Saturday was the wedding. Today I thought we were home free. I was wrong.
First a little back story- I didn't want a wedding. Like at all. And if part of me did want a wedding, I wanted a really, really small one at a restaurant or something. This is impossible with FI family. I learned that pretty quickly. So one of the first things we did was make a guest list and send it to his parents for approval. For a couple months we kept checking with them and they kept saying "yup, that's a good list. no there's nobody you're missing". We did not book a venue until our guest list was set so that we knew what we were spending. We booked the venue about a year ago. 8 months ago, FI's parents came to us wanting us to invited 30 more people. We compromised and added another 10.
Today we went to lunch with FI's parents and his dad says that we should invite his friend and his wife to our wedding. FI said no and changed the subject. When we got back to the house, his dad pulled FI aside and said that we needed to invite 6 other people. FI said no and they ended up getting into a huge fight that ended with FI saying that they weren't paying, so they didn't get a say.
FSIL and I were in the other room and came in when we heard them yelling. FSIL decided to get all involved and lecture us about how this is the way Indian weddings are and that this is what he's used to. She says that they are planning on giving us a huge wedding present so that's why we should invite who they want. I finally told her that this was none of her business. We're adults and we can handle this without her. I also said that I've done plenty of compromising because this is an Indian family, but I'm done compromising. This is the United States and we're all American citizens, so let's stop acting like we're in India. I also said that they have never told us what they are giving us as a present and I wouldn't expect a dime, so I'm not making decisions about the wedding based on that.
After that, we left. I have no idea what's going to happen. His dad might cough up the money for the extra people, but for me, the money is only part of the issue. Here are the other parts:
1. I don't think they'll stop adding people
2. I feel like they keep disrespecting us by saying that the guest list is fine, but then wanting to add more people
3. I didn't want a big wedding, so I'm done adding more people to make it bigger.
4. People in their family keep inviting themselves, and they think this means we have to invite them. In my world, it's rude to invite yourself and it's not my responsibility to invite them. I realize this isn't the case in India, but this is not India.
I need a drink now.
May 2013 February Siggy: Invitations