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Advice for the September 2011 Girls
September 2010 Weddings
Advice for the September 2011 Girls
Welcome! Share all of your wedding related plans, ideas, tips, vents, and thoughts.. September 2010 Knotties, this is your best resource for all things wedding related.
For those of you that have been around here for awhile, last year around this time the September 2009 girls gave us some wonderful advice on the planning process, do's and dont's, etc. Well, now it's
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September 2010 Weddings
Advice for the September 2011 Girls
Welcome! Share all of your wedding related plans, ideas, tips, vents, and thoughts.. September 2010 Knotties, this is your best resource for all things wedding related.
For those of you that have been around here for awhile, last year around this time the September 2009 girls gave us some wonderful advice on the planning process, do's and dont's, etc. Well, now it's
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Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:594
Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:594Discussion:8994bc25-865b-4a45-b138-3c006532ced8
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Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/26/2010 1:52 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
07-02-2007 5381190022781338
Posts: 4237
First: 7/20/2009
Last: 8/9/2011
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For those of you that have been around here for awhile, last year around this time the September 2009 girls gave us some wonderful advice on the planning process, do's and dont's, etc.
Well, now it's our turn.
Please make ONE post in this thread with whatever wedding planning advice that you have for the girls. Stef will "sticky" this for the next few days and then we will pass it onto the 2011 girls next Wednesday September 1st.
Therefore, you have some time to come up with lots of good advice to pass along!
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/26/2010 2:01 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
05-05-2010
ATLANTA 6915086861077754
Posts: 555
First: 7/1/2010
Last: 12/27/2010
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Make sure you remember the day is about YOU AND FI. Don't let things spiral away from what you pictured the day to be. Your happiness is what's important in the end.
You get this day once and you don't get a redo. You and FI are allowed to be selfish -- take advantage of it!
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/26/2010 2:04 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
01-24-2009
DC AREA 6855684147337484
Posts: 4533
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Last: 5/7/2012
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Don't forget that the important part of this is that you and FI will be husband and wife at the end of everything. It's easy to get caught up in the minor details and planning stresses and snap at each other. Try to remember why you're doing all of this and take a break every once in a while for date nights and down time where you don't talk about the wedding.
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/26/2010 2:12 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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*Moderator*
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You cannot and absolutely will not make everyone happy, so don't even attempt to do so. Stay focused on what's important, what you & FI want and you honestly can't go wrong.
Try to remain as laidback as possible by staying organized and on top of the the tasks that matter - it will make the whole planning process that much easier and less stressful.
Take time away from planning and the wedding completely. It helps to keep you (& everyone else) grounded and avoid overload. Schedule date nights with FI, take weekend trips, spend quality time with your family - this is an exciting period of your life that will only happen once and you should enjoy every moment of it.
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09.25.10
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/26/2010 2:14 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
06-08-2008
TOLEDO 9371485615761562
Posts: 1335
First: 7/23/2009
Last: 3/21/2012
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One of the most important things I've learned is to wait to pick your BP. They say it all over TK. It is very true and wise advice.
Don't get discourage if you have a moment when you want to just take a break from planning. Too much at once will weigh you down. Try to plan some weekends where no wedding planning is talked about and you just enjoy some time with FI. Remind yourself why you said yes :)
Make a wedding notebook to keep everything in. Keeps your organized and you know what you've done and what you still need to do. And don't leave it on the back of your car, it will fly off (yes I'm saying that from experience).
Don't let your family get you down with demands. It is your special day.
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/26/2010 2:16 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
02-01-2010
MONTANA 5926006123089685
Posts: 117
First: 2/11/2010
Last: 2/24/2012
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Do your DIY projects when the mood strikes... Don't worry that it is "too early" to put together your bubbles (for example), if you know that it is something you really want. If you do the projects when you are excited about them, they will get done and be one less thing for you to stress about the month before your wedding.
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/26/2010 2:22 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
07-02-2007 5381190022781338
Posts: 4237
First: 7/20/2009
Last: 8/9/2011
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Oh Stef took my first word of advice, but i'll say it again anyway.
