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Lunch invites

Etiquette

Lunch invites

No one wants to deal with the etiquette police so let these Knotties help you avoid them. Post your questions for modern advice on etiquette and planning.

My husband and I eloped on January 28th and we are having a luncheon in March to celebrate is it improper to put our registry info in the invite?

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Etiquette

Lunch invites

No one wants to deal with the etiquette police so let these Knotties help you avoid them. Post your questions for modern advice on etiquette and planning.

My husband and I eloped on January 28th and we are having a luncheon in March to celebrate is it improper to put our registry info in the invite?

Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9

Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:fe91c85f-8283-4f23-baae-47858339a5d4

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Forums > Wedding Boards > Etiquette > Lunch invites

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Lunch invites

posted at 2/10/2012 12:10 AM EST on theknot.com

tina92180

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My husband and I eloped on January 28th and we are having a luncheon in March to celebrate is it improper to put our registry info in the invite?

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Re: Lunch invites

posted at 2/10/2012 12:21 AM EST on theknot.com

ShakeUpTampa

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Yes. No registry info should be on any invite. As well, why do you have a registry if you are not having a wedding (ceremony) or reception? You already got married why do you expect gifts?

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Re: Lunch invites

posted at 2/10/2012 12:27 AM EST on theknot.com

KindaSparkly

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Yes, it's inppropriate to have any registry information on the invitation. Invitations should never come with the expectation of a gift (although I know you're trying to be informative, not greedy). Also, since these guests weren't invited to your wedding ceremony, they may elect not to give weddings gifts. Consequently, registry information could really offend them and make you seem inadvertantly pushy.

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Re: Lunch invites

posted at 2/10/2012 12:41 AM EST on theknot.com

tina92180

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@shake it up Tampa I feel like your response was a little rude. We are having party to celebrate for everyone. I was just asking
@kindasparkly we invited people to the wedding but only a few people could make it that is the reason we are having a party to celebrate and we are going to about 85 people there I wasn't going to put it on the invitation I was just going to put the info in the invite. We don't expect gifts but I know a lot of our family want to get us something so I thought that would be the best way to do it but I'm guessing those people can ask my dad and stepmom if we're registered. Thanks

We registered before we decided to elope just FYI

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Re: Lunch invites

posted at 2/10/2012 1:11 AM EST on theknot.com

B&K10+13+12

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It is considered poor etiquette to put registery information on your invites. It is also considered poor etiquette to have a wedding registry after you are already married.

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Re: Lunch invites

posted at 2/10/2012 1:35 AM EST on theknot.com

LittleMissCutie...

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In Response to Re: Lunch invites:

@shake it up Tampa I feel like your response was a little rude. We are having party to celebrate for everyone. I was just asking @kindasparkly we invited people to the wedding but only a few people could make it that is the reason we are having a party to celebrate and we are going to about 85 people there I wasn't going to put it on the invitation I was just going to put the info in the invite. We don't expect gifts but I know a lot of our family want to get us something so I thought that would be the best way to do it but I'm guessing those people can ask my dad and stepmom if we're registered. Thanks We registered before we decided to elope just FYI
Posted by tina92180

We're just answering. We can only tell you what we think based on what YOU tell us. Your OP was quite limited in details, so it came off like you registered after you eloped as an afterthought, and now want presents.

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Re: Lunch invites

posted at 2/10/2012 1:36 AM EST on theknot.com

chattychiqa

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I don't even like putting registry info on baby shower invites, I think invitations with gift suggestions are off putting, but that may just be my own hangup.

I think in such an age of technology, people can easily look up your registry online without suggestion. If I were to receive an invitation after an actual ceremony, I would do a web search. That's just me. I wouldn't go empty handed.

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Re: Lunch invites

posted at 2/10/2012 2:04 AM EST on theknot.com

SCogs18

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OP, if you think Shake it up Tampa was being rude, you should read some of the responses to other more controversial posts. Her advice was correct. It is very rude to include registry information on an invitation (unless it is a shower invitation, the whole point of a shower is to "shower the bride with gifts).

Generally, guests are not invited to an elopement, so that is a little confusing.

If someone asks you/your family where you are registered, tell them. Otherwise, they can figure it out on their own (google is a beautiful thing). You should not expect any gifts, especially since these people did not attend your ceremony.

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Re: Lunch invites

posted at 2/10/2012 2:22 AM EST on theknot.com

tina92180

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Again we aren't expecting anything we register over 6 months ago prior to us changing our mind. Elope is the wrong word obviously, we had a destination wedding people knew about it and were invited most people couldn't make it. it was a simple question should I tell people we are registered or not. We have decided to do a party after the fact since so many people couldn't make it.

And if I feel that someone's response was rude I'm going to say that I would still bring a gift if I wasn't invited to the ceremony but to their celebration. I know people that got married and didn't tell anyone (I guess that's eloping) Nd I received a wedding announcement stating they were married and I sent a wedding gift I just feel that's the right thing to do.

Thank you all for your responses I'm going to do what I think is right

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Re: Lunch invites

posted at 2/10/2012 2:23 AM EST on theknot.com

chattychiqa

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I don't mean to be rude or snarky, but why would you ask?

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Re: Lunch invites

posted at 2/10/2012 6:27 AM EST on theknot.com

cfaszews25

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OP -- Putting registry information on an invitation is rude. Spread where you are registered via word of mouth. It's also very easy to search online for couples' registries nowadays.

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Re: Lunch invites

posted at 2/10/2012 6:55 AM EST on theknot.com

Joy2611

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In Response to Re: Lunch invites:

Thank you all for your responses I'm going to do what I think is right
Posted by tina92180

Please say it's "not putting registry info on the invite." PLEASE.

Registry info does not go on invitations to anything except a shower. It's true whether you registered one year ago, married in a church, eloped, or had your dog walk down the aisle pulling the flower girls. Registry info NEVER goes on a non-shower invitation.

If people want to buy you a gift, they will ask about your registry or google your name (it's really easy to find info these days).

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Re: Lunch invites

posted at 2/10/2012 7:05 AM EST on theknot.com

jessicabessica

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In Response to Re: Lunch invites:

Again we aren't expecting anything we register over 6 months ago prior to us changing our mind. Elope is the wrong word obviously, we had a destination wedding people knew about it and were invited most people couldn't make it. it was a simple question should I tell people we are registered or not. We have decided to do a party after the fact since so many people couldn't make it. And if I feel that someone's response was rude I'm going to say that I would still bring a gift if I wasn't invited to the ceremony but to their celebration. I know people that got married and didn't tell anyone (I guess that's eloping) Nd I received a wedding announcement stating they were married and I sent a wedding gift I just feel that's the right thing to do. Thank you all for your responses I'm going to do what I think is right
Posted by tina92180

The point is, you never tell someone where you are registered unless they ask. By putting registry on an invitation, you are saying that you are expecting gifts (even if you're not). And you should not expect gifts--not for a traditional ceremony and reception, and not for what you're planning.

Plenty of guests may still want to give you a gift and see if you have a registry. If they ask, you're free to tell them that you are registered at store x. They may also ask your close family or friends about it, or they may just Google your name and find it that way.

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