Gem from my month board

Dreamergirl8812 · January 2013

Ok I know I'm going to get flack for posting this but I don't care. I'm not a mean girl but this is priceless. From my board:

So, last week I finally asked all of my bridesmaids to be a part of the bridal party and they all agreed!

Yesterday I sat down and wrote an email to them outlining what I expect (bachelorette party and show up in dresses we pick out) and how I see things going - them telling me what, if anything, they want to help with.

I have only heard back from two of the five, and I sent the email yesterday afternoon. Now, I understand that I am insane with email because I check it constantly and that isn't necessarily the norm, but because of it I get impatient if I haven't heard back in 3 hours. (I know it is ridiculous - I KNOW it is!)

I am wondering what the standard normal person's response time expectation is? When is it okay to follow up with them? (I did ask them to let me know what dates will work to go dress shopping so I can make an appointment, and they have all indicated that they want to come to that, which is the response that I am waiting for)

... oh, and the wedding is in 8 months.

Dreamergirl8812 · January 2013

Correct.

I think the worst part is that every response was: well give it 2 or 3 days then get irritated.

Simply Fated · January 2013

I have only heard back from two of the five, and I sent the email yesterday afternoon. Now, I understand that I am insane with email because I check it constantly and that isn't necessarily the norm, but because of it I get impatient if I haven't heard back in 3 hours. (I know it is ridiculous - I KNOW it is!)

At least she knows it's ridiculous.

hoffse · January 2013

Dude - if I was one of those bridesmaids I would "be busy" until it sinks in how ridiculous she's being - matching dresses to a bach party that she's insisting they plan?

[Deleted User] · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gem-from-my-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d58343cd-f5b7-4100-a0d1-cbb589e7bae5Post:da0e4a8f-4cbd-4148-b55b-6ae12e38797c">Gem from my month board</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok I know I'm going to get flack for posting this but I don't care. I'm not a mean girl but this is priceless. From my board: So, last week I finally asked all of my bridesmaids to be a part of the bridal party and they all agreed! Yesterday I sat down and wrote an email to them outlining what I expect (bachelorette party and show up in dresses we pick out) and how I see things going - them telling me what, if anything, they want to help with. I have only heard back from two of the five, and I sent the email yesterday afternoon. Now, I understand that I am insane with email because I check it constantly and that isn't necessarily the norm, but because of it I get impatient if I haven't heard back in 3 hours. (I know it is ridiculous - I KNOW it is!) I am wondering what the standard normal person's response time expectation is? When is it okay to follow up with them? (I did ask them to let me know what dates will work to go dress shopping so I can make an appointment, and they have all indicated that they want to come to that, which is the response that I am waiting for) ...<strong> oh, and the wedding is in 8 months.</strong>
Posted by Dreamergirl8812[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I don't care about the bolded, really. That's normal to ask your bridesmaids around that time or whatever. I actually asked mine earlier (a year out) than recommended, and I had my dress more than a year in advance.</div><div>
</div><div>But to the rest--yeah. I wish her good luck with ALL THAT. I had to leave my month board. I got in an Internet Altercation when I suggested monogrammed totes weren't a GREAT GIFT OMG.

</div>

[Deleted User] · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gem-from-my-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d58343cd-f5b7-4100-a0d1-cbb589e7bae5Post:6eabfa9b-ae6b-4ef8-b5f8-5cef8b2407e7">Re: Gem from my month board</a>:
[QUOTE]Dude - if I was one of those bridesmaids I would "be busy" until it sinks in how ridiculous she's being - matching dresses to a bach party that she's insisting they plan?
Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Oh, fluck, I thought she meant matching dresses for the WEDDING. Which, you know, I'm not even doing THAT, but whatever. Fluck that whore.

</div>

hoffse · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gem-from-my-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d58343cd-f5b7-4100-a0d1-cbb589e7bae5Post:479be107-2edb-4dde-8498-d61b691a1c4d">Re: Gem from my month board</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gem from my month board : Oh, fluck, I thought she meant matching dresses for the WEDDING. Which, you know, I'm not even doing THAT, but whatever. Fluck that whore.
Posted by Domino04[/QUOTE]

<div>Lol I know - I read it twice because I thought "surely not" but I'm pretty sure that happened. My MOH was actually a BM in a wedding that did this - they all were required to wear black dresses to the bach party (with hot pink accessories of course) and the bride wore white. My poor MOH was like, "please tell me you aren't doing that." I was like, "I don't even want a bach party."</div>

rajahmd · January 2013

I feel an urge to go check out your month board now. Sounds way more interesting than mine. Mine is active, but so far everyone's pretty level headed.