- No matter what you do, you will NEVER make everyone happy. It took me a very long time to realize this and after a while you will begin to remind yourself that it's about you and your FI, and that's all that matters at the end of the day... because YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED!! :)
- We had a very long engagement (23 months to be exact) and I constantly had people asking me why I was planning things so early. This drove me crazy, but I didn't care what they said. If you have the time to do things now, DO THEM! You will feel so much better later on... I promise!
- Try to stay organized. Keep all of your important info (contracts, receipts, etc) in one place, where you can easily access them. I have always been pretty organized, but planning a wedding has made me even more organized and I am so thankful for all of my spreadsheets, folders, etc.
- Try not to change your mind TOO many times... it can get very expensive!!
- Lastly, as the other girls have mentioned, know when to take time away from the wedding planning or even talking about the wedding. Spend quality time with your fiance and do things together that will help you to relax. I can promise you that no matter how laid back and calm you think you are, you will get stressed out once the wedding is closer... I have definitely hit that peak recently and didn't think that I would!
Good luck with the rest of your planning ladies!! It's such an exciting time in your life so ENJOY IT!!
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/26/2010 2:22 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
03-15-2009
PHILADELPHIA 5898727433574520
Posts: 1104
First: 8/16/2009
Last: 12/9/2010
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If you are trying to get your FI involved in DIY projects or registering...I say give him the gun. Scanner gun, glue gun, it's something fun to play with and they will enjoy it!
Also, use google docs and google calendar to keep you and FI in sync of what's going on with payments, appointments, etc. It's really helpful!
Good Luck! Most of all enjoy it and always remember why you are doing all this - to marry your best friend and the man that you love!
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Alison and Tom 9~11~10
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/26/2010 2:25 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
01-08-2009
TOLEDO 5327670313699514
Posts: 1768
First: 7/19/2009
Last: 4/27/2011
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Take everything in stride!!! There will be 1 million bumps in the road on the way to the wedding so make sure you dont freak out about every little thing that will go wrong! Your day will still be wonderful and make sure to enjoy every second! :) If something is amiss no one will even notice anyway :) Have fun!!! :)
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/26/2010 2:32 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
01-07-2009
CENTRAL PENNSYLVANIA 5717669398669276
Posts: 1041
First: 9/8/2009
Last: 4/4/2011
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Understand there will be a difference in what you WANT to pay, and what you WILL pay. Save a little extra for everything that comes up at the last minute. You never know everything that you will need when you first start planning.
If possible, try to find a venue with a day of coordinator. While some girls don't mind setting up/tearing down, I knew it wasn't for me! It was worth the extra cost to know that I didn't have to do anything except show up looking pretty on the day of my wedding, and go home with my new husband after it was over.
Pick things that make you happy, but remember that your bridal party is human. They should be comfortable and happy as well. If you are set on $500 dresses or professional hair and makeup, talk about it beforehand, or offer to pay. Also, they are your friends, not your slaves. Treat them as friends, and your planning will go a whole lot smoother!
Get your FI involved! As much as they may say "I dont care" or "it's up to you" - they really do care! My FI took pride in his wedding projects and appreciated that it was OUR day, not just MY day. We made wedding decisions together.
Understand you will fight and bicker with your FI, your mom, and your best friend. It happens. It too shall pass. Step away from wedding planning for a while if you need to.
Find girls on your board that you relate to. Come here often and chat. If you're like me, I am the only one in my real life group of friends planning a wedding. They don't want to talk about it 24/7! These girls will become your advice givers, DIY critique panel, personal shoppers, and sometimes - friends. Get to know them.
Don't fall into the trap of tradition if you don't want to. Stay true to yourself. I'm getting married in a baseball stadium, changing into chuck taylors, and walking down the aisle to a rock song. I would regret it any other way. Your guests will appreciate seeing "you" in your wedding.
A year seems like forever (trust me, I wanted to cry on the floor thinking about 365 days) and now that I'm down to 10, I can't believe it's here so fast! The days will go slow, but looking back, the months went fast. You don't believe me now, but you will next August.
that's all I've got.
