Facebook & Engagement Annoucements

Classic_amity · February 2010

Hey all,

Just looking for your opinion on Facebook and using it as a medium to announce your engagement.

Here's my two questions:

1. What do you think of switching your relationship status immediately? Do you/Did you/would you love or hate the flurry of public response received?

2. Posting pics of your ring on Facebook; classy or not? And why do you think girls do it?

snoangel79 · February 2010

I waited to tell all the important people in my life then I switched to engaged.
Not sure about posting the ring, I'd like to but not sure if people would think I was being "hey look what I got " hehehe
Of course I will post some wedding day photos though!

Julz629 · February 2010

1. What do you think of switching your relationship status immediately? Do you/Did you/would you love or hate the flurry of public response received?

I waited until I told all my friends and family. And after one or two months (allowing time for the news to spread), I finally switched it to "engaged." Of course, the day that it happened, I already had my close friends writing comments on my wall, I think that is inevitable to an extent.

2. Posting pics of your ring on Facebook; classy or not? And why do you think girls do it?
Yuck. I think its tacky tacky tacky. Of couse, I have a ring picture that I emailed to people who ASKED to see it. But posting it on Facebook seems to braggy. Also, I think its the worst when people post it as their actual photo in their profile.

Katyas90 · February 2010

As far as changing your status, I think that's sort of a personal choice and depends on the couple. Obviously, I'd hope that wasn't the ONLY way that you let your close friends and relatives know, but I definitely don't think it's bad to announce your engagement via FB for people who you may not be in close contact with all the time.

But about the posting of engagement ring pictures, I do think this is tacky. Now, I think it's adorable when there is one or two ring pictures included in an album of engagement pictures or something along those line, but I know of a few girls who went home the second after they got their ring and posted a whole album from their webcam of just their ring, both on them and in the box. Honestly, they just looked ridiculous and braggy. We all talked about them later.

spenet1 · February 2010

I knew who I needed to call and tell personally, and once those were done a day or two later, I posted it on Facebook. I had a ton of pictures from that night, so I posted all of those including one of the ring. I never made it my profile picture though! A few of my friends have it as their profile pic, and honestly some of them are nothing to be bragging about..... LOL

I <3 Seabass · February 2010

I think it's OK to update your status but it would be nice to let people that you're close too know before hand.

About the picture of the ring I have mixed feelings. I didn't do it because I do think it's showy but I don't really mind when I see other pictures of other people's rings.

megk8oz · February 2010

I think you update your status after you tell the key players in your life. I know this one girl who's parents (Yes, her own parents) found out through the FB status update ... and needless to say, they're still mad about it.

I don't mind ring pics ... as long as it isn't the profile pic, if that makes any sense. I like to see people's rings ... but I really don't need the ring to be staring me in the face as I scroll through my news feed.

krmabojo · February 2010

I would say tell everyone that you hold close before you change your status on FB. I know that if a good friend of mine got engaged and FB told me first, I would be pretty mad

I see nothing wrong with putting pics on FB, I know I am going too.

emarston1 · February 2010

FI found out his only brother was engaged by facebook. It really hurt FI that his own brother didn't tell him the news, he had to find out by the FSIL's status update.

I think it's really crappy for people close to you to find out this way. This is why I didn't change it until a few days later so that people could hear it from us. I also asked that the people we did tell, not say anything until we've announced it.

hillaryeggert · February 2010

I found out my sister was engaged via Facebook. I was so upset that I bawled. Then a short while later, found out about a very close friend the same way... even though my then-fiance and I took her out to dinner to tell her in person when we got engaged! Come on! (And interestingly, neither of those engagements worked out... go figure.)

I didn't change my status on Facebook until about two months after we got engaged. I wanted to leave myself plenty of time to make sure all my family and friends found out in person, not through a social networking site. The extra congrats from casual acquaintences and old friends was nice.

I didn't post a picture of my ring, but I put up a few pictures from the day he proposed. I don't mind seeing pictures of rings, but admittedly girls who do that usually come off as materialistic.

diamondx423 · February 2010

We waited until we told all of our important family members and friends before we changed the FB status. Similar to those above, FI's sister posted her engagement on FB 30 seconds after it happened and thats how we all found out. FI and his brother were devistated, and seeing him that upset wrecks me.

There are pictures of my ring on FB, and in my circle its expected to make it your profile picture. I had it for 3 days before I changed it, but I guess it's really just what your friends and family are used to. If noone else has done it, or you've thought "wow thats tacky" than don't do it.

katanne9 · February 2010

I hate finding out people are engaged through Facebook. I'd rather hear it through the grapevine. Facebook is just so impersonal. I waited a little over a week, after many phone calls and our families had called everyone they wanted to.

