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2nd reception

Reception Ideas

2nd reception

Ready to party? From food to music to dancing, dish here for all things receptions.<a href="mailto:messageboards@theknot.com"></a><p> </p>

Thanks for the unsolicited opinions about our plans.

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Reception Ideas

2nd reception

Ready to party? From food to music to dancing, dish here for all things receptions.<a href="mailto:messageboards@theknot.com"></a><p> </p>

Thanks for the unsolicited opinions about our plans.

Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5

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Forums > Wedding Boards > Reception Ideas > 2nd reception

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2nd reception

posted at 2/10/2012 11:30 AM EST on theknot.com

goodigirl

Joined on
11-08-2011

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Posts: 19

First: 11/10/2011

Last: 2/10/2012

Thanks for the unsolicited opinions about our plans.

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Re: 2nd reception

posted at 2/10/2012 12:11 PM EST on theknot.com

vsgal

Joined on
07-15-2008
CENTRAL FLORIDA

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First: 7/20/2009

Last: 5/4/2012

You get one reception. You are have a cake/champagne reception for the 75 guests that are invited to the actual wedding. You need to make sure this reception is not over a meal time. So you can have the ceremony @ 2:00 with reception from 3:00-5:00 or the ceremony at 8:30 with reception from 9:30-11:30. If you do any other time, you need to provide food on your dime.

The 2nd reception needs to be a regular party with no wedding related to it. No cake cutting, no wedding dress, no bouquet toss, no wedding celebration. You are basically telling these people that they are good enough to party with you and get you a gift, but not good enough attend the actual event. If you send invites out, you also need to host this party on your dime.

The only time it is acceptable to have a 2nd reception is if you have a truly small wedding. You would only invite immediate family. No aunts, uncles, cousins, or friends. The number in attendance should not go over 10% of the invites to the other party. So if you invite 10 people to the ceremony, you would could invite 100 to the party. Inviting 75 people to the wedding and then 150 more to the reception is rude and gift grabby. You don't have to invite everyone you have ever met. You need to decide what is important to you--having a big wedding and inviting all 225 people or sticking with the original 75. You don't get both.

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Re: 2nd reception

posted at 2/10/2012 12:14 PM EST on theknot.com

Rummi302

Joined on
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CINCINNATI

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First: 9/5/2011

Last: 3/1/2012

In Response to 2nd reception:

We're having a very small reception for our family and "like" family friends on a Friday night (less than 75 people total--we each have 3 siblings with families). Then we're having a smaller reception for our friends we know through a club that we met through (over 150 people in the club--we simply can't and don't want to have that big of a formal reception). So to include everyone, we're having a cake and champagne reception for all of these friends on the night after the wedding. We're planning on a 2 hour event with a champagne toast and a cake cutting, along with some music and the option for people to stay for dancing (it will be at a bar/restaurant where the club meets--they're shutting down for us for 2 hours but will allow us to stay as long as they can open to the public which we're fine with. For this second reception, we're going to use email invites (probably through Smilebox). 150 people is too many to get the addresses for and the casual nature of the event fits well with an email invite. I'm wondering if we should send an email STD sooner than the invite, though, so those people know they are not being excluded from our wedding celebration--we're just having one just for that group of people. We've tried to spread the word that we're having a small party but I really don't want feelings to be hurt and I want people to know we're including them in this part of our wedding.
Posted by goodigirl

By relegating these guests to the "second reception", you already will hurt their feelings. Just have the one reception and invite who you want to that. A tiered reception is rude because it lets the people invited to just one part know that they aren't that important to you.

Skip the second reception. You can have an open house, BBQ, any kind of non-wedding related party with these folks. But you can't redo the reception without being very rude.

