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Asking for Gift Cards or Making a Wish List Instead? Or Private Registries?
Registering and Gifts
Asking for Gift Cards or Making a Wish List Instead? Or Private Registries?
Should you register? (The answer is a collective “YES!”) Chat about when, where, and what to register for here.
Hi Bees Wanted to get your opinion on asking for gift cards or making a wish list instead of a traditional registry. For complicated reasons with my fiance family and his wish that they not com
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Registering and Gifts
Asking for Gift Cards or Making a Wish List Instead? Or Private Registries?
Should you register? (The answer is a collective “YES!”) Chat about when, where, and what to register for here.
Hi Bees Wanted to get your opinion on asking for gift cards or making a wish list instead of a traditional registry. For complicated reasons with my fiance family and his wish that they not com
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Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34
Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:519acdda-a3d5-4cc3-838d-1aee0e956af8
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Asking for Gift Cards or Making a Wish List Instead? Or Private Registries?
posted at 2/2/2012 2:40 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
10-17-2010
NEW YORK 8203229362263107
Posts: 3
First: 2/2/2012
Last: 2/2/2012
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Hi Bees Wanted to get your opinion on asking for gift cards or making a wish list instead of a traditional registry. For complicated reasons with my fiance family and his wish that they not come to the wedding (though they are actively trying to get the information), we don't want our date or location of the wedding to be public or searchable. We are having a really hard time finding a store that will do this. We will most likely register at one local store, but we have guests coming from all over the world. The local mom and pop store is also a bit more expensive than the national chains (so guests might complain..though supporting local is cool) Is it tacky to just ask for gift cards? This way we wouldn't have the date public anywhere. My fiance and I also would generally prefer to pick out our own items when they go on sale or through special websites like foundry.com, gilthome.com (that are flash sample sales). We are also thinking of doing a honeymoon registry or a registry where you can ask for specific gifts (but are actually cash for buying museum memberships, special dinner, etc). I don't want to seem like we are just cash hungry, but we also live in a small apartment. My mom still thinks people will want to physically buy gifts. Any opinions. And if you did go this route, how did you politely word it on your website? Alternatively, does anyone know about registries that do not make you put in the date and/or have privacy features? Thanks!
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Re: Asking for Gift Cards or Making a Wish List Instead? Or Private Registries?
posted at 2/2/2012 2:46 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
07-28-2011
NORTHEAST OHIO 6755474680336875
Posts: 620
First: 8/2/2011
Last: 5/19/2012
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Cash registries (and honeymoon registries, since they are just cash registries dressed up as something else) are rude. Your guests are fully capable of giving you cash or gift cards without being told it's appreciated. Everyone appreciates cash.
If you don't need physical items much, just create a very small registry of things you can upgrade (new towels? a new skillet? whatever you think you might be able to replace) for people who absolutely must give you a physical gift. Otherwise, most people will read between the lines and give you cash instead.
If you don't want people to know when your wedding is, just sign up for your registry with a different date than the real wedding.
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Re: Asking for Gift Cards or Making a Wish List Instead? Or Private Registries?
posted at 2/2/2012 2:47 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
08-14-2010
PITTSBURGH 7873174069018669
Posts: 18408
First: 8/16/2010
Last: 5/25/2012
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In Response to Asking for Gift Cards or Making a Wish List Instead? Or Private Registries?:
Hi Bees Wanted to get your opinion on asking for gift cards or making a wish list instead of a traditional registry. For complicated reasons with my fiance family and his wish that they not come to the wedding (though they are actively trying to get the information), we don't want our date or location of the wedding to be public or searchable. We are having a really hard time finding a store that will do this. We will most likely register at one local store, but we have guests coming from all over the world. The local mom and pop store is also a bit more expensive than the national chains (so guests might complain..though supporting local is cool) Is it tacky to just ask for gift cards? This way we wouldn't have the date public anywhere. My fiance and I also would generally prefer to pick out our own items when they go on sale or through special websites like foundry.com, gilthome.com (that are flash sample sales). We are also thinking of doing a honeymoon registry or a registry where you can ask for specific gifts (but are actually cash for buying museum memberships, special dinner, etc). I don't want to seem like we are just cash hungry, but we also live in a small apartment. My mom still thinks people will want to physically buy gifts. Any opinions. And if you did go this route, how did you politely word it on your website? Alternatively, does anyone know about registries that do not make you put in the date and/or have privacy features? Thanks!
Posted by indyjones51
Bees? As in Wedding Bee?
Give a different date and city as the time/location. Not that hard.