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http://septwedding.weebly.com/
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/26/2010 2:56 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
06-10-2009
VERMONT 4868802555397334
Posts: 4636
First: 9/25/2009
Last: 5/10/2012
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-find someone to act as a day of coordinator. whether it is a friend, family member, person you hire, etc. it will be a huge help to you knowing that someone is there to help you out so you do not have to do it all. -back up any wedding documents! -do a lot of research on DIY vs. purchased. my whole wedding is DIY and without an actual venue (on my aunts farm). i thought this would save me tons of money. it didnt. it is the same cost as having it at a venue that has a coordinator do everything. and you can keep your sanity that way. -try to relax and enjoy this time as much as you can. it is so exciting! -try not to punch people in the face when they ask you when you are going to start trying to have a baby. i get this all.the.time. just smile and say "when we are ready."
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/26/2010 3:14 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
10-19-2009 6036915516841654
Posts: 135
First: 6/16/2010
Last: 9/28/2010
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My advice would be to make sure that you and your FI have a clear "big picture" and make sure that you two are on the same page. I'm finding out that he cared more than I thought he would about the little stuff. People will try to steamroll you, on what they think is what you need for the wedding. With you and your FI on the same page, you will get the wedding that YOU BOTH want; instead of letting other people "take care of" things that you thought didn't matter all that much, or settle for things just because its easier than arguing with people. Enjoy it!! This is the biggest party that you will have. Remind yourself during the frustrating times why you are doing this in the first place - to marry the one you love!!! 
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/26/2010 4:38 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
07-18-2008
BALTIMORE 8673519728279687
Posts: 14719
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Last: 5/25/2012
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- If you add the word "wedding" the price instantly increases. Don't blow your budget just because of that though. Tons and tons of research pays off.
- The wedding industry will constantly show you and tell you things that you "need" to have. You don't need those things. You need your FI, a witness, an officiant and yourself. Don't get caught up in having everything that is popular or in style.
- Its totally okay to get burned out from wedding planning, especially with a long engagement. Just keep a general guideline of when you need/want to get things done and follow that.
- Like everyone else has said, you can't make everyone happy. Inevitably something you do will rub someone the wrong way. Let it go. Honestly, its probably not worth it.
- Don't try too hard to make your wedding unique or special. Incorporate the things you like without going overboard. Remember that your wedding will be unique and special simply for the fact that its your wedding.
- Everyone, and I honestly mean everyone will have an opinion about what you should do at your wedding. Bite your tongue, change the conversation, say 'oh well keep that in mind', basically do whatever you need to do to avoid blowing up on those people.
- If someone in your family has offered you money, don't count on it until the cash is in your hand. Plan for what you can afford and use any extra money for upgrades or to do something cool on the honeymoon. Also remember that if someone offers to pay, they do get a say and you might not agree with what they want.
- Don't become so wedding focused that you lose sight of everything else. Talk to your friends, co-workers, family and FI about things other than the wedding. Many knotties will say "No one cares about your wedding as much as you do." and it is 100% true.
- Make knottie friends and use your month board. There really aren't words to explain how nice it is to have a group of people going through the same things you are at the same time. Plus, since they're all planning weddings too you can get all of your wedding chatter out to them.
- If and when your FI gets the glazed over look in his eyes when you're talking about the wedding, take a step back. Not many men are interested in planning weddings and just want to hear about the important stuff when it comes up. If you found one of those guys who wants to stuff envelopes, make DIY projects and attend every wedding vendor meeting with you, you're really lucky!
- Delegate. Unless you have a coordinator, you're more than likely going to get stressed out as the wedding gets closer. Have your mom or FMIL call the guests that didn't rsvp. See if FI can drop off that final payment to the baker.
- When you do get really stressed out, a bottle of wine is the ultimate solution! =)
- Lightly number the pack of your rsvp cards with pencil and match those numbers up to a master list. When your guests forget to fill in their name, you can just match up the number.
Thats all I can think of at the moment!
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/26/2010 5:38 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
08-03-2009
UPSTATE NEW YORK 5863849228204617
Posts: 55
First: 3/11/2010
Last: 9/8/2010
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~Remember that in the moment it is about you and your FI, and that is all that matters. People will try to talk you into things you don't want and out of things that you do want.