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Re: 2nd reception

posted at 2/10/2012 12:18 PM EST on theknot.com

OBX2011

Joined on
05-23-2010
VIRGINIA

8246102356469869

Posts: 3239

First: 5/23/2010

Last: 5/24/2012

In Response to 2nd reception:

We're having a very small reception for our family and "like" family friends on a Friday night (less than 75 people total--we each have 3 siblings with families). Then we're having a smaller reception for our friends we know through a club that we met through (over 150 people in the club--we simply can't and don't want to have that big of a formal reception). So to include everyone, we're having a cake and champagne reception for all of these friends on the night after the wedding. We're planning on a 2 hour event with a champagne toast and a cake cutting, along with some music and the option for people to stay for dancing (it will be at a bar/restaurant where the club meets--they're shutting down for us for 2 hours but will allow us to stay as long as they can open to the public which we're fine with. For this second reception, we're going to use email invites (probably through Smilebox). 150 people is too many to get the addresses for and the casual nature of the event fits well with an email invite. I'm wondering if we should send an email STD sooner than the invite, though, so those people know they are not being excluded from our wedding celebration--we're just having one just for that group of people. We've tried to spread the word that we're having a small party but I really don't want feelings to be hurt and I want people to know we're including them in this part of our wedding.
Posted by goodigirl

You are in fact excluding them and feelings will more than likely be hurt.

If I received an invite to a cake & champagne celebration and not the actual wedding reception, I would be pretty offended. As if I am not good enough for the "real" reception. This also comes across as very gift-grabby.

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Re: 2nd reception

posted at 2/10/2012 12:30 PM EST on theknot.com

goodigirl

Joined on
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First: 11/10/2011

Last: 2/10/2012

Keep in mind not any of you really have all of the details--I simply asked a question regarding something we have thought much about, spoken with friends and family about, and feel to be appropriate given our group of friends. Who said anything about gifts? We don't anticipate gifts and in fact planned to put no gifts please. But heaven forbid anyone here make THAT assumption rather than that we're "gift grabby". No one managed the answer the question I asked, but rather gave their own opinions about something I didn't ask. Thank you, I will stick to the opinion of our families and friends.

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Re: 2nd reception

posted at 2/10/2012 12:39 PM EST on theknot.com

MyNameIsNot

Joined on
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ATLANTA

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Last: 5/23/2012

In Response to Re: 2nd reception:

You don't have to tell the whole story. Inviting people who weren't good enough for the real wedding to a consolation party is always going to hurt feelings.

Your friends and family will not tell you this because they don't want to upset you. You will end up offending a lot of people if you insist on going through with this. If your idea of a wedding is a tool to hurt people, this will work great.

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Re: 2nd reception

posted at 2/10/2012 12:45 PM EST on theknot.com

TiffannieF

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NORTHERN CALIFORNIA

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Last: 5/22/2012

In Response to Re: 2nd reception:

In Response to Re: 2nd reception : You don't have to tell the whole story. Inviting people who weren't good enough for the real wedding to a consolation party is always going to hurt feelings.

Your friends and family will not tell you this because they don't want to upset you. You will end up offending a lot of people if you insist on going through with this. If your idea of a wedding is a tool to hurt people, this will work great.
Posted by MyNameIsNot

EXACTLY!!!!!!!!

Don't take so many things personal, especially from strangers on the internet.

And your original post was quoted therefore deleting it is no good.

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Re: 2nd reception

posted at 2/10/2012 1:00 PM EST on theknot.com

OBX2011

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Last: 5/24/2012

In Response to Re: 2nd reception:

Why would we give you advice on something that is considered tacky? I certainly don't give advice on things that I don't agree with.

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Re: 2nd reception

posted at 2/10/2012 3:16 PM EST on theknot.com

edielaura

Joined on
08-14-2010
PITTSBURGH

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First: 8/16/2010

Last: 5/25/2012

In Response to 2nd reception:

Thanks for the unsolicited opinions about our plans.
Posted by goodigirl

You asked for it.

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Re: 2nd reception

posted at 2/11/2012 12:52 AM EST on theknot.com

CMGr

Joined on
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First: 6/4/2010

Last: 5/21/2012

Aw, shucks. I missed this one!
OP, here is the wording for your second tier invitations.

Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
request the pleasure of your company
at a second wedding reception
to be held the day after their wedding.
You aren't important enough to invite to the real reception.