Wedding Party

Final Bridesmaid Selections? Help!

Let me start off by saying I'm the type of person that hates to hurt feelings and I really care how other people feel and react to situations, and yes even though this is my wedding and I should do what I want I still want to lookout for other people and how they feel. That being said,  i'm having a difficult time deciding whether I want just family in the bridal party or if I want to include friends?

I don't want to go over 6 bridesmaid and with having my first pick of bridemaids (being family) I am at 4. The two friends I would choose are currently girlfriends of 2 of the groomsman and have been my close friends for years now. The only downside is there is one of my other friends (and soon to be cousin-in-law) whos husband is the best man and her son is the ring bearer, but she would be 7 and like I said I only want 6 tops, plus I feel I would only be including her to not hurt her feelings. We used to be best friends but drifted apart last year, we still hang out and see each other but not as best friends might do. 
But Im afraid around the time we were close I told her if I ever got married to him ( my current fiance) she would be in the bridal party. I dont want her to hold it against me that I said that in the past or cause any drama if I end up choosing my close friends to be in the bridal party and not her but at the same time I dont want to hurt her feelings at all. Is there another role I could put her in so she felt included? Or do I just let things go the way they are and see what happens?

But the REAL question is do I take the risk and choose to make it 6 with friends or play it safe with family at 4?!

Re: Final Bridesmaid Selections? Help!

  • Why do you only want six tops?



  • Ask who you are closest with.  If you want the seventh girl, just ask her.  If not, don't.  I think in reality people are hurt for a total of 5 minutes when not asked to be in a WP.  Then they move on and are thankful they don't have to buy a dress!
  • Have her do a reading, and put the people you really want standing next to you when you get married up there.  
  • Most likely, if she is going to have an issue with not being a bridesmaid, having her hand out programs or something won't make her feel any better. But that's not necessarily something you should have to change your plans for.

    If your only reason not to have her is because she is seventh choice, up the number of bridesmaids by one. If it's because you don't feel close to her anymore, don't have her in it. If you're going to have readings as part of the ceremony, ad you really want her to be a part of it, have her do one (as PP said). 

    Honestly, it would be rude of her to ask about it or make assumptions. Has she asked about it since you got engaged? I just had an issue with someone who hinted at being in my bridal party even before I got engaged. I recently saw her, and she asked point blank who would be in my party. I told her that two male family members would be. She looked crushed, and I felt horrible. But I also was annoyed with the fact that she'd asked. That makes me sound really mean, but I'm honestly not. There are just some things we have control of, and others we don't.
  • Your profile says your wedding is next June. If this is still correct, I would wait to choose your bridal party until at least this summer, and really you can wait until the fall. There is nothing for them to do until about 6 months out, when they need to order dresses. Relationships can change between now and your wedding, even with family. SO many brides come here asking how to "remove" a BM because they asked too early or for the wrong reasons, and you can't do that without ending the relationship.

    So I would put off this decision until at least August. If anyone asks, just say, "Oh we're just enjoying being engaged right now! We haven't decided on our plans for a WP yet. Have you watched the Voice lately?" 

    Numbers shouldn't matter. Choose the people you want beside you. Don't worry about uneven sides. If your FI has less or more than you do, it's NBD. 
    April Siggy Challenge-Wedding Escape: Reading HG/dreaming about Peeta.... Image and video hosting by TinyPic Wedding Countdown Ticker Bio-Updated 4/22**
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