Inviting more friends less family...

StacyMetal · April 2012

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crash2729 · April 2012

Just don't talk wedding with them.
They'll get the hint when they don't get an invitation.

pokepoke27 · April 2012

You don't need to invite family if you don't want to. Just don't go posting a bunch of stuff on FB about your wedding and don't talk wedding with them.

And I kinda want to know who that rockstar is - but I'm not going to ask because of the internet safety thing.

ETA - Also, I kind of feel like if you have room in your budget that it would be a nice gesture to invite the family members, I mean it would probably be a story they tell for the rest of their lives "I went to X's wedding - my relative is his wife!" But if you really feel like you only want people you're very close to at the wedding then definitely don't feel obligated to invite them - I only caution that it could mean they never speak to you again (which it sounds like you wouldn't mind that anyways).

Kate61487 · April 2012

You don't have to invite them if you don't want to. Just restrict what information you put out there and if they make posts on your wall directly referencing coming to the wedding I'd probably delete them so they don't feed off each other.

SparrowSong · April 2012

I do think you should invite who you are closed to. But also keep in mind, that for your parents, their little girl getting married is a big deal too and they want to share that occasion with who is closed to them. So I would put a little leeway in your invite list to allow a few guests to be your parents siblings, or friends, or whatever to make the day nice for them as well.

Cortney1982 · April 2012

We too are leaving out aunts, uncles, and cousins. I know what you mean, they weren't interested in you before, any attempt now is just for their own gain. Don't mention anything on Facebook before the wedding because obviously there will be people on there who are not invited. And I don't agree with inviting extended relatives as a nice gesture if you have room in the budget. Like I said, these were people who previously didn't care what you were up to.

specialk84 · April 2012

Are you my SIL?

OliveOilsMom · April 2012

For our wedding, we only invited my father's side of the family. Not my moms or any of H's family. Sometimes families don't grow up close to each other or there are other issues like family squabbles (both in my case). As a PP said, your parents are going to be happy about your wedding and may want to share that day with their siblings. So maybe ask them what they think. If you are paying for the wedding, you will get final say in the guest list.

And don't talk wedding on FB. And delete any comments made to you about the wedding. Maybe send them a private fb message explaining you want to keep the wedding private and off the main page of your fb. You can always deflect their questions with "We haven't made any concrete plans yet" or "We haven't finalized our guest list yet".

DelBride2012 · April 2012

Do you have a reason for not wanting to invite them other than feeling like they didn't pay enough attention to you? I dunno your OP comes off as a little bratty.

Melissa.hylton · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-more-friends-less-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dd20113-25ee-450a-9bdd-cab63c6a906dPost:1b127488-9fa8-45ac-b948-ee63931a66dc">Re: Inviting more friends less family...</a>:
[QUOTE]You don't need to invite family if you don't want to. Just don't go posting a bunch of stuff on FB about your wedding and don't talk wedding with them. And I kinda want to know who that rockstar is - but I'm not going to ask because of the internet safety thing. ETA - Also, I kind of feel like if you have room in your budget that it would be a nice gesture to invite the family members, I mean it would probably be a story they tell for the rest of their lives "I went to X's wedding - my relative is his wife!" But if you really feel like you only want people you're very close to at the wedding then definitely don't feel obligated to invite them - I only caution that it could mean they never speak to you again (which it sounds like you wouldn't mind that anyways).
Posted by pokepoke27[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>We will find out Oct. 5th what rockstar got married! </div>

Spunky414 · April 2012

We aren't inviting aunts/uncles/cousins either. My fiance doesn't have any and I've got a ton. Including my family would more than double our guest list (our wedding is <25 people) and they are people I either don't have an adult relationship with or have only met once or twice.

What made it ok for me is that the rule for our friends is that they have to be a regular part of our lives, we needed to see or speak to them more than once or twice a year. There was no reason that shouldn't also apply to family. Considering only my grandfather and one aunt acknowledged our engagment it made it easier.

nextrightthing · April 2012

It might be just me, but do fiances of "rockstars" refer to themselves as "rockstars"? Seems MUDdy to me. That being said, if your fiance is a rockstar, can't he afford to invite all the relatives? What's wrong with a nice gesture if money is no object?

nextrightthing · April 2012

In Response to Re:Inviting more friends less family...:[QUOTE]It might be just me, but do fiances of "rockstars" refer to themselves as "rockstars"? Seems MUDdy to me. That being said, if your fiance is a rockstar, can't he afford to invite all the relatives? What's wrong with a nice gesture if money is no object? Posted by nextrightthing[/QUOTE]

I meant, refer to their fiances as rockstars. Most musicians seem to call themselves musicians.

jessicabessica · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-more-friends-less-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dd20113-25ee-450a-9bdd-cab63c6a906dPost:a4a71990-6d66-4731-8c26-eace2fd01ed6">Re:Inviting more friends less family...</a>:
[QUOTE]It might be just me, but do fiances of "rockstars" refer to themselves as "rockstars"? Seems MUDdy to me. That being said, if your fiance is a rockstar, can't he afford to invite all the relatives? What's wrong with a nice gesture if money is no object?
Posted by nextrightthing[/QUOTE]

<div>There's no rule that you have to invite everyone you can afford that might possibly want to come to your wedding. It sounds like the OP and her FI want to have a small wedding, since she mentioned having 25 people. </div>

StacyMetal · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-more-friends-less-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dd20113-25ee-450a-9bdd-cab63c6a906dPost:6612eb09-48f0-44e7-a263-57c5781ef573">Re: Inviting more friends less family...</a>:
[QUOTE]I do think you should invite who you are closed to. But also keep in mind, that for your parents, their little girl getting married is a big deal too and they want to share that occasion with who is closed to them. So I would put a little leeway in your invite list to allow a few guests to be your parents siblings, or friends, or whatever to make the day nice for them as well.
Posted by SparrowSong[/QUOTE]

I'm absolutely inviting my parents I just meant other family like cousins.

StacyMetal · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-more-friends-less-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dd20113-25ee-450a-9bdd-cab63c6a906dPost:7dc579f7-c2bd-4279-af9e-00b0b4e3dce8">Re: Inviting more friends less family...</a>:
[QUOTE]Do you have a reason for not wanting to invite them other than feeling like they didn't pay enough attention to you? I dunno your OP comes off as a little bratty.
Posted by DelBride2012[/QUOTE]

You obviously didn't read the post if you chose "bratty" as the adjective to describe my feelings of not having a close relationship with cousins uncles and aunts.

StacyMetal · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-more-friends-less-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8dd20113-25ee-450a-9bdd-cab63c6a906dPost:8f7503f4-8718-4b93-91c4-6eb207e9b273">Re: Inviting more friends less family...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Inviting more friends less family... : We will find out Oct. 5th what rockstar got married!
Posted by Melissa.hylton[/QUOTE]

He is the lead guitarist in the band Slipknot. I don't need to hide it I just didn't say it initially as I didn't want to sound boastful since the main purpose of my post was about my family and guest list. It's not easy to know who truly cares about you when you're marrying someone who is famous so it's really difficult for me to trust when people who never spoke to me suddenly care about my life, but oddly ask for tickets to the next show. I try to stick with the few real friends and enjoy life.

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