~Wait to pick your BP until you absolutely need to so that there are no regrets with who you pick.
~Add something DIY even if it is small because it adds little personal touches here and there.
~Know that you will at some point not want to do anything related. It could be for a day, a week, or even a month....and that IS OKAY.
~Give the FI a chance to help with wedding related issues because they do in fact care, and they will have a lot more fun with the registries if they are the ones with the scanner. (FI didn't want to put it down)
~Know that something WILL go wrong at some point, even if it happens on your wedding day. As much as you try to make it perfect there is always a little something (or a big something). It's okay when this happens too. Just take a deep breath, relax and know that it will all work out by the time it's time to walk down the aisle.
~Lastly, enjoy the planning as much as possible because most likely it will be the only time you will ever get to do it and one of the beggest moments of your life. (And it's not worth turning into a Bridzilla over anything.)
Good Luck Ladies :)
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~*~ Always & Forever ~*~
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/26/2010 5:51 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
08-10-2009
BOSTON 4604855292475799
Posts: 465
First: 8/25/2009
Last: 5/22/2011
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~Pick your BM/GM's very wisely and not too early you may regret it later.
~Make sure you set out to decide what's important to YOU and what YOU must have before you make any decisions. Just like buying a car or a house...you can live without power windows to save a few $$$ right?
~Don't tell anyone what you're making a decision on until you've signed the contract/purchased it. My mom bought a lot of stuff, fought me on a lot of stuff that I didn't NEED to buy or really even want...now we can't afford to buy a house.
~PERSPECTIVE
~Stay true to what you want, if you don't want kids there, you don't want to change your name whatever it is do what makes YOU happy.
~If you do something out of the norm (adult only reception, not change your name, desitantion wedding) be prepared for backlash. You owe no one an explanation but you're going to have to hear about it so learn to shurg it off as hard as it is.
~If you really feel like "maybe we should elope" DO IT!!! In the end no one remembers favors and what song you walked into the reception with. If it's really about you and your FI getting married...then it doesn't matter where it is.
~Enjoy the planning process and take a break. Seriously take an entire week away and make sure no one else talks about it either.
~If your'e going to get into a difficult conversation go for a walk while doing it, you won't want to yell while you're outside.
~FI's family is with you for the rest of your life so learn to grin and bear it. Unfort not every family will be supportive or care but you're stuck with them forever so keep your comments away from them, tell a BM you can trust.
~If you want to work out, dedicate yourself early and stick to it! I've used the stressed of this silly wedding as an excuse waaaay to much and now I haven't lost any weight. Make working out, eating better, teeth whitening whatever you want just as important as running home and doing table seating charts. In the end losing 5 lbs over a month in a healthy fashion is a lot more important for the rest of your life.
~Dress shop at least once by yourself so that you buy what you really want, just don't go after work. Then wait until you find the dress you can't get out of your head and buy it. I literally walked into David's Bridal with a pic of my dress from a different designer they didn't carry and said "make it better than this one".
~Don't buy your dress smaller and hope to lose weight, it's not worth the pressure you have to stay healthy!
Good luck ladies!
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/26/2010 6:20 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
02-09-2010
NORTHERN CALIFORNIA 5870013283192873
Posts: 715
First: 2/16/2010
Last: 10/11/2010
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- Don't sweat the small stuff. Really, nobody will notice that you didn't buy envelope liners for your invitations.
- If you have a huge guest list, pay someone to print your invitations instead of doing this at home.
- Negotiate any costs you can with vendors.
- Stick to your budget and don't go into credit card debt or end up owing the bank money because you took out a loan for your wedding.
- Everyone who is anyone will always ask you how your planning is going. I think the best way to answer is "it's going, thanks for asking". Rather than go into every detail.
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/26/2010 6:52 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
01-24-2010
RHODE ISLAND 8695999613346216
Posts: 1394
First: 3/24/2010
Last: 5/2/2012
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1. Wait to pick your WP - your attitudes towards some of the friends you have now may change in the future!
