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Well that's interesting

AmoroAgainAmoroAgain member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
It appears I'm posting in 2's today. ha.So, I have this friend from college who I email with every so often.  He was my college bf's room mate, and pretty much the only person to hang with me after we split.  I just recently got an email from him letting me know that he finally got his PhD, so I sent him congrats and hugs.  He also wanted to know when I was getting married, so I told him.  I just received an email asking me where we're registered so he can send a gift.  I feel weird about this on many levels.  One, I haven't seen him in literally, years.  Two, it just seems weird.  No, there was never anything between us or anything like that.  No, he's not hugely in debt because all of his education has been paid for.  He's also got a job waiting for him at NASA.  So, should I give the info to him?  I don't really know what to say to that.  He's kind of sensitive, and I don't want to brush him off or anything.  Hm.  Tricky.
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Re: Well that's interesting

  • Brie2010Brie2010 member
    5000 Comments
    I'd probably respond with something else, but not address the gift question.  I'm passive like that, though.If he really genuinely wants to know where you're registered and is dying to send a gift, it's not that hard to find out.  Usually you can go on BBB, C&B, Target or Macy's website and have a pretty good shot of finding someone's registry.
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  • opalsky007opalsky007 member
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    If it were me, I think I'd just say "Aww, how sweet! You really don't need to get us anything though."But then, I don't know your friend. If you're worried about brushing him off but you're not comfortable with giving him the info, maybe just suggest he make a donation to charity?
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  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
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    I just feel like it would be rude to ignore the question.  If he wants to send you a gift, why shouldn't he be able to?  You can always just tell him where you're registered with a disclaimer like, "that's so great of you to ask, but please don't feel obligated to send anything!" or whatever you would feel comfortable saying.
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  • AmoroAgainAmoroAgain member
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    FI and I were just talking about it and I mentioned that I feel bad not being able to send him something for his PhD graduation and he says, "Well, you get gifts when you get married.  You don't get gifts when you get a degree!" lolI think he's gift grabby. :)
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  • kristinjustuskristinjustus member
    10 Comments
    Unless you are registered at a vibrator store, I would think that's fine to give him your registry info.  Shoot, let the guy get you a gift!
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  • veronabritveronabrit
    500 Comments
    i would send him where you are registered and say gifts are definitely not necessary. if he wants to give you a gift, you should let him.
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  • winoweddingwinowedding member
    100 Comments
    I agree that you should address the question and issue a disclaimer, but just let him know where you're registered. Do you think he is expecting an invite and that is part of why you are uncomfortable? Or do you think he will expect some kind of equivalent "graduation gift" from you?
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  • AmoroAgainAmoroAgain member
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    Okey dokey. If the etiquette police are all right with it, I'll put my reservations aside. :)
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  • AmoroAgainAmoroAgain member
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    No, I don't think he expects anything at all from me, he's just a genuinely nice guy.  I think it stems more from my not being able to send him something for his graduation.  If we had been able to have the big wedding we'd originally planned on, he would have gotten an invite.
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    God kills a bunny every time someone asks about honeymoon registries.
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  • icequeen09icequeen09 member
    10 Comments
    I would definitely let him get you something, I send gifts to people even if I'm not invited to the wedding.
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  • sarah0725sarah0725
    5000 Comments
    I know I'm way late on this, but I'd give him the info if he wants it. This is the kind of thing I would do, and I don't make a habit of fishing for wedding invitations. I understand if someone can't invite me due to budget or any other constraints, but I like to show people I care.
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