I did not put any pics of my ring up - mainly because I have heard of several robbery stories on the news. If you've got a great ring, and some person you "sort of" know and are FB friends see it.... I don't know. I'd rather not. Also, it's a little materialistic IMO. But I DID post pictures of our engagement day.

bullentini · February 2010

I'm sure you are already aware of this, but I'd like to give you some advice.

BE CAREFULL WITH WEDDING DETAILS ON FACEBOOK! From ring pics to up to the minute updates, people may assume you are inviting them to your wedding when you dish about your details, even if they are just a FB friend.

I know it seems upsurd, but some of my friends had to deal with this. I've even had a few old friends from highschool ask me about my wedding plans and then I found out they were mad I wasn't inviting them through other friends, even though we hadn't spoken to each other in years!

StephB1185 · February 2010

I know that when it happens for me, we will wait until all of the closest people to us know personally - however long that takes! We both live in different cities from our parents, so I don't know if we'll wait to tell them in person or over the phone either.
As far as pictures - I don't know. I live very far from most of my high school friends (and I'm at the age that everyone is getting engaged) and I like to see because I would have asked anyways! I think it's better if it's a couple pic of her having her hand up instead of a close-up, but it doesn't really bother me. And, depending on how we tell the news, it may be my way of showing all of my closest friends and family that are 6 hours away!

ralea.jo · February 2010

When I got engaged, I spent about an hour on the phone tell all of our siblings and parents, then I texted my closest friends. Later that night, I updated my Facebook status, so I obviously don't have a problem with that.

As for ring pictures, I do have a couple in a photo album (not as my profile picture) because friends wanted to see the ring. I wasn't going to post a picture, because it does seem like bragging, but I had so many requests for a picture that I finally gave in.

SuMmErKuTiE · February 2010

We called our families and closest friends that night to spread the good news and changed our status on FB from "In a Relationship" to "Engaged" the next day or so. I did not and still have not posted pictures of my ring on FB. We posted our Engagement Pictures on there, but no close ups of my ring. I have pictures of my ring in my knot bio, but not on FB. I think people share waaay too much information on FB these days, some people have no concept of personal space or privacy anymore and it's sad. A friend of mine from high school just had a baby yesterday and kept updating her status on her phone about the stage of labor she was in..

MollySm · February 2010

Like most people, I called all of my close family and friends, and then changed my facebook relationship status to engaged. I didn't wait long to do it though (maybe 1 full day). I was so excited I wanted to shout it to the world! So as soon as I got through to my last close friend, I changed it.

I didn't post a ring picture, though I did email one to a few close friends. I don't have a big thing about people that do, I just don't think many people would be interested in a picture of my hand.

Amy+Chris · February 2010

I don't think there is anything WRONG with announcing your engagement on Facebook...after telling important family members verbally! I got engaged abroad so I took the time to call about 4 people and updated my facebook to let the rest of the world know.

Amy+Chris · February 2010

OH and I did post some pictures right away...mostly because my fiance had the brilliant idea to have somebody take our picture (in front of a well-known landmark that we were visiting) when he popped the question along with one picture of the ring since a number of friends and family from out of town had asked to see it.

lostsoule77 · February 2010

I didn't change my status until I told all the important people in my life first. I wanted to tell them in person. I actually had people posting on my page, who found out through the grapevine, before I could tell my aunt. My cousins are all on facebook and I didn't want them to find out that way. Luckily only one of them did. He's in boston at school and I guess his mom hadn't told him yet.

As far as posting the ring I do think it's tacky. I happen to have friends through an organization online from all over the country, and many of them have requested I post one. I'm thinking of giving in ONLY because they asked. I will not be making it my profile pic though.

SarahPLiz · February 2010

I called all of my close family and close friends immediately after it happenned (within 30 minutes). I then posted on facebook, with a picture of my ring. Yeah, it was probably tacky, but I was so freakin excited! FB is really the only way I communicate with a lot of distant family. Also, one of my bffs got engaged the same day and she posted the day after, just after she told all of her close family.

SO yeah, it may have been tacky, but it was my chosen form of communication. Im not a very formal person, so after I told all of the close people, I didn't see a reason not to share with the rest of my friends. My ring was not my profile pic for more than a day, though.

But, as a PP posted, be careful what information you put out there about your wedding. Those FB wedding registry things are annoying, and gift grabby, and possibly go out to people not invited to the wedding, which is just rude. Anytime anyone asked me about the date, I emailed them the answer, because not all of my 500+ FB friends are invited. BFF and I both had some chick from HS say she couldn't wait for her invitation to our weddings. We both laughed (privately). Its BFF"s second wedding, and I haven't seen this chick in 14 years, so neither one of us is inviting her. I have a small guest list that doesn't include some cousins that I communicate with often on FB, so I keep the wedding related statuses and talk to a minimum.

ireallywantapug · February 2010

I agree with most above that it's important to tell parents in person and any other immediate family at least over the phone first, then after that changing your relationship status is fine.

