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Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action

Reception Ideas

Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action

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Here is my dilemma:  I have a 6 close girlfriends plus 2 close sisters and have been in all their weddings.  My fiance litterally has no friends and the only person he can think of to stand

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Reception Ideas

Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action

Ready to party? From food to music to dancing, dish here for all things receptions.<a href="mailto:messageboards@theknot.com"></a><p> </p>

Here is my dilemma:  I have a 6 close girlfriends plus 2 close sisters and have been in all their weddings.  My fiance litterally has no friends and the only person he can think of to stand

Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5

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Forums > Wedding Boards > Reception Ideas > Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action

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Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action

posted at 2/10/2012 1:03 PM EST on theknot.com

helleb

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Last: 5/25/2012

Here is my dilemma: I have a 6 close girlfriends plus 2 close sisters and have been in all their weddings. My fiance litterally has no friends and the only person he can think of to stand up with him is his father. We are planning on having a intimate wedding but I feel a sad that I am missing out on bridesmaids. I want more than just 1 but I know he would feel sad or ashamed if we didn't have even numbers, especially since most of our 50 guests will be on my side. How do I NOT feel sad about missing out on the bridesmaid experience PLUS make ALL of my girlfriends feel more than a guest of the wedding w/out actually being bridesmaids.

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Re: Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action

posted at 2/10/2012 1:06 PM EST on theknot.com

Rummi302

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If you're having an intimate wedding, then 8 bridesmaids would be very over the top. It's fine to have uneven sides, but I'd skip having over 15% of your guests standing up for you.

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Re: Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action

posted at 2/10/2012 1:12 PM EST on theknot.com

helleb

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Last: 5/25/2012

Yeah lol that would be fairly over the top. Do you have any ideas though on how to make them feel more than a guest without being bridesmaids or how for me to not feel like I am missing out on the bridesmaids experience?

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Re: Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action

posted at 2/10/2012 1:16 PM EST on theknot.com

alithebride

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so have your 2 sisters. your friends will know how close you are and they dont need to be BMS (you being int heir weddigs has NOTHING to do iwth yours). you wont miss out on the BM experience. why can't they still help you plan and dress shop? they can! they dont need a BM title to do that! if you are such good friends and you want them to be involved explain the situation-if they're true friends they'll understand and embrace the opportunity to help you with out the baggage of buying a dress. you can still take special pics iwth them if you'd like.

DH and I are happily child-free!! No due date or toddler tickers here!!

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Re: Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action

posted at 2/10/2012 1:18 PM EST on theknot.com

Rummi302

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They can do everything a bridesmaid would normally do - hang out with you before the wedding while you get ready, go to the dress fitting, ooh and ahh over the plans (if they're into that). They won't be disappointed.

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Re: Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action

posted at 2/10/2012 1:40 PM EST on theknot.com

calliopeia2013

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In Response to Re: Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action:

This. Just have your sisters be your bridesmaids, and invite all of your friends to all the other bridesmaid-y stuff, like showers and the bachelorette party if you have them. They'll understadn that you're having a small wedding and can't have a zillion bridesmaids, and just picking your sisters is a completely reasonable choice.

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Re: Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action

posted at 2/10/2012 2:23 PM EST on theknot.com

dawnp917

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I am only have my 2 sisters as bridesmaids. Other friends are being involved in different ways. One is officiating for us, they've gone dress shopping with me, one is making my jewlelry, I will be asking one friend to make a toast or do a reading. The possibilities are endless if you want them to be involved wihtout having them in a BM.

August 2012 - Invites

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13 are missing out

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Re: Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action

posted at 2/10/2012 2:38 PM EST on theknot.com

jagore08

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Have your two sisters stand up with you and ask your friends to join you while you're getting ready for pictures.

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Re: Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action

posted at 2/10/2012 3:38 PM EST on theknot.com

ashleyvsmith

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I think family should be included... You can have 2 BMS and it won't seem too uneven. Later when you are freaking out about the 10,000 things to do you can delegate things to close girlfiriends. (ex: One brings favors and sets them out, one sets up the gift area, one brings some of the other items you will need but don't want to worry about when your trying to get ready... etc...) Later, during the reception (or a card/small gift in the mail...) give them a big thank you for being involved and lending a hand on your day.