[Deleted User] · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gem-from-my-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d58343cd-f5b7-4100-a0d1-cbb589e7bae5Post:47d399b6-b0c0-4091-a24a-4a57f9ff1548">Re: Gem from my month board</a>:
[QUOTE]I feel an urge to go check out your month board now. Sounds way more interesting than mine. Mine is active, but so far everyone's pretty level headed.
Posted by RachelBFMD[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>To be fair, my blowout happened on the Facebook group, but my month board is equally entertaining. However, I can only handle so much before I get really bothered by it. Like. I'm that person who, just the other day, wrote "don't do it" under one of those honeymoon jars that someone pinned on Pinterest. I can't let someone just be tacky. I have to say something about it.</div><div>
</div><div>That probably means I'm tacky, too. So. Whatever.

</div>

[Deleted User] · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gem-from-my-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d58343cd-f5b7-4100-a0d1-cbb589e7bae5Post:178407c8-a5ca-4b98-a344-d89d51835b56">Re: Gem from my month board</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gem from my month board : Lol I know - I read it twice because I thought "surely not" but I'm pretty sure that happened. My MOH was actually a BM in a wedding that did this - they all were required to wear black dresses to the bach party (with hot pink accessories of course) and the bride wore white. My poor MOH was like, "please tell me you aren't doing that." I was like, "I don't even want a bach party."
Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Well, now that you're saying that, my mom told me that my bridesmaids are all wearing my wedding colors to the shower, and I should wear white. I was like "who's idea was that," and she said it was one of the bridesmaids' ideas. I certainly don't require that at all, though. I still feel weird about it. On one hand, should I mention to them "hey, my mom ratted you out and said you are all wearing wedding colors, and you totally don't have to buy anything new or do that or whatever." On the other...I'm not really supposed to know all that, either.</div><div>
</div><div>But. I went and bought a white dress. So. I guess that's happening.

</div>

hoffse · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gem-from-my-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d58343cd-f5b7-4100-a0d1-cbb589e7bae5Post:02c875b1-679b-4d00-a8a1-42afb54731de">Re: Gem from my month board</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gem from my month board : Well, now that you're saying that, my mom told me that my bridesmaids are all wearing my wedding colors to the shower, and I should wear white. I was like "who's idea was that," and she said it was one of the bridesmaids' ideas. I certainly don't require that at all, though. I still feel weird about it. On one hand, should I mention to them "hey, my mom ratted you out and said you are all wearing wedding colors, and you totally don't have to buy anything new or do that or whatever." On the other...I'm not really supposed to know all that, either. But. I went and bought a white dress. So. I guess that's happening.
Posted by Domino04[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Yeah but it wasn't a demand you made. This bride had to approve each black dress before they went out. I see a big difference.

</div>

[Deleted User] · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gem-from-my-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d58343cd-f5b7-4100-a0d1-cbb589e7bae5Post:52355b7a-6932-47b4-bf69-360d2b580b07">Re:Gem from my month board</a>:
[QUOTE]Domino... The "blowout" you've described on both this thread and FFF two wks ago was hardly that. I'm still on that FB group and had to search it and not one person got bent out of shape not even you... In fact a couple girls agreed with you. So I don't know why you feel the need to keep dragging it on. It's getting a bit ridiculous. Edit: sorry for lack of punctuation, mainly parentheses, I'm on my iPhone.
Posted by mrskaiser22[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>It was annoying enough that I left the group, and it was pretty ridiculously defended by some girls. I remember a lot of them getting snarky. I think like TWO people agreed. Everyone else thought monograms are awesome LOLz. One girl even said my gift cards were thoughtless gifts. Um, not really. I think the group is just full of really young brides who are caught up in the IT IS MY DAY OMG mentality and think they need monogramed totes and velour sweat suits. Not my style, so I left the group.</div><div>
</div><div>Also, how on earth did you even know who I was? I'm thinking you are one of the ones who "got bent out of shape" if you cared enough to search back (it was a LONG time ago) on Facebook.

</div>

[Deleted User] · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gem-from-my-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d58343cd-f5b7-4100-a0d1-cbb589e7bae5Post:a6ef6c9f-9e96-42f5-8cb4-dd43f022e847">Re:Gem from my month board</a>:
[QUOTE]Because on FFF you called out the June '13 Facebook group. You weren't exactly coy about it. And then I looked on the members list and your name was still on it. First of all, I like monograms personally. Two, I am NOT getting my girls personalized gifts or something to wear day of. Three, I disagree with plenty on that board but I also get a lot of great ideas. Four, i will be getting my girls something that is uniquely them, and maybe that thing is a gift card. A huge part of being an adult is being able to listen to other people's opinions and thoughts without flipping out, leaving a board, and then calling everyone young and immature and proclaiming it on different threads. Get over it already. Sorry for the spacing, still on my phone.
Posted by mrskaiser22[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Is there a list that has our Knot names on it or something? I don't remember, but I suppose that could be it. Because if Domino04 is NOT anywhere on that list, you'd have had to figure out my real name, and that is the part that I would find creepy, so we'll pretend that's not what happened.</div><div>
</div><div>P.S. I really, really did not flip out. I just left the board, and I'm bringing up their bad ideas in relevant threads (FFF, and a thread about someone ELSE's bad idea). It sort of seems like you are flipping out a bit, though. Sorry you like monograms.

