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Struggling with receiving gifts?
Registering and Gifts
Struggling with receiving gifts?
Should you register? (The answer is a collective “YES!”) Chat about when, where, and what to register for here.
We are a very frugal couple and we are struggling with registry ideas (which we know a lot of people are waiting to hear about). I can really only think of five things that I really need and would buy
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Registering and Gifts
Struggling with receiving gifts?
Should you register? (The answer is a collective “YES!”) Chat about when, where, and what to register for here.
We are a very frugal couple and we are struggling with registry ideas (which we know a lot of people are waiting to hear about). I can really only think of five things that I really need and would buy
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Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34
Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:586f6a0e-57b4-4d6f-bf50-8b60b0ea8e7d
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Struggling with receiving gifts?
posted at 2/5/2012 9:02 AM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
10-23-2011
NORTH CAROLINA 7567549559957205
Posts: 124
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Last: 5/25/2012
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We are a very frugal couple and we are struggling with registry ideas (which we know a lot of people are waiting to hear about).
I can really only think of five things that I really need and would buy new, since I typically buy everything for our house that we need from thrift stores, garage sales, craigslist, ect. (linens and similar items are the exception of course!) We've lived together for two years, so we really "need" pretty much nothing. Additionally, we choose to live in a very small house, so we have to make sure that anything we bring in is essential because it takes up precious space.
I also just feel so uncomfortable accepting gifts from people. I don't really like attention and/or people spending money on me (especially on things I'm not dying to have) so I probably wouldn't have a registry at all if our whole church wasn't so excited about it.
Our Sunday school leaders suggested that we have a "Home and Garden" shower, which I thought was a fantastic idea since maybe we could pick some things we genuinely need for our garden.
But... we have so people who will be checking out the registries.
We might need more ideas and all that comes to my mind is "plant a tree in the couple's honor" or "donate to X charity in honor of this couple" or "donate to our child adoption fund"... not exactly typical ideas.
So kind of along the lines of home and garden, or knowing that we have horses, my FI loves motorcycles and we're both really outdoorsey... does anybody have any ideas for types of registries or alternative ideas?
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Re: Struggling with receiving gifts?
posted at 2/5/2012 9:47 AM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
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PHILADELPHIA 7821157338216788
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Last: 5/13/2012
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I'm in a similar situation, but my future sister in law pointed out something very important.
Even though you may not need it NOW you will probably need it in the future. What happens when you do get a bigger house, have children(if you are), and start hosting family dinners. If you are entertaining in the future you want to be able to accommodate your guests.
I would skip the "donation in honor and "charity" stuff. The thought is good but if they are anything like my family and future in laws they would be offended to not be able to "shower" the new couple with gifts. (and to not have a selection...)
There has to be things you need upgrades on, new towels, new bed linens, bathroom items, kitchen items, glassware and china, appliances, anything domestic
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Re: Struggling with receiving gifts?
posted at 2/5/2012 11:20 AM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
03-14-2011
CINCINNATI 4997357358528073
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Last: 5/25/2012
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I know it sucks, I'm the same way.
Here's the thing..people are going to want to buy you stuff. And they will, even if you don't have a registary. So you may as well just register for things that you wouldn't mind having before you get a house full of crap that you hate. Make the registry small. If someone offers to host a shower for you it's okay to decline. When wedding time comes hopefully people will take the hint that you don't want stuff for the home and I would imagine they would be a little more likely to just give cash gifts.
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June 2012
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Re: Struggling with receiving gifts?
posted at 2/5/2012 11:22 AM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
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CONNECTICUT 9882479812583126
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In Response to Re: Struggling with receiving gifts?:
There has to be things you need upgrades on, new towels, new bed linens, bathroom items, kitchen items, glassware and china, appliances, anything domestic
Posted by daniellelea1985
This.
I totally get the whole frugal, living-within-your-means lifestyle, FI and I try to be the same way. This is the perfect opportunity to upgrade to some of the nicer things that you wouldn't normally buy for yourself! I know it feels weird accepting gifts from people, but remember, these are people who love and support you, and if they didn't want to buy you something, they wouldn't even check the registry. One thing that really stuck with me when FI and I registered for at BBB is, "This is probably the only time in your life that people will line up to buy you nice things." Again, people want to do this. Trust that they will choose something for you that they are excited about giving you and that they can afford to give you.
