"What Can We Do?!" Vent

Re: "What Can We Do?!" Vent

• Licia&Wayne

  

  May 2010

  Well, ask them what they want to do, and make sure they know you appreciate their offers and help. Many just want to take part in the ribbon tying/invite stuffing/various other little stuff they know you may need help with. So, if they want to help, I would take their offers. I think everyone gets some amount of this during their wedding planning.
  
  As far as assigning roles to themselves, it sounds like you've got that response right. Just keep politely declining and letting them know you appreciate their enthusiasm, but we've got that taken care of.

  
  It's a girl!
  

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• mbcdefg member

  

  May 2010

  I would personally call them and say something like, "We *really* appreciate the offer, but we've got everything under control for now. But if we need help with something I will defintiely let you know!" Then change the subject to something else.
  
  Is it that you don't have anything you need help with? Or that you feel funny about asking people to do stuff for you? (I do, too.) Or that you'd rather that you and FI just do everything yourselves? (DH and I were like this - we can be picky and we were happier doing everything ourselves so that we got exactly what we wanted.)

  
  

  It's fine to ask for help, and it's also fine to "assign" something if people make the offer on their own. You're not a bridezilla if someone offers her assistance and you say, "I'll be putting together favors on Sunday if you want to come over and help."

  

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• DavidandAmyClark

  

  May 2010

  I would either give them a job. Which if they are this excited, give them something!! like researching local photographers or florists or pricing SOMETHING. If they are this excited, its okay to give them something to do. Like DIY something or other.

  
  
  If you are not comfortable with that,  tell them that thank you, but I am fine.  You might want to think about giving them timed updates, like every friday so they feel included and know, that you know, they are there to help. 
  
  Or,if all else fails, just ignore them completely and turn off your phone. 

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• AshleyLR06

  

  May 2010

  Thanks! My FI and I definitely will need the help eventually. We got engaged on April 28 and are getting married on October 16. So we've just finalized all the "big stuff" (church, reception venue, caterer, photographer, etc.), and we wanted to take a breath before we got too far into the details. 
  I like the Friday update idea and taking them up on their offers to help. Maybe I could combine the two?.... Make a list of what everyone's volunteered for so far, then sending a group email so that everyone's at least on the same page. Not too bridezilla-esque?

  ~* Ash *~
  A Lu Valentine Kind of Love

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• aerinpegadrak member

  

  May 2010 edited May 2010

  Our groomswoman was SUPER excited to help.  She was like a little puppy.  Up until about two months before the wedding, when she'd ask if there was anything I needed, I'd just tell her, "No, there's not a whole lot to do right now, but I'll let you know."  (I was careful with this wording; "I don't need any help" makes it seem like there's something they could be doing, whereas "there's nothing to help with" is more neutral.)  As the wedding got closer, she helped out with the invitations and the flowers, and she and another guest helped get the suite set up for the reception.
  
  It's perfectly fine to take people up on offers for help, and it'll help save your sanity if you learn to delegate a bit.

  This is a neglected planning bio.
  This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
  
  
  Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284

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