</div>

[Deleted User] · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gem-from-my-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d58343cd-f5b7-4100-a0d1-cbb589e7bae5Post:be05959c-53d1-4a21-bea8-4f4fe74068ec">Re:Gem from my month board</a>:
[QUOTE]You typed on the members list First NameDomino04. And if you're not worked up about it, stop referring to it as a "blowout" and <strong>I'll stop responding to you</strong>.
Posted by mrskaiser22[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Dude, we're cool. Just do that part.

</div>

LDubHawksFan · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gem-from-my-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d58343cd-f5b7-4100-a0d1-cbb589e7bae5Post:178407c8-a5ca-4b98-a344-d89d51835b56">Re: Gem from my month board</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gem from my month board : Lol I know - I read it twice because I thought "surely not" but I'm pretty sure that happened. My MOH was actually a BM in a wedding that did this - they all were required to wear black dresses to the bach party (with hot pink accessories of course) and the bride wore white. My poor MOH was like, "please tell me you aren't doing that." I was like, "I don't even want a bach party."
Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]

Yep a friend's MOH planned the same thing. We had to all wear black dresses so the bride in white would stand out. She then had hot pink ties for us all to wear.

vk2204 · January 2013

While I do think the bride is a little... overbearing? I don't understand why you didn't say something to her in the actual thread instead of posting it here.

Stina51286 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gem-from-my-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d58343cd-f5b7-4100-a0d1-cbb589e7bae5Post:04ef98a9-3c63-4f61-840a-87780d572886">Re: Gem from my month board</a>:
[QUOTE]While I do think the bride is a little... overbearing? I don't understand why you didn't say something to her in the actual thread instead of posting it here.
Posted by vk2204[/QUOTE]

I agree! As the Mod on that board, I did start a thread regarding that, but I did not say who did what or what board it was done on.

libby18bell · January 2013

I agree with Stina and vk2204, if you have problem with an idea or something someone did in your group you should say something to them. That's the reason we have the forums, to bounce ideas off each other. I didn't think it was to go to another forum and smack talk people. By the way, I didn't read the same dress as the same dress to be worn to the bachelorette party, but more having all the BM wear the same BM dress, which I'm also doing. I know some people do the same color and let the girls choose the actual dress, or same dress in different colors, but I'm hoping all my girls agree on the same dress, since I'm letting them pick it out, I just asked that it be silver/pewter or charcoal gray. Maybe if the OP had asked the original poster about the dresses, she may have known for sure, instead of assuming the worse.

hardlyhannah · January 2013

I wasn't going to respond when this was brought to my attention because I felt like it doesn't really deserve it - but it's going to bug me if I don't say my piece.

If you would have responded directly I could have told you that I asked about the bachelorette party because my MOHs have already started talking about it and I know they are planning on throwing it for me. I also could have told you that I was referring to my bridesmaid dresses for the day of in the email, not matching dresses to the bachelorette party, because I could care less about that. I paraphrased my email in the post, because that wasn't what I was asking advice on.

I know that my email expectation/habit is unrealistic, so I was asking for advice on what was realistic. That was the point of the post.

Ro041 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gem-from-my-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d58343cd-f5b7-4100-a0d1-cbb589e7bae5Post:da0e4a8f-4cbd-4148-b55b-6ae12e38797c">Gem from my month board</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok <strong>I know I'm going to get flack for posting this but I don't care. I'm</strong> <strong>not a mean girl but this is priceless. From my board:</strong> So, last week I finally asked all of my bridesmaids to be a part of the bridal party and they all agreed! Yesterday I sat down and wrote an email to them outlining what I expect (bachelorette party and show up in dresses we pick out) and how I see things going - them telling me what, if anything, they want to help with. I have only heard back from two of the five, and I sent the email yesterday afternoon. Now, I understand that I am insane with email because I check it constantly and that isn't necessarily the norm, but because of it I get impatient if I haven't heard back in 3 hours. (I know it is ridiculous - I KNOW it is!) I am wondering what the standard normal person's response time expectation is? When is it okay to follow up with them? (I did ask them to let me know what dates will work to go dress shopping so I can make an appointment, and they have all indicated that they want to come to that, which is the response that I am waiting for) ... oh, and the wedding is in 8 months.
Posted by Dreamergirl8812[/QUOTE]

You're not a mean girl? You certainly could have fooled me. I don't remember you ever posting on that board, but I guess you troll over there. I think what you did was incredibly inappropriate and doesn't come close to something that should have been brought over here. You just seem like a mean bully, and it actually makes me pretty happy that you don't post over there. Jeez.

ETA: Also, no one over there told her to "wait 2 or 3 days and then get irritated" so saying that makes you a bully and a liar. But hey, I say that while justifying it by saying I'm not a mean girl.

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