I got engaged last June and after several months of trying to figure out who I wanted as my bridal party, I was finally satisfied with who I chose. Then FI tells me that his mom had said "Well FSIL is going to be a BM right?" FI said he didn't know, and it was never brought up again. No one said anything to me about making her a BM, so I ignored it. FF to yesterday, I find out FMIL is "upset" that FSIL isn't a BM. Well all of my BMs were asked and the dresses were ordered last Wed, so I felt like it was too late and she could suck it up. Last night we went over to their house, and again, they would not say anything to me about anything. They wait until FSIL and I are gone and then b*tch out FI because she's not in the wedding (she is the only sibling). Well I finally sucked it up and just asked her because I dont' want to deal with this behind-my-back BS anymore. I told her she has until Monday to call the dress shop and place her order. I'm not letting her see the dress or know what it looks like. If they want her in the wedding so bad, they can suck it and wear what I give her. Now this is why I am so angry--I can NOT stand her!! FI and I have been dating for over 6 years. FSIL introduced us, and spent the first 3 years doing everything she could to make sure her parents hated me and everything thought I was some horrible person. She made up so many lies about me while in college, like I was an alcoholic who skipped class because I was just there for the parties, and that I was a thief who stole things from work so I wouldn't have to pay for them. She used to cry if I wouldn't let her watch Jeopardy or Simpsons reruns when we were college roommates and then call her mom and tell her how mean I was and that I was an immature brat. Her parents believed every word, and still think it's all true. I could go on and on, but I don't really feel like it at this point.In any case, it really makes me mad that I am essentially having to have a BM who has never and will never support our relationship or marriage, and uses every opportunity to put me down and talk smack behind my back. FI doesn't want her in the party either, but thinks its just "easier" that way. Luckily the wedding is only 6 months away, so once its over I don't have to deal with it anymore. I'm trying really hard not to let it get to me, but after all the crap she's done to me over the last 6 years, I'm having a hard time. Please don't flame me---there is a LOT more to this story that would fill an entire book, so I'm sorry if I come off as the bad person here. I don't even necessarily need advice unless you've dealt with a similar situation. I mainly just needed to vent, so thanks for reading all that.