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Worried..

Wedding Party

Worried..

Are uneven sides okay? (Yes!) Can you kick out a pregnant bridesmaid? (No!) Ask the toughest wedding party questions here.

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Wedding Party

Worried..

Are uneven sides okay? (Yes!) Can you kick out a pregnant bridesmaid? (No!) Ask the toughest wedding party questions here.

Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37

Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:2362c9ec-59cc-4d95-bb79-42d2df6e2126

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Forums > Wedding Boards > Wedding Party > Worried..

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Worried..

posted at 2/6/2012 4:11 PM EST on theknot.com

Tahlora

Joined on
01-23-2012

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Posts: 133

First: 1/24/2012

Last: 3/29/2012

I have two sisters that are my BM's, we have not decided who wants to be MoH but none of us are concerned about that. I also have a friend that I adore, we don't see eachother or talk as much as we used to due to different lifestyles but when we do it is pretty effortless and I am thinkng about asking her, we have been friends since grd 4. And then there is my FSI, we get along alright but don't really hang out or have much in common. My man only has two GM so far, there is one other he might ask.
One is his older brother, who is getting married in july, his FW is really nice, and she asked Our FSI to be kind of a honorary BM, she gets to wear a different style dress than the BM, same color and sits in the front row with the younger sister of the bride.
So I am wondering if I should ask my FSI to be a bridesmaid(she's been hinting) or a honorary one as well or?? I dont want to step on any toes , including the other FSI thats getting married. My FH's family already has issues with us getting married and I don't want anymore problems :S And If I ask the one FSI do I ask the then to be married one too??? Any advise would be great.
Thank you

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Re: Worried..

posted at 2/6/2012 4:18 PM EST on theknot.com

jsbt2014

Joined on
08-06-2009
BALTIMORE

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Posts: 48

First: 8/14/2009

Last: 4/26/2012

You can ask anyone you want to be in your wedding. Do you get along with them and genuinely want them to stand up with you, or are you just trying to make everyone else happy? If your answer is the latter, it seems that those situations don't go over very well.

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Re: Worried..

posted at 2/6/2012 4:39 PM EST on theknot.com

MyNameIsNot

Joined on
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ATLANTA

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Posts: 7710

First: 11/20/2009

Last: 5/23/2012

If you feel close to her, ask her.

Don't ask her to be an honorary BM. Honorary means she can't be at the wedding. (Usually it's used for someone that is admitted, dead or abroad.)

Also, don't let your FI's side dictate who you ask. No one cares if sides are even.

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Re: Worried..

posted at 2/6/2012 5:05 PM EST on theknot.com

mbcdefg

Joined on
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NEW JERSEY

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First: 7/12/2009

Last: 5/25/2012

Ask anyone you wish to be a bridesmaid.

Don't ask people to be an honorary bridesmaid, especially if you're going to tell them what they should wear. Either ask them or don't. Reasonable people won't get offended if you don't ask them to be in the bridal party (not every friend can be up there with you, after all, or else you'd have no guests!), but people WILL get pretty miffed if you ask them to be an "honorary" member because they'll think, "Geez, what's really stopping her from asking me to be a REAL bridesmaid if she supposedly wants to include me that much?"

Don't do it halfassed. Either ask someone or don't. There's no shame in not asking someone. But making up positions for them is where things start to get silly and weird.

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Re: Worried..

posted at 2/6/2012 5:58 PM EST on theknot.com

Tahlora

Joined on
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Posts: 133

First: 1/24/2012

Last: 3/29/2012

The hororary thing is what my FH brothers FW is doing, I'm not sure if thats what she is calling it tho, thats just what someone said at some point. But I am just concerned that if I ask my FSI that it will upset the other bride, like I am trying to one up her I guess? And then she might feel more guilty and the FH family might (will) give her a really hard time about why she didnt aske the FSI to be a BM when I did. I just don't know where the happy medium is. And as to asking who I want, I have, my sisters and I am going to ask my friend when I see her, but that wont be enough for my soon to be in-laws, they have been giving the other bride a hard time and she included their daughter as much as she is inculding her own sister and they are still unhappy.
I know it is my wedding, however, it won't be enjoyable for anyone, never mind me, if they don't get some of the things they want, and I am willing to give in a few things for the greater good. I am already 'overjoyed' that I get to tell them next week that we have decided on a mexico wedding :)

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Re: Worried..

posted at 2/7/2012 9:16 AM EST on theknot.com

Maggie0829

Joined on
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BALTIMORE

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Last: 5/25/2012

Please keep in mind that you cannot make everyone happy. Do not worry about what other people are doing for their wedding...that is their day and they can make whatever decisions they want...the same goes for you and your FI. If you really want to ask your FSIL to be a BM then ask her, but do not feel obligated to do so.

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Re: Worried..

posted at 2/7/2012 10:16 PM EST on theknot.com

Tahlora

Joined on
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Last: 3/29/2012

*Laughing* I guess thats my problem, I want everyone to be happy and just cant figure out the best solution to make it happen :). I asked my friend to be a BM and she was super happy and I am so glad I asked her, she will help keep me fun. Going to ask FSIL is my FH asks anyone else to be a GM and hope for the best either way. Thanks everyone for helping me out :)

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Re: Worried..

posted at 2/8/2012 10:55 PM EST on theknot.com

Hilraythebride

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She can stand up with him. I don't like the whole honorary BM thing because its like you have to buy the dress and don't get to stand up with the rest of the WP.