Joined on
12-03-2011
SAN DIEGO 6629585440832419
Posts: 473
First: 12/22/2011
Last: 5/21/2012
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Thank you ladies! I actually just read another thread on this board re: a similar situation. There was some pretty helpful advice there. I'll re-post my question though in case anyone has other opinions or thoughts.
FI and I got engaged last November. We were so excited that we totally jumped the gun and asked our BP right away! Our wedding is not 'til June 2013. We anticipate having between 60-75 guests. We each have seven BP members.
I have one sister and two stepsisters. My sister and I are close and she is a BM. At this point neither of my stepsisters are BM's. I am close with one of my stepsisters (we'll call her A) but not with the other (we'll call her B). A and I keep in touch. We talk and hang out since we both live in Southern California. B and I do not keep in touch. She lives out-of-state and over the past three years, I have seen her only once in person and have never talked to her otherwise.
After the initial post-engagement frenzy died down I realized that I wanted A to be a BM. I thought I would ask her and not B since we are not close. Then I realized that was a bad idea with the potential of lots of hurt feelings. So now I am trying to decide whether I should ask both of my stepsisters, A and B, to be BM's, or if there is another special way they could participate in the ceremony like reading one of our favorite scriptures or prayers.
After reading some other threads here and talking with my mom I am leaning toward asking my stepsisters to be BM's. The opinions I've read here are that (1) it doesn't matter whether the bride and groom's BP numbers match or not and (2) the number of the BP relative to the number of guests doesn't matter. True?
Another concern is that asking B may put her in an awkward situation if she doesn't WANT to be a BM. We consider each other family but it's no secret that we are not close. My mom commented that B may not want to be a BM since "it's not really her thing", and also that there is a good chance B will not even be able to attend the wedding due to work. I don't want her to feel obligated to be a BM or put her through the stress of figuring out her work schedule and finances, just because she feels she has to say yes. Is this something that I should just not worry about and go ahead and ask?
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