If you normally buy used or inexpensive items, think about what you would dream of having in a "nicer" version. Are you drinking coffee out of chipped mugs? Eating off of mismatched dishes? Register for things that you can replace so that you aren't filling your small home with too much stuff (and you can donate or recycle the things you replace!).
Just let yourself warm up to the idea and you will be fine. :)
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Re: Struggling with receiving gifts?
posted at 2/5/2012 11:24 AM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
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Oh, and as far as the shower goes, a home and garden shower sounds like a really cute idea!
I've also seen recipe showers, stock the bar showers (if you and FI drink/entertain), lingerie showers, and even Christmas ornament showers. This will satisfy the people who want to give you a shower without adding to your piles of stuff in your apartment. :)
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Re: Struggling with receiving gifts?
posted at 2/5/2012 12:17 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
10-23-2011
NORTH CAROLINA 7567549559957205
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Those are cute ideas! ^
Thanks guys, I'm glad I'm not alone :)
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Re: Struggling with receiving gifts?
posted at 2/5/2012 12:37 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
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NORTH CAROLINA 210124875002240
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I understand your dilemma. I LOVE to host parties and pick out presents for other people.....but I feel embarrassed and even guilty when people do the same for me.
The best thing you can do is accept that these people think highly of you, and are giving you gifts out of that love and respect. A registry isn't a demand for gifts.....it's a wish list. Nobody "has" to use it, and an inquiry about the registry indicates that they want to give you a gift.
Look around for things to upgrade or replace. You can also donate old stuff and register for new. Get a clipboard and walk from room to room in your house. What's in there that needs to be replaced? What isn't there that you'd enjoy? (Gourmet cookware, lawn and garden equipment, new throw pillows for the couch, matching toothbrush holder, wastebasket and tissue cover.....)
The only thing you shouldn't ask for is cash, or anything resembling cash, like gift cards.
Registering is fun. Enjoy yourself.
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"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."
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Re: Struggling with receiving gifts?
posted at 2/5/2012 5:11 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
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I like all of pp's ideas. If you register at a department store you could put luggage on your registry if you like to travel. If you go somewhere like Bed Bath and Beyond they have a lot of space-saving items for storing clothes, linens, and etc. which might be useful for your home. You can keep it small-ish just for people who are dead set on a boxed gift and you definitely don't have to stick to dishes, glassware, and linens if you don't need those things!
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Anticipation...Anticipa-a-tion...
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Re: Struggling with receiving gifts?
posted at 2/5/2012 6:45 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
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In addition to all of the suggestions mentioned above, it may be helpful to rethink the type of store where you register. If you register at Sears, for example, you could include more of the "home and garden" items you are actually in need of, such as outdoor garden tools, household tools, and potting items, in addition to the more traditional items. You may want to also look into local hardware shops to see if they offer registry services.
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Re: Struggling with receiving gifts?
posted at 2/5/2012 6:57 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
10-23-2011
NORTH CAROLINA 7567549559957205
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Last: 5/25/2012
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Thank you so much guys! You've all given me a lot to think about!
I really think the space saving things would be great... but something I would never buy myself. Perfect registry item!
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Re: Struggling with receiving gifts?
posted at 2/6/2012 11:24 PM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
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ATLANTA 8038320828154992
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Ditto PP about Sears. Also check out Amazon, and even a local home depot. Home depot requires you to register in-store, but you could do a neat springtime sort of thing where you revamp your yard and maybe plant a tree like you suggested to mark your wedding day :)
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Re: Struggling with receiving gifts?
posted at 2/7/2012 9:42 AM EST
on theknot.com
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Joined on
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NEW JERSEY 8667140365315198
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In Response to Re: Struggling with receiving gifts?:
Ditto PP about Sears. Also check out Amazon, and even a local home depot. Home depot requires you to register in-store, but you could do a neat springtime sort of thing where you revamp your yard and maybe plant a tree like you suggested to mark your wedding day :)
Posted by hoffse
That is so beautiful! Man, if I didn't live in an apartment I'd totally do that! Then again, I am a tree-hugger :D
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