Wedding Etiquette Forum

What rule did you break?

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Re: What rule did you break?

  • hoffsehoffse member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:b85cff4c-c4a6-4283-8d17-167f4bb2106d">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I didn't think that wearing a tux before 5 was an etiquette rule. I thought it was more of a fashion thing. Maybe?
    Posted by pokepoke27[/QUOTE]

    <div>Nope it's an etiquette rule - no tuxes before 6.</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:b85cff4c-c4a6-4283-8d17-167f4bb2106d">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I didn't think that wearing a tux before 5 was an etiquette rule. I thought it was more of a fashion thing. Maybe?
    Posted by pokepoke27[/QUOTE]

    Nope, it IS an etiquette rule.  A very old fashioned one, but it is. 

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:b85cff4c-c4a6-4283-8d17-167f4bb2106d">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I didn't think that wearing a tux before 5 was an etiquette rule. I thought it was more of a fashion thing. Maybe?
    Posted by pokepoke27[/QUOTE]

    <div>You aren't supposed to wear them for parties starting before six. Because I did not go all bridezilla on my H and force him to wear what I wanted him to wear (and thus throwing off my entire color scheme), he wanted to wear a tuxedo for our wedding. The ceremony was at five, and the reception at six. He also refused to wear a cummerbund and wanted the GM to wear colored vests. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" /></div>
  • aragx6aragx6 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:b85cff4c-c4a6-4283-8d17-167f4bb2106d">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I didn't think that wearing a tux before 5 was an etiquette rule. I thought it was more of a fashion thing. Maybe?
    Posted by pokepoke27[/QUOTE]

    I've seen it in "etiquette" books, but I put that squarely in the tradition/fashion camp. If it has no effect on the enjoyment of your guests, I couldn't really care less. Well, I might still think you're a rube based on fashion choices, but I'm not going to remember it long after the event. Unless it's camo. I feel like I'd definitely remember that.
    Lizzie
  • Huh. Well, my ceremony was at 6 and all the GMs and even H wore a suit. Is that another etiquette rule I broke? Or is it okay because it wasn't super formal? 
  • The purpose of a shower is to help a couple start their life together. Living together kind of means you already have started your lives together. Just giving the explanation. Also, you can not be sure as hell you are having a shower because someone else has to offer.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:d8fe58f6-fd33-4a61-a6b2-39e6a50dc9fa">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What rule did you break? : I've seen it in "etiquette" books, but I put that squarely in the tradition/fashion camp. If it has no effect on the enjoyment of your guests, I couldn't really care less. Well, I might still think you're a rube based on fashion choices, but I'm not going to remember it long after the event. Unless it's camo. I feel like I'd definitely remember that.
    Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

    <div>I've seen a camo wedding dress. True story.</div>
  • A suit is fine. Tuxedos are never required, unless you're attending a black tie event.
  • hoffsehoffse member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:d8fe58f6-fd33-4a61-a6b2-39e6a50dc9fa">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What rule did you break? : I've seen it in "etiquette" books, but I put that squarely in the tradition/fashion camp. If it has no effect on the enjoyment of your guests, I couldn't really care less. Well, I might still think you're a rube based on fashion choices, but I'm not going to remember it long after the event. Unless it's camo. I feel like I'd definitely remember that.
    Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

    <div>I think the reason it technically falls under etiquette is that you're really only supposed to have them for black tie events after 6 pm... and then all the men are supposed to wear them, guests included.  So the idea is that if the wedding party dresses black tie and the guests don't, then the guests might feel underdressed, which can make them feel awkward.  Obviously, many people expect the wedding party to wear tuxes and the rest of the guests to not, but I think that's the origin.</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:a8d24dd2-7c74-4285-8ab4-81accc7ad6c9">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Huh. Well, my ceremony was at 6 and all the GMs and even H wore a suit. Is that another etiquette rule I broke? Or is it okay because it wasn't super formal? 
    Posted by pokepoke27[/QUOTE]

    You should not have had a less than super formal wedding with a ceremony at 6.  Technically.