Look through some other posts on here. You should get an idea of how people perceive honeymoon registries.
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Re: Asking for Gift Cards or Making a Wish List Instead? Or Private Registries?
posted at 2/2/2012 2:48 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
10-17-2010
NEW YORK 8203229362263107
Posts: 3
First: 2/2/2012
Last: 2/2/2012
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Thanks! We just don't want to confuse our guests. Do you think that giving a fake date will add confusion since almost all of our guests will be coming in from out of town?
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Re: Asking for Gift Cards or Making a Wish List Instead? Or Private Registries?
posted at 2/2/2012 2:51 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
07-06-2010
NEW JERSEY 8667140365315198
Posts: 2935
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Last: 5/24/2012
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In Response to Re: Asking for Gift Cards or Making a Wish List Instead? Or Private Registries?:
In Response to Asking for Gift Cards or Making a Wish List Instead? Or Private Registries? : Bees? As in Wedding Bee? Give a different date and city as the time/location. Not that hard. Look through some other posts on here. You should get an idea of how people perceive honeymoon registries.
Posted by edielaura
Yep...she posted the same thing on Wedding Bee. (LINK)
Shockingly, there are actually a few 'bees' who agree that this is a bad idea.
ETA: This sounds REALLY familiar. I swear I read this post on here a few months ago...
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Re: Asking for Gift Cards or Making a Wish List Instead? Or Private Registries?
posted at 2/2/2012 2:53 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
08-14-2010
PITTSBURGH 7873174069018669
Posts: 18408
First: 8/16/2010
Last: 5/25/2012
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In Response to Re: Asking for Gift Cards or Making a Wish List Instead? Or Private Registries?:
Thanks! We just don't want to confuse our guests. Do you think that giving a fake date will add confusion since almost all of our guests will be coming in from out of town?
Posted by indyjones51
If you're worried about it, I would use the real information. It just asks for the date and city, not the actual location of the wedding.
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Re: Asking for Gift Cards or Making a Wish List Instead? Or Private Registries?
posted at 2/2/2012 3:33 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
11-19-2009
ATLANTA 5045942541864637
Posts: 7710
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Last: 5/23/2012
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Wait, you are worried about his family crashing with info they find on a registry, but you are making a wedding website? This doesn't quite add up.
If you are that worried about crashers, hire a bouncer.
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Re: Asking for Gift Cards or Making a Wish List Instead? Or Private Registries?
posted at 2/2/2012 6:24 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
10-17-2010
NEW YORK 8203229362263107
Posts: 3
First: 2/2/2012
Last: 2/2/2012
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My apologies. We do have a wedding website that is password protected. Sadly, alotof my fiance's attention has been on making sure his family does not come. I want to try to not make nervous on our special day and we are trying to find a way to register for gifts (as many of our guests and even non-guests have been asking about our registries) while keeping the wedding information private to those in the know.
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Re: Asking for Gift Cards or Making a Wish List Instead? Or Private Registries?
posted at 2/2/2012 7:07 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
07-17-2009
NORTHERN CALIFORNIA 9919833933985715
Posts: 3328
First: 3/8/2011
Last: 5/22/2012
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In Response to Re: Asking for Gift Cards or Making a Wish List Instead? Or Private Registries?:
In Response to Re: Asking for Gift Cards or Making a Wish List Instead? Or Private Registries? : Yep...she posted the same thing on Wedding Bee. ( LINK ) Shockingly, there are actually a few 'bees' who agree that this is a bad idea. ETA: This sounds REALLY familiar. I swear I read this post on here a few months ago...
Posted by rlavach
I am THAT nosey that I totally went and checked it out! lol.
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Re: Asking for Gift Cards or Making a Wish List Instead? Or Private Registries?
posted at 2/2/2012 9:26 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
12-19-2005
NORTH CAROLINA 210124875002240
Posts: 12573
First: 7/20/2009
Last: 5/24/2012
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Asking for money is a faux pas. Honeymoon and house registries are still a request for cash. Gift cards are the same.
What about registering with Amazon? You can always enter a fake date.
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"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."
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Re: Asking for Gift Cards or Making a Wish List Instead? Or Private Registries?
posted at 2/6/2012 12:47 AM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
09-05-2005
PITTSBURGH 969750437509409
Posts: 179
First: 1/13/2012
Last: 5/16/2012
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Do what feels most comfortable to you and your guests.
How exactly would undesirables find your wedding through a registry, though? Most only list the couple's name, all the traditional registry options I researched didn't ask for a date or a location.
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