2. Plan the wedding that you want. Not the one your Mom wants, or the one that FMIL wants, this day is about you and FI, make sure if you have your hearts set on something, you get it.
3. My hairdresser's Mom gave me the best piece of sanity she said:
You are the only one that knows what it was supposed to look like, nobody else will even notice, to everyone that goes to the wedding, it is just a beautiful weddidng. You may become freaked out because the bows on your invitations aren't sitting perfectly. let it go.
4. If you are doing any DIY start it early, and if it isn't done within a couple weeks of the wedding, drop it. You will not have time to finish!
5 Have a great time planning! Keep things as simple and stress free as possible!!
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/26/2010 6:59 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
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Posts: 3058
First: 2/18/2010
Last: 3/27/2012
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Love your month board and your knottie sisters! I have kept sain with the help of these ladies :-)
Make sure your wedding has your fiance in it! You don't want his family to walk in and go "I didn't know Jason liked Tiffany and carriages". Even if it's a simple grooms cake and a fun sports guest book, let him be a part of it and have a say so.
Have fun and don't worry about all the little stuff! As long as everybody is full, dry, listening to great music with drink iin had they won't care about the sashes on your chair covers or the mismatching ribbons on your bubbles!!! Deep breath right now!
Everything isn't going to turn out like you planned no matter how much money your throw at it! Give room for change and be accepting of it!
Let your bridesmaids pick their dresses you got to pick yours they deserve to be comfortable and happy too! (maybe even let the guys have fun with matching shoes like retro converses)
Do what you want and put everybody else in their place! it's not your mom or MIL or SILs wedding! ITS YOURS!
Lastly have a ton of fun and enjoy every step! Don't let the wedding consume you because if you do you will lose out on special time with FI on your road to marriage! Tell him you love him often, kiss him even more and brag to the world that he is yours!
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/26/2010 8:51 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
03-25-2009
UPSTATE NEW YORK 4402736140327860
Posts: 3286
First: 7/31/2009
Last: 7/23/2011
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My main message is to keep it simple. No one is going to make fun of you (like in High School) if you don't have the best of EVERYTHING on your day. Save money where you can and spend money where you think it is important to. Personally I think photography should be your highest bill--- pictures are what will stay with you looooong after the reception halls and churches are gone.
Less is more. I promise.
I know it's easy to get tangled up in the details-- but like many other Knotties have said- remember that your wedding day is just that--- a day. Your marriage is (should be) for the rest of your life. Make these memories, take a few moments throughout the day to appreciate them and focus on what is ahead.
Ditto on what Jessie said as well--- these girls have become like a bunch of sisters! Treasure the relationships (good and bad) IRL and here on TK. the girls here will be way more understanding if you need to vent about something or want to AW a post!
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Datsyuks & Ferdy- We Go Together Like...
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/26/2010 11:06 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
05-21-2008
HUDSON VALLEY 5110469639994531
Posts: 1009
First: 7/17/2009
Last: 3/30/2012
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In the end, the most important part of the day is that you will be marrying the love of your life. Everything else is just details. Don't drive each other crazy with constant wedding banter. Set aside at least one "wedding free day" a week. Have a date night, and remember why you are getting married. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the planning, that you lose touch with each other.
Hire a Day of Coordinator. I am a major control freak, but I am letting go the day of to enjoy myself, and spend quality time with friends and family.
Do what you can afford and stick to your guns. Don't go into debt for one day, and don't let people try to tell you, that it should be done this way and not that way.
Etsy.com is your friend!
And finally, be considerate of other people involved in your wedding, especially financially. Yes it is *your* day, but remember, nobody cares as much about your wedding as you do. If your bridesmaids cannot afford a $400 dress, try to stay within their budget, if your guests cannot fathom paying $150 for a hotel room, try to find a cheaper rate.
Good luck and ENJOY! The time will fly by, and before you know it, you'll be a married woman.