I do find it annoying when girls post a whole album of their ring the day after they get engaged. But I admit that I DID post ONE picture within an album that had some pictures of the two of us about a week later. People were asking to see it, I'm lazy with e-mail , and I don't tend to "friend" random acquaintances so anyone I have on FB I am actually close to and seemed to be interested in seeing it anyway. So I think it's okay within reasonable limits...

Trista <3 · February 2010

I was in Hungary at the time and I thought fb was the perfect way to tell all of my friends since we were going to be there for an additional week. We did call my parents, but I can't change my fb status yet because FI hasn't told someone yet for fear of a nuclear event.

I probably won't post a pic of the ring just because it's an Alexandrite and I don't need 30 people going "what's that?" Although I don't think it's tacky, you're excited, why not show everyone.

bullentini · February 2010

There are plenty of ways to take a picture of your ring and put it on FB, without it seeming tacky (if you are interested in doing so).

Having an "engagement album" is a very passive way of slipping in a ring shot. Having a close up picture with the two of you holding hands is also a cute idea to show off your ring.

But most importantly, you need to ask yourself why you want to show your ring on FB? Are you simply showing distant friends and family who don't live close enough to congratulate you? Or are you showing off how big your diamond is? There is a difference in attitude between the two.

JRichmond7 · February 2010

I did change my status once I was able to inform everyone close to me and waited a while after that until I was bombarded with "When are you going to change your status? Do you not want everyone to know? Its not facebook official yet!" Please.

I also uploaded a picture of my ring but again only because I was asked. I have a ton of family and friends out of state who wanted to see it. I countered with, "You didn't ask to see a picture of him and have you yet?"

PDXMartha · February 2010

After we told family and closest friends, I posted pictures from our weekend (we went on a snowshoeing weekend). In the middle I mentioned getting engaged.
I was surprised at the number of people who noticed (I didn't do it for that reason, though I admit I liked the responses that came out of the woodwork. I didn't realize that everyone goes through your pics!)
We updated our "engaged" status a few days later. We didn't use it to announce anything, though, just updating.
I think I might have a picture of my ring in that album (I know we took one, can't remember if I posted it). We were at Crater Lake, and there's a pic of my hand with the lake and caldera in the background. The scenery takes center stage on that one (and my hand is blurry). I have the most gorgeous ring (of course I think so) but nothing competes with the beauty of that place!

bblouin · February 2010

We waited awhile before changing our relationship status on facebook. We also put pictures of the engagement up on facebook and pictures of the ring up. I have a lot of family over seas and they are the main reason I have facebook, they kept on requesting I put pictures up so they could see it otherwise they never would, its how we keep in touch, I do not think that is tacky at all.

TaraNSmith03 · February 2010

I called or texted my close friends, and then late that evening I changed my fb status.

I have one picture of the ring posted in the middle of my Christmas 2009 album. My FI proposed on Christmas so I thought putting a picture of my ring in the album wouldn't be so bad. I had friends asking for it so I added it to the middle of my album.

karialex · February 2010

I told the important people in my life about our engagement and it was about a month later when I posted it on FB. I did post my ring picture as my profile pic for about 2 days and then moved it to an album of pictures we took the day of. It was definitely not my intention to be "braggy", I was just super excited! I did like that people were happy for me and expressed that happiness when I announced my engagement. But I was pretty darn bummed when one of my good friends didn't bother to tell me he was engaged. I found out through FB when I was checking up on him a month after he got engaged! His fiance posted her engagement ring picture as her profile pic for about a week and I don't think she was bragging, just excited like I was...

cukimerrydoll · February 2010

In Response to Facebook & Engagement Annoucements:
1. What do you think of switching your relationship status immediately? Do you/Did you/would you love or hate the flurry of public response received?
I didn't immediately post on Facebook. I think it's too important to let some people know in person before telling the world - especially in the world of smart phones, where some people will have that update as soon as it's posted.
We let our families know first, before it went public. There were a few people we told after, but thought the Facebook part was irrelevant, since those we told after don't use it.
I didn't get a flurry of responses, actually. Most people saw it coming.

2. Posting pics of your ring on Facebook; classy or not? And why do you think girls do it?
I didn't post mine, but my roommate did - because she puts everything on Facebook, and thought it was important enough to put up. I think some girls put it on, not to show it off, but because they are excited.

berrda04 · February 2010

I told everyone that really mattered before I updated. Other than that, people found out through facebook or other avenues.

as far as posting your ring, i did it. all your friends that care about you that may live far away will want to see it.. so instead of emailing it to 100 ppl I posted mine on facebook. You're excited about it! It's absolutely NOT materialistic. It's materialistic if you complain about the ring... i,e: it not being big enough or the cut was not what you wanted. that is materialistic.. and kinda trashy. but if you want to post your ring or anything else you want about your engagement or your wedding GO for it! It's YOUR facebook page and you can post WHATEVER you want.. and if anyone doesn't like it.. they can delete your posts.

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