HAVE to use your lists anyway.  People aren't required to bring a gift, let alone buy you picked out.

take a deep breath...wedding planning isn't as big of a deal as TV makes it out to be.
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