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[IMG]http://i55.tinypic.com/24zht0w.jpg[/IMG]
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/27/2010 4:11 AM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
08-02-2009
SOUTH CAROLINA 5311848373412867
Posts: 269
First: 7/17/2010
Last: 12/28/2010
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Here's my advice after having to reschedule twice: Don't let anyone tell you what or how to do things,(advice is always nice),but what I mean is it's your day & you need to do what makes you and FI happy.
As the other gals have said, You can't please everyone.
lastly, here is the best advice I have received, given, heard or whatever...JUST BREATHE when it gets hectic!
Have fun no matter what!
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"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." -Marilyn Monroe
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/27/2010 7:35 AM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
08-10-2009
BOSTON 4604855292475799
Posts: 465
First: 8/25/2009
Last: 5/22/2011
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Wedding notebook is key. Make sure FI knows how to use it. Keep important numbers, dates of conversations etc. Keep a folder of wedding emails too (from vendors, coordinator, BM's etc) so that you can reference things faster.
Love your knottie friends. People will get sick of hearing about your wedding (as will you) so use these lovely ladies. It also helps to hear someone else has your issue, if not a bigger problem.
SHOP AROUND vendors can charge less and there are better vendors out there NEVER GO WITH THE FIRST dress, vendor, site you find.
When you find your dress and buy it, DON'T look at another dress for at least 2 weeks, you'll start to question if you picked the right dress.
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/27/2010 8:08 AM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
08-31-2009 9707873218658707
Posts: 1947
First: 5/5/2010
Last: 12/15/2010
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There is so much good advice above, it will be hard to follow! I have been thinking about what to post for a little bit and I hope it's helpful to you :)
-Find a way to be at peace with your decisions. Once you make them, sign a contract, accept that as your choice. Don't keep second guessing yourself on the dress, the colors, the venue. You picked them for a reason. You are what will make everything beautiful.
-With that said, take TIME to make decisions. At the beginning you will feel so rushed to just PICK SOMETHING, but it's really important to give your choices some thought, and don't be afraid to shop around with vendors. Go to a few and say, can you beat this? What can you offer me?
-Throughout the process, don't let others or even vendors make you feel like they are "doing you a favor" by working for your wedding. You are paying them, no matter how little or how much, you deserve everything they've got.
-Give FI tasks that he is 1. capable of completing 2. interested in. No, he might not want to tie bows on your DIY project, but would he like to make your wooden card box, hot glue gun the programs, or make the music list for the DJ? Be attentive to his interest when delegating tasks. Oh, and remember that this stuff comes naturally to some of us, but def. not most men.
-Rely on your FI. Sometimes, you won't have anyone else. Use this time to really connect. Have fun together. Don't end every night in fights. Take a break, or three. Talk to him like a human being. Express when you're upset or frustrated or exhausted without yelling.
-STAY ORGANIZED. Cannot stress this one enough. I have an accordion folder I got 2 weeks after I was engaged. It has never left my side and it contains EVERYTHING. It has helped me...save money, stay on top and stay sane. Plus, you carry your wedding around with you, so you can always show things off to coworkers, family, friends, and get valuable feedback.
-Lastly, get on and stay on the boards!! They have been so helpful and supportive to me. As someone who planned the entire day pretty much by myself it was so nice to have people asking how it was going and caring about the things I was going through who would actually relate. Don't let your feelings get hurt when someone disagrees with you, either. Stand your ground, and stand up for yourself. It feels so good when you do!
Good luck! In what will seem like an INSTANT you will be where I am.... 8 days out. I get chills just thinking about it, but try to always keep in mind the feeling of being 8 then 7 then 6 days out from marrying the man of your dreams. It gets hard but it is so worth it ladies! Do not give up!
<33 Lots of Love, Lia
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/27/2010 8:33 AM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
03-23-2009
BOSTON 4768734054079111
Posts: 1547
First: 7/15/2009
Last: 12/3/2011
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** This has been said above already, but I can't stress it enough: plan YOUR wedding. Not your mother's, your FMIL's, your MOH's - YOURS. There will inevitably be friends and loved ones (with good intentions) who will try to put their own stamp on your wedding. Remember you cannot and do not need to make everyone happy, and it is ok to say no. Don't let anyone send you on a guilt trip for planning the wedding that makes you and your FI happy.
