Maid of Honor trouble

Re: Maid of Honor trouble

• MegaMultitasker

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  She said she liked the first dress, just not the price right?  Maybe ask her what she thinks is reasonable to pay...and offer to help out? Is money an issue for her or is she just looking for an excuse?
  
  Since she's giving her opinion on what she doesn't like, ask her what she suggests.  So many times people sit back and say "i don't like this, I don't like that" and when you ask them, "Ok, what do you think is a reasonable solution?" They can't think of one. and that usually shuts their mouth or they tell you what they think.
  
  You will not make all of your BMs happy, someone's not going to like their dress. If you want them to look the same--pick out 2-3 dresses YOU like and let them vote on it or say "you can wear among these styles..."
  
  And the dresses are one of the easiesr parts of the wedding, so many other issues get goofy.  If she's fighting you on this, could she get crazy on other things?

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• Kristin198623

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  Yes she liked the 1st dress and she knew how much it was and didnt say anything about it for 3 months. I asked her how much she thinks is reasonable and she couldnt give me an answer all she said was "well i dunno" I had her show me style of dresses that she liked and would flatter her figure but none of them would work on curvy or busty girls which two of my bridemaids are. I have offered to pay 1/2 of the dress for each of my girls. The new style that 4 out of the 5 agree on is about $179. Which I told them was too much but they all like the dress and want to wear it.

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• Simply Fated member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  You are never going to find one magical dress that somehow mysteriously flatters many different figures. This isn't Sisterhood of the Travelling Bridesmaids Dresses.
  
  Since she is the MOH, how about finding a dress in the same exact color as the bridesmaids dresses, but a different style?
  

  
  

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• MegaMultitasker

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  First of all, SUPER generous on your part to offer to pay for half of their dresses.
  
  If she wants a dress that would flatter her--would it be weird b/c she's the MOH to get a different dress and the bustier girls and rest of bridal party gets what works for them?  I've seen that before.
  
  Also, I was at a wedding with all different body types in the bridal party. I think they went to David's Bridal, but had the same color and got different style dresses to fit each girl.  They all looked beautiful, confident, and happy because they got what they felt comfortable in.  That's another possibility.
  
  It sounds like you've tried to meet her (more than) half way and she needs to start being a big girl about it.  She has her vision of what she'd like for her wedding--when she gets married that's when she can have that vision.  She pointed out dresses she likes--what are the price ranges on those dresses? Maybe find something along those lines.  You've asked her what she wants and she can't give you a straight answer, make an executive decision and she can decide whether she'll cooperate or not. No one is forcing her to be a bridesmaid, she accepted the honor after you asked her.

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• Kristin198623

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  The dresses she liked are between $150 and $200

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• Beachy730 member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_maid-of-honor-trouble?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:bd75fb11-a79b-4ac1-97a5-bcaa7fe4a551Post:55771c40-e33b-4bf4-9de0-557bc91be208">Maid of Honor trouble</a>:
  [QUOTE]any adivce on this situation would be appreciated I have been trying to get my bridesmaids together to go pick out dresses no one can make time to go due to conflicting schedules. So I went and picked out a dress everyone saw it online and agreed on it. My MOH said like 5 times how much she liked the dress then two days before the deposits due she says that she doesnt like the dress and doesnt wanna pay that much. (its $175) So I said ok lets go and find a different dress she couldnt find time to go yet all the other girls found time to come and we all picked out and agreed on two new dresses that are flattering on everyone. One is long and one is short( My girls have all different body types) but my MOH doesnt like either of those dresses either. I feel like she is trying to make my wedding the way she would want her wedding to be if she was getting married. How do I tell her to knock it off without sounding like I dont value her opinion?
  Posted by Kristin198623[/QUOTE]
  
  Holy run on sentences batman.  Punctuation is your friend.
  
  If she really doesn't like the dresses and the other girls do I would let her pick her own dress as the MOH in the same color.  If you don't want that, then you need to politely say "these are the dresses I have chosen for my wedding, and I hope you can agree to wear it." 

  

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• SeptemberFall2011 member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  Say what I said to a bridesmaid that had her wedding.  You go your dream.  I am getting mine. So far all my bridesmaids plus me like this dress so we are getting this dress. She took it the way I meant it which was point-blank you're outnumbered. So either step up or step down.  She stepped down and I was fine for it.

  

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• Summer2011Bride member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  It seems you have gone out of your way to accomodate her and she is being difficult. Many brides choose to let each BM pick their own style of dress, just the same color. THis might work if it is OK with you. As she is the MOH, it would also not be uncommon for her to have a slightly different dress, so you could work with her that way. I would have her find one that works for her, see if you can live with it, and have her wear that while the other girls wear something different but still similar. If that doesn't work for you, I would just have her get a dress that the other girls liked. You can't please everyone, and to me, majority rules in this case

  
  
  
  
  

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• oceana919

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  If it's okay by you, I would just let her pick a style she likes in the same color as the other girls.
  
  If it's genuinely that she does not feel comfortable in the dresses your other BMs decided on, it's probably better to just let her pick her own style. Nothing is worse as a BM than being stuck in a dress you hate or feel uncomfortable in. I imagine you'll save yourself a lot of grief and her a lot of discomfort by finding a style you are both comfortable with.
  
  If it's that she's just being a pissant to be a pissant...well, at least it'll save you the drama.

  
  

  Different dresses in the same color can look really pretty and put-together, so long as it's ok by you:

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  

   

  "Oceana swings from logical to anus punching." - Buttons

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