    But who the fuuuck really cares?  Like the PP said, it has no effect  on the comfort of guests, so meh.

    We wore tuxes (we?  I did not wear a tux) for our 3pm ceremony--because they were far easier and cheaper than suits.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • In Response to Re:What rule did you break?:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What rule did you break?:I didn't think that wearing a tux before 5 was an etiquette rule. I thought it was more of a fashion thing. Maybe?Posted by pokepoke27Nope it's an etiquette rule no tuxes before 6. Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE] H just wanted to wear a tux for his wedding so I stopped arguing with him about it.
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  • hoffsehoffse member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:fa1677a2-a483-4468-8a31-b80f4d95c45d">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What rule did you break? : You should not have had a less than super formal wedding with a ceremony at 6.  Technically. But who the fuuuck really cares?  Like the PP said, it has no effect  on the comfort of guests, so meh. We wore tuxes (we?  I did not wear a tux) for our 3pm ceremony--because they were far easier and cheaper than suits.
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

    <div>No actually you can - you can have a casual wedding any time of the day.  But if you have a formal wedding before 6 pm the men are supposed to wear morning dress, after 6 pm tuxes.  For casual weddings, suits are fine any time of the day... or so says Amy Vanderbilt.  She's dead, though, so who really knows?</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:593d1939-2530-4d89-a0d2-a570a47d1be4">Re:What rule did you break?</a>:
    [QUOTE]The purpose of a shower is to help a couple start their life together. Living together kind of means you already have started your lives together. Just giving the explanation<strong>. Also, you can not be sure as hell you are having a shower because someone else has to offer.
    </strong>Posted by HandBanana[/QUOTE]


    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:78d6c816-3365-4557-a453-fe3496b82861"><u><font color="#0066cc">Re: What rule did you break?</font></u></a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What rule did you break? : Not sure, but we've been living together for seven years and I'm sure as shiitt having a shower <strong>(I mean, since someone offered to throw me one that is)
    </strong>Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:670569eb-0827-4700-b452-e1f64a0e8266">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What rule did you break? : No actually you can - you can have a casual wedding any time of the day.  But if you have a formal wedding before 6 pm the men are supposed to wear morning dress, after 6 pm tuxes.  For casual weddings, suits are fine any time of the day... or so says Amy Vanderbilt.  She's dead, though, so who really knows?
    Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]

    Oh, huh.  Learn something new every day!

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:fa1677a2-a483-4468-8a31-b80f4d95c45d">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What rule did you break? : You should not have had a less than super formal wedding with a ceremony at 6.  Technically. But who the fuuuck really cares?  Like the PP said, <strong>it has no effect  on the comfort of guests,</strong> so meh. We wore tuxes (we?  I did not wear a tux) for our 3pm ceremony--because they were far easier and cheaper than suits.
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

    <div>That's why I assumed it wasn't actually an etiquette rule. But like you said - who cares? Obviously I didn't lol. </div>
  • J&K10910J&K10910 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited July 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:84378d16-d644-464c-92b7-2ccc79f1413b">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What rule did you break? : That's dumb.  I would have been pissed if I got a free drink at cocktail hour and then went back for a refill at dinner and had to pay.
    Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

    Maybe you shouldn't drink so much, lush.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:84378d16-d644-464c-92b7-2ccc79f1413b">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What rule did you break? : That's dumb.  I would have been pissed if I got a free drink at cocktail hour and then went back for a refill at dinner and had to pay.
    Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]
    <div>
    </div><div>Agreed. </div>
  • amyb140amyb140 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited July 2012
    I used labels with my address for the RSVP cards - for some reason 123 Print wouldn't print the address on the front.  By that point everything else was designed and they were a great price, so clear labels it was.

    My big one was that I asked my parents for money.  Whatever.  They wanted to help, but would have had no clue what I needed help with since they don't live here and weren't helping me plan.