** Eloping is not an unobtainable option that stressed out brides talk half-heartedly about. If you really, truly, deeply want to elope, do it and have a big reception for everyone when you get back. FI and I originally wanted a destination wedding and our planning evolved into an elaborate affair on Cape Cod for all our family and friends. We're so excited and happy but at the same time I don't know how we got so far away from our original vision.
** Focus on your FI. You might be doing the majority of the planning and putting hours of time into every little detail. Why? Because you love your FI and know you have a future with him. Keep the foundation strong. Spend days and weekends away from wedding planning. Make sure you two spend time together (because your life will suddenly become even more busy as it gets closer and closer!) and never go to bed angry.
** Try as hard as you can to adopt a laid back approach to the wedding planning. FI and I have a 1.5 year engagement (which I originally thought was WAY too long). But it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I had alot more time to plan and get things done at my own pace without getting stressed or feeling rushed about ANYTHING. If you have a longer engagement, as frustrating as you might think it is, it is your friend. Cherish the extra time.
** Thank everyone who gives their own time to help you - your mother, sister, aunt, grandmother, friends etc. All of these people love you and want your day to be beautiful. Make sure they know how much you appreciate them!
Good luck ladies! The year flies by! <3
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"Imperfection is beauty; madness is genious. And it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring" ~ Marilyn Monroe
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/27/2010 8:38 AM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
07-01-2009
PHILADELPHIA 8846820435495966
Posts: 3617
First: 2/5/2010
Last: 11/10/2011
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Before you start talking about your wedding with anyone, talk to FI and figure out what you guys really want. Get married in a way that's meaningful to you two - in the end, that's what it's about. If you're not traditional, don't do a traditional wedding. Do something that is "you" and that will make all the planning and paying worth it.
Stand your ground on things that are important to you about your day, and let things that are not important wash away in the shower.
If you are not a DIY person, do not give yourself a bunch of DIY projects to do for the wedding.
Explore your options and price things out before buying/committing. What might not seem expensive up front in October might hurt when you're making final payments in August and September.
Things will go wrong during your planning and possibly even on your wedding day. Accept it and make peace with it.
Don't make your girls spend a lot on their dresses. They have accessories and hair and travel and shower and gifts and bachelorette stuff to pay for too!
Keep a To Do list and look at it weekly, but give yourself a break in planning. If it's all wedding all the time all year, you'll end up hating it and everyone will avoid you. There are other things in life besides your wedding and remembering that is so important!
Not everyone will be able to come to your shower, BP, or wedding. It's YOUR shower, YOUR bp, YOUR wedding. Whoever is there is supposed to be there, whoever isn't, isn't. Don't get your knickers in a knot over it.
Things will get stressful as the time gets shorter and the payments loom larger - try to take some time with FI and remember why you're getting married in the first place!
STAY ORGANIZED! I used a binder for this.
STAY on top of your vendors!
HAVE FUN!
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/27/2010 9:09 AM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
06-29-2009
SOUTH CAROLINA 4278818982502237
Posts: 437
First: 7/30/2009
Last: 12/17/2010
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--Get a binder. With dividers. You will need it.
--It's ok to change your mind. 5 times. or 20. or 50/11.
--If your FI wasn't proactive before don't expect him to start now. Just keep planning and leave him alone. And remember he will come anywhere with you when food involved. Soooo...cake tasting, reception tasting and wedding festivals.
--Michaels is the place to be but not without those 40-50% off coupons. --When people decline invites to showers etc smile and have a blast without them. Things will be ok. --You can't invite everyone. DO NOT feel bad about this.
--The closer you get the more you stress just remember that you chose everything you did for a reason and you will have an awesome wedding no matter what. At the end of the day you will be married to the love of you life!
--REMEMBER THIS IS YOUR WEDDING.
--Breathe.
