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Always, Always A Bridesmaid

slgirl21slgirl21 member
5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
in Wedding Party
HI All!

A friend from college is getting married and I'm really happy and excited for her!

Here's the thing she'swrote me an email asking me to be part of her wedding as a bridesmaid...we were really close in college then went our separate ways, she lives in another state and we reconnected through FB. I've been a bridesmaid 9 times now and I love the role and being there for my friends on there big day, but over the course of being a bridesmaid I know how expensive it all can be and since she lives in another state , I then have to pay for travel expenses, and I currently work 7 days a week working  too part time jobs that pay just alittle bit more then minium wage, I can barely pay for my mortage, let alone any other bills I need to pay how do I politely say no and just be a guest at the wedding without hurting her feels.

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Re: Always, Always A Bridesmaid

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    msuprincess04msuprincess04 member
    5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper First Comment
    edited May 2012
    Just tell her that while you are honored and touched that she thought of you, you are just unavailable to be a bridesmaid and would rather be a guest. If you want to, and you in no way need to, you can tell her time and money are tight right now and prevent it. 

    Either way just make a big fuss that you can't wait to share her special day as a guest and you are so excited for her.
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
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    ShellipuppyShellipuppy
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    I agree w/msuprincess, if you an't afford it, just be honest with her. Let her know how special it makes you feel but at this time it's just not possible.
    I actually wish one of my maids had done that b/c right now I am picking up slack i didn't expect too.

    On another note, i thought i was one of the few that had been a bridesmaid that many times. My number is 10 & actually a huge joke in my group of friends. I have storage tubs full of dresses.
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    slgirl21slgirl21 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    edited May 2012
    Thanks Girls for the advice. I think she would understand because she knows what I'm sorta going through, not all in detail.

    Shellipuppy.... I only kept one of my dresses because I can re wear it, its more like a cocktail dress, but the other dresses I donated to a charity in my area called Beccas Closet, its for girls you can not afford prom dresses and I had alot...i felt like Katherine Heigle in 27 dresses!

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    eureka30030eureka30030
    First Comment
    edited May 2012
    We are in the same situation, I moved out of state after college but I would really like my old roomie to be in the wedding party. However, I am totally preparing myself for her to say no due to financial reasons. If this were the case I would 100% understand, my feelings wouldn't be hurt at all- I know what's it like to have to skip out on something important to you because of lack of funds. This being said, If she did decline due to finances, I agree with stagemanager14- I would work my hardest to make it affordable for her, and try to make her only out of pocket costs the travel itself... 
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