    ETA:  I gave my BMs earrings to wear at the wedding as their gift.  I had never heard the rule about not doing that until TK - I have gotten the same thing for every wedding I've been in.  They were all custom made to match their different dresses by a friend who's a jeweler, so maybe that counts for something?
    imageAnniversary
  • aragx6aragx6 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:c395b869-9c5e-4ab7-9b01-8bce8ce793f5">Re:What rule did you break?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:What rule did you break? : In Response to Re: What rule did you break? :
    Posted by brandichamberlain[/QUOTE]

    Thanks. The reading comprehension from some people is quite sketch, eh?
    Lizzie
  • Suits were actually cheaper for us because everyone already owned one. Except H, but now he does so that's good. BIL bought a new suit for the wedding because his is starting to get kind of worn out. He also bought it too small ON PURPOSE. He thought he'd lose weight before the wedding.
  • In Response to Re:What rule did you break?:[QUOTE]Suits were actually cheaper for us because everyone already owned one. Except H, but now he does so that's good. BIL bought a new suit for the wedding because his is starting to get kind of worn out. He also bought it too small ON PURPOSE. He thought he'd lose weight before the wedding. Posted by pokepoke27[/QUOTE] OMG he is that BM that swears she going to be a 6 before the wedding, orders a 6, and has to rush order a new dress 2 weeks before the wedding.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:88154a3c-0b8e-4c22-aa78-52e04228824c">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What rule did you break? : Nope, it IS an etiquette rule.  A very old fashioned one, but it is. 
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

    <div>Whoops. Didn't know this one. I bet that really hacks off the tux rental people. Guess that one's getting broken, too. </div>
    image
  • Some might say we are having a tiered reception. We're having a private ceremony with 12 guests on 10/4 followed by a dinner reception with those same 12 guests. Then on 10/6 we're having a cocktail party to celebrate the wedding with our friends and family that are not coming to the ceremony.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:400ae487-2270-4ca3-9e9b-7d9d1aae9c78">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Some might say we are having a tiered reception. We're having a private ceremony with 12 guests on 10/4 followed by a dinner reception with those same 12 guests. Then on 10/6 we're having a cocktail party to celebrate the wedding with our friends and family that are not coming to the ceremony.
    Posted by GuebaraGirl[/QUOTE]

    Yup, that's a pretty huge rule break. 

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:a9c4104a-3256-4649-b9a5-40974d3e04db">Re:What rule did you break?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:What rule did you break?: OMG he is that BM that swears she going to be a 6 before the wedding, orders a 6, and has to rush order a new dress 2 weeks before the wedding.
    Posted by HandBanana[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yeah, except he bought the suit three weeks before the wedding. And didn't even try it on again until the day of the wedding. Which is why his jacket didn't button : )</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:7c795b0b-1887-4426-9dc1-f65e139d3485">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Suits were actually cheaper for us because everyone already owned one. Except H, but now he does so that's good. BIL bought a new suit for the wedding because his is starting to get kind of worn out. He also bought it too small ON PURPOSE. He thought he'd lose weight before the wedding.
    Posted by pokepoke27[/QUOTE]

    We did suits for this reason as well, everyone including H already had one so it seemed easier. I bought the ties for H and the GM and my grandfather.
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:46a46b7b-6eee-4faf-9ba8-c90dc152110d">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What rule did you break? : We did suits for this reason as well, everyone including H already had one so it seemed easier.<strong> I bought the ties for H and the GM and my grandfather.</strong>
    Posted by mari0225[/QUOTE]

    <div>I bought ties for all the guys in my WP too. </div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:1bf55476-9b30-4403-bd3e-27f7f00d3adc">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What rule did you break? : I bought ties for all the guys in my WP too. 
    Posted by pokepoke27[/QUOTE]

    Yeah it just seemed like the way to go, so they would all match.
    image
  • So out of curiosity, I looked up formal morning or day dress. Hmmm. Interesting. 

    So then what if the party continues well into the evening? 
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:23e592e1-a673-485a-9943-23f8cd6aa251">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
    [QUOTE]So out of curiosity, I looked up formal morning or day dress. Hmmm. Interesting.  So then what if the party continues well into the evening? 
    Posted by willywally5[/QUOTE]
    I believe it is determined by ceremony start time, so how late the reception goes has no bearing.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
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