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/27/2010 10:10 AM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
08-19-2009
LEHIGH VALLEY/POCONOS 9297862648899392
Posts: 1471
First: 3/23/2010
Last: 4/25/2012
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-If you are a demanding bride who insists on specific dress, shoes, jewelry for your bridesmaids, they will complain. If you are a laidback bride who lets them do whatever they want, they will complain. Don't hesitate to be specific about what you want - your BM's knew what they were getting into when they signed up.
-Your wedding is just one day. Don't kill friendships over it.
-NOBODY will care as much about your day as you do. And that's okay. Use your knotties so that your friends & family don't get sick of hearing about the wedding.
-Since it can't be said enough, you CANNOT and WILL NOT make everyone happy. Focus on making yourself & FI happy - everyone else will survive. And be sure the two of you are putting up a united front. If your FMIL doesn't like the answer she gets from you, she will go to your FI. You two need to be on the same page so outsiders aren't getting mixed messages.
-At the end of the day, if you end up married, it was a successful day. Keep this in mind not only on that day, but through all the planning too.
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For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/27/2010 10:29 AM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
09-03-2008
LANSING 5983560447149670
Posts: 1692
First: 6/8/2009
Last: 2/23/2012
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So many good things are said above, and I will probably repeat some of it, but really, take it to heart, we've been there.
- Time is your friend, especially in a long engagement. (mine was just over 2 years). You can save/make more money, research and bargain more, and have time to complete all the little details you might want to DIY. Don't take it for granted, time also flies by when you don't pay attention.
- Don't get stuck on something you see here on TK as the ONLY way you can do something. There are always other options... explore them. This can be applied to flowers, your dress, CPs, invitations... so many things.
- DON'T put off your DIY projects. I really liked the look of ribbon poms, and decided I would make 20 of them to decorate the sanctuary. I STILL have 3 to make. *sigh* I still love them, but if I never see another one in my entire life it will be WAY too soon.
- Accept help people offer you. FI and I are planning pretty much everything ourselves, and though I spent hours designing our invites, I welcomed the help of my BMs to put all 75 of them together. I am SO glad I did. All that printing, cutting, sticking and stuffing would've driven me up the wall if I did it by myself. Even if every one wasn't perfect! It WILL be okay!
- ENJOY.every.minute. This is a one time thing! The only thing that matters in the end is that little piece of paper that says you and FI are married! All the little stuff is just a bonus!
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/27/2010 10:45 AM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
01-06-2008
ST. LOUIS 9665352588979062
Posts: 270
First: 10/12/2009
Last: 9/13/2010
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I have a few....
BUDGET: Stick to it. If you must pay more for flowers, cut from something else. FI made the mistake of giving me a bottomless budget, and I have nearly wiped out our savings. Do I think it was worth it for one day? NO, but we will have the party of our lives!! DO NOT put wedding on credit. Why start your lives out in debt or in more debt?
Do not drink coffee over your new invitations, otherwise, like me you will pay a high price for new inviations just a few weeks out from date.
Make sure DIY is CHEAPER and better than professionals. I decided to make pomander balls for shepards hooks to line driveway. $2500 later, they are beautiful, but the time and price was far over my head.
Enjoy "me" time along the way. Take time off from wedding stuff. You will need the breaks from time to time. Don't stress out about being "behind schedule". It will get done.
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Re: Advice for the September 2011 Girls
posted at 8/27/2010 4:39 PM EDT
on theknot.com
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Joined on
06-06-2009
COLORADO 9124799281833113
Posts: 670
First: 3/18/2010
Last: 10/5/2010
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There is so much good advice here. I will repeat a few things because I think they were really important. I also have a few things of my own to add.
-Find out what FI's ideas are first. Don't get your heart set on something that he really hates, or vice versa.
-You can't make everyone happy. You have to make decisions and stick to them. Don't tell really opinionated people what you are doing, they will just have you defending yourself.
-Don't try too hard to make your wedding unique. With the 1000's of weddings every year, I can pretty much assure you that someone else has done it. I have totally embraced doing what others have done already and I am happy with it. It will make it feel like a wedding. And no one will have your exact wedding because it's you and your FI, and that hasn't been done before. Your combination of venue and vendors will be unique.
-Don't bring too many opinionated people with you to look for your dress. Maybe just bring one person who's