WR- Inviting Coworkers?

Steph0871 · September 2010

Ok, this will be long and confusion, but I promise a CN. So I currently work in a huge department, but about 50 people in my office. I'm currently on a team of 8, but I'm about to change positions to a team of 4. I know the 'new' team way better, so I want to invite all of them to the wedding. My current team, I'd love to invite two of the people, but not the rest....

I should mention that almost everyone I work with is at least 20+ years older than me, so I'm not really close to a lot of them. The few I want to invite are the ones I've done happy hour with before, etc.

So basically (CN!)... can I pick and choose coworkers? Or should I invite everyone from the one group?

BecW2be · September 2010

I picked and choosed.

I considered if I spent any time at all with anyone outside of work, and those were the ones I invited. It was a small wedding, though, and all but one co-worker completely understood. After I beat the shiit out of her out behind our offices, she understood, too!

jennylove810 · September 2010

I work in a small-ish office of about 25 people, and only invited a few, though I tried to be somewhat 'across the board' about it.

I invited my fellow DJs and the 'bosses' at the radio station (my supervisor, the VP, and the sales manager), and I invited our 3 sales ladies. And one news guy who is my age and I like him quite a bit.

Maybe it was a faux-pas to not invite everyone, but no one has given me any attitude about it so far. I'm not a big fan of the 'it's your day' phrase, but I'm only inviting people to the wedding who I WANT to be there, not who I HAVE to invite, and it's not a decision I regret.

I know this wasn't exactly what you were looking for, but hopefully it gave you some perspective.

heartxsongs · September 2010

From what I've seen from my lurking the boards and my own opinion, I'd agree with what Bec did, that you should just invite the ones to which you feel close. You aren't required to invite anyone out of obligation (unless they are paying for the wedding I'd think); you should just invite the people with which you want to share that special day.

JennaV26 · September 2010

I worked in a very small office (think 10 people) while planning my wedding and there were 2 people I had major problems with (i.e. inappropriate comments constantly being made in my presence, a problem with my health insurance being cancelled without my knowledge for 3 months while still taking the money out of my paycheck*) so I invited everyone but those individuals.

Given I left that job two weeks before I sent out invites so I wasn't there to deal with the awkwardness. But your situation sounds A-OK!

*I'm obviously still bitter.

jennylove810 · September 2010

Jenna, I remember you talking about your old job. I'd be bitter, too.

K Byte · September 2010

You can pick and choose, just try not to talk about the wedding at work too much. I didn't invite 1 (now former, because I don't work there anymore lol) coworker because I found him obnoxious.

JennaV26 · September 2010

Yeah girl, I'm definitely glad to be out of there. I feel like I know some better warning signs this time around. Ya live, ya learn I guess.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · September 2010

I was having a problem with this issue too. I work in a small department (about 8 people) but I work really closely with a couple other departments. There are a couple people I can't STAND in my department, and a few others that I can't stand in the other departments. I kinda wanted to pick and choose... but I didn't want to look like a douche.

My reason is this; I wouldn't feel right about not inviting everyone in radio and then inviting a few people from TV. Or having to deal with inviting people from TV, and not from Membership.

In the end, I decided to just invite all the people in Radio, and then, our CEO.

I don't think any of the people that I don't really want to come will actually come (my wedding falls on a big event my company is putting on, and our director is basically running it). But yeah. I'm just inviting people in my department.

[Deleted User] · September 2010

There are about 11 people on my team anf some 40 in the department. I invited 3. Most of them don't even know my last name, and didn't know I was getting married until I left for a week for the HM.

I think it's fine to pick and choose, but like everyone says on here, make sure yuo don't talk the wedding up to a bunch of people then not invite them. That might cause some hard feelings.

Steph0871 · September 2010

I try really hard not to talk about the wedding.... but most of the people I work with are 50 year old ladies who have daughters my age, so they always ask about it. I try to be vague "oh! it's going well, thanks." Most of them aren't expecting an invite, so I'm not too worried. I just didn't know if I was being overtly rude or anything.

Thanks for the feedback!

HobokensFury · September 2010

I work in a huge school of 250 teachers/admins. I'm only planning to invite the 5 that I consider friends.

erollis · September 2010

We will be inviting 2 of fiancés co workers who were at our proposal (they helped him plan it). They are also in a different department that works closely with his. The invites will be sent to their homes. He also doesn't talk about the wedding at work unless asked directly about it. If we had the space to invite everyone we would.

Just invite who you are the closet to. Send invites to their homes and don't talk wedding stuff at the office. A good thing to do would be to give everyone in the office announcements after your married. They would say that you got married and what your new name is.

Steph0871 · September 2010

Thanks again!

Everyone at the office knows I'm getting married, so that's not a secret or anything. The day after we got engaged, one of the guys I work with (kind of the joker of the office) went around telling everyone I got stoned the night before

Almost everyone I work with (except 1 other staff and our students) is over the age of 30, probably 40. So I think everyone is just excited to talk about 'young people' stuff.

My only big concern is the one full time staff I supervise. Even though I'm technically her supervisor, we're more like coworkers (we share the front desk.) I dont' want to not include her, but I don't want her to feel like she has to come, and I really don't want presents from anyone at work. I ended up just inviting her, so whatever.

pokepoke27 · September 2010

I answer the following questions when deciding if someone should be invited to my wedding.

Do I want them there?

Do I see them enough for it to matter if I offend them by not inviting them?

Are they supposed to be there?

So, for example, the one cousin you really don't like would probably get an invite because they really should get one and you'll have to deal with people not liking your decision. Not inviting Betty from accounting isn't going to cause you too much grief.

WR- Inviting Coworkers?

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