I believe if close girlfriends know your dilema they will totally understand and be glad to do anything they can to help.

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Re: Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action

posted at 2/10/2012 3:45 PM EST on theknot.com

brindylou8412

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My sis-in-law had the same dilemma for she and my brother's wedding. She gave the girls who were not asked to be bridesmaids the task/title of "bouquet girls". They all wore the same style dress (different from the bridesmaids but matched each other), and each were given a flower for her bouquet. They sat on the end of the aisles and as my sis-in-law walked down the aisle each of the girls handed her a flower and at the end her mother tied the bouquet together. She had about 8 of them doing that. I don't know how it would work with real flowers because she used fake ones, but it kept jealousy down and prevented anyone from feeling too left out.

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Re: Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action

posted at 2/10/2012 3:47 PM EST on theknot.com

brindylou8412

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Also, they attended the rehearsal, dress selecting, etc. It was like she had 12 bridesmaids but it didn't look so crowded at the altar. :)

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Re: Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action

posted at 2/10/2012 5:43 PM EST on theknot.com

ceh789

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You could have your friends do readings - if you do 2 readings and have a pair do each reading that would work.

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Re: Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action

posted at 2/10/2012 8:21 PM EST on theknot.com

amanda1611t

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if you are going to have bridesmaids put some next to you and some next to him

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Re: Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action

posted at 2/10/2012 9:40 PM EST on theknot.com

RetreadBride

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I don't know where people get this idea about even sides.

The only people who are at the wedding to be paired up are the bride and groom.

When you look at your wedding album in twenty years you'll see the loving faces of friends. You won't count heads to see how many folks are in the photo, and calculate bride vs groom ratios.

You don't have to ask all your friends to be in the wedding party. Most people understand that a couple can't ask everyone to be a bridesmaid, or they'd have no guests.

Don't get so caught up in "Including" people that you end up handing out silly busywork. If it involves a chore - it's not an honor for the friend.

"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."

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Re: Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action

posted at 2/10/2012 10:13 PM EST on theknot.com

AurorasEnvy

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I'd just explained it to your friends like you said it here - that your FI would feel uncomfortable with you having so many attendants and him not really having any. I'm sure they would totally understand. One of my BMs got engaged the day after I did - she is in my wedding, but I wasn't in hers. It's totally fine.

Depending on how involved or excited they might be, you could ask them to dress shop, they could help you with wedding stuff if they are eager to (some girls are, some girls aren't so much into that), attend your shower or b-party if you have them. You could also invite them to get ready with you on the morning of.

Our wedding details! (click! Updated 3/23/12)

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Re: Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action

posted at 2/12/2012 3:00 PM EST on weddings.com

lavonashea

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Last: 2/12/2012

We had full wedding parties but wanted to include our brothers and sisters, so we had them walk down the aisle (the women wore red dresses, men wore red ties) before the "wedding party" then take a seat with their families in the audience. They all got corsages and boutounnieres. It was a great way to include them, but not have an overwhelming wedding party. You could do something similar with your friends, or like others have suggested, split them up equally on both sides of you and your groom.

The big thing to remember, there aren't really any "rules" to weddings, just traditions. It's a day to honor the ones you love and celebrate a new chapter in your life. Do whatever feels right to make it special for you and your husband.

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Re: Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action

posted at 2/13/2012 1:49 PM EST on theknot.com

alithebride

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Last: 5/24/2012

In Response to Re: Bridesmaids Pushed Out Of Action:

I think family should be included... You can have 2 BMS and it won't seem too uneven. Later when you are freaking out about the 10,000 things to do you can delegate things to close girlfiriends. (ex: One brings favors and sets them out, one sets up the gift area, one brings some of the other items you will need but don't want to worry about when youre trying to get ready... etc...) Later, during the reception (or a card/small gift in the mail...) give them a big thank you for being involved and lending a hand on your day. I believe if close girlfriends know your dilema they will totally understand and be glad to do anything they can to help.
Posted by ashleyvsmith

giving them 'jobs' is not the way to go with this.

DH and I are happily child-free!! No due date or toddler tickers here!!

Our annual December trip to Mexico!!

my read shelf:

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