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Honeymoon Registry

sleepybsleepyb
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Question purely for information: Why are honeymoon registries bad?

I've seen a lot of people say that it isn't proper etiquette to have a honeymoon registry and I'd like to know the rationale behind that stand.

I've had friends and family members with honeymoon registries and I've happily purchased them a horseback ride or jet ski adventure.

Why is this considered rude?
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Re: Honeymoon Registry

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    myname1234myname1234
    First Comment
    I think it goes along with the same theory as cash at a shower.  You need the tangible to 'shower" them with gifts.

    It's just a thought...may not hold any e-rule but it makes sense to me. :)
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    stefaniewattiestefaniewattie member
    First Anniversary First Comment

    If I knew I was actually buying them parasailing, or a couples massage on the beach.. I would LOVE that, frankly Id rather give them a once in a lifetime trip that theyll remember forever than pots and pans. But I myself would rather skrimp my money all the time and eat KD and not buy myself new clothes for a year so we can go on a vacation once a year.
    BUT, after learning that Im not actually buying them parasailing or a couples massage... I would never buy off it. I would much rather cut them a check..so they can get the WHOLE check..not what I put in, minus 15%. In all fairness..its actually rather stupid of B&G's to get HM registries, if you didnt register anywhere, people would get the hint and give you money and you would wind up with more money than if you had a HM registry because you wouldnt have paid service fees!

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    TheBaneyTheBaney member
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    So, I have a question. What about using like, the Amazon wishlist as your registry, where you can register for things like plane tickets, or gift certificates to restaurants, or admission to museums, etc.? Would that be acceptable to those who are against honeymoon registries for the cash grabbing?
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    SVPWSVPW
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    WOW! I was wondering why people were so opposed to hm registries as well.  I had no idea that this is the way a honeymoon registry worked! I have in the past purchased things for friends on honeymoon registries as well as their regular registries thinking that they were receiving what I had actually purchased for them off of the hm. Boo, never again. That is very deceitful.
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    jacqisagirljacqisagirl
    First Comment
     No matter how you look at it, you are asking friends and family to open their wallets. Gift giving is evolving. Many couples getting married today already have pots and pans and food processors - why would they need more stuff? A Honeymoon Gift Registry is a great alternative - friends and family contribute to a couple's overall experience and forever lasting memories through a trip of a lifetime. Not only is the gift giver contributing to something very, very special but when that couple returns they share pictures and stories of their adventure. In my eyes that is more special and meaningful than a pot or a pan. A recent Honeymoon Gift Registry study revealed that more money is given to Honeymoon Gift Registries than traditional gift registries. This trend proves that friends and family get more joy out of contributing to an experience rather than giving a material object. <p class="MsoNormal">In addition, let's look at the dollars and cents of a Honeymoon Gift Registry vs. a Traditional Gift Registry. When you register for, let's say a set of plates at Crate & Barrel, you are asking that person buying the gift to pay full price for that item. (not to mention shipping costs) The mark up on items like that is incredible - upwards of 200%. When you are contributing to a Honeymoon Gift Registry whether the couple is doing a DIY honeymoon or working with a travel agent/planner the couple has options of getting the best bang for their gifted dollars. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Finally, let’s look at the real costs of paying a Honeymoon Gift Registry Service. There are a few out there that are “free” but when is ANYTHING free? Those organizations are either selling your information to spammers (have you noticed an increase in random emails since signing up?) or they are littering their website with all sorts of advertisements many of which go on your personal Honeymoon Gift page. There is a second tier of Honeymoon Gift Registries like my company, SendUsOff that don’t employ these tactics to get paid. They simply ask for a small percentage of the final total of what the couple receives. Remember that places like Crate & Barrel are asking for 200% on the front end; why not pay a much smaller percentage on the back end, get the gift you really want – a trip of a lifetime - and get a much bigger bang for your gifted dollars! <span> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Jacq Nichols with SendUsOff.com </p>


    [QUOTE]Question purely for information: Why are honeymoon registries bad? I've seen a lot of people say that it isn't proper etiquette to have a honeymoon registry and I'd like to know the rationale behind that stand. I've had friends and family members with honeymoon registries and I've happily purchased them a horseback ride or jet ski adventure. Why is this considered rude?
    Posted by sleepyb[/QUOTE]
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    annakrenskyannakrensky
    First Comment
    Some people say they're "bad" etiquette, but the truth is that etiquette is based on tradition, but tradition just doens't make sense anymore. Yes, creating a honeymoon registry is asking for gifts, but so is creating a registry at Macy's. Why should one be considered OK when the other isn't? It just doesn't make sense to ask for gifts if you don't really want or need them. It's traditional to give household items, but if you don't need those then you don't benefit from the gift, and who wants to give a gift if the receiver doesn't need, want, or appreciate it? It's silly to stick with etiquette just because it's traditional - times are changing, and personally, I'd rather give a gift that lets my loved ones have an amazing honeymoon with experiences and memories that they'll cherish forever, over another vase that'll sit in the closet or likely get returned. My sister and new husband just used Deposit a Gift, and I (and all the other guests) we're so pleased to help send them on a honeymoon they couldn't have afforded otherwise and see all the pics and hear about a trip of a lifetime that we made happen. Fees really aren't that high - no more than shipping and giftwrap you'd pay for another gift!  
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    sleepybsleepyb
    First Comment

    For the people opposed to the idea because you shouldn't have a honeymoon you can't afford, would you still be opposed to it if you knew that the couple had already paid for the trip and the items registered for were little extras (ex: bottle of champagne, horseback ride, jet ski outing) - things they don't need but would add to the experience?

    I think PP's statements about the 15% being the same as the cost of shipping and tax off a registry item rings very true.

    I'm really stuck on trying to find the etiquette difference between this and either registering for expensive china or having a small registry to imply that you want cash.

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    SVPWSVPW
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5e168082-c50c-49ee-932f-614a7712576fPost:a4baafd5-5aa1-4d0b-bc17-5212c1d62bf6">Re: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]For the people opposed to the idea because you shouldn't have a honeymoon you can't afford, would you still be opposed to it if you knew that the couple had already paid for the trip and the items registered for were little extras (ex: bottle of champagne, horseback ride, jet ski outing) - things they don't need but would add to the experience? I think PP's statements about the 15% being the same as the cost of shipping and tax off a registry item rings very true. I'm really stuck on trying to find the etiquette difference between this and either registering for expensive china or having a small registry to imply that you want cash.
    Posted by sleepyb[/QUOTE]

    Because if you are registering for china and someone buys you china you are getting what they paid for. Honeymoon registries are deceptive. You think you are buying the couple a bottle of wine at dinner and really you are paying a website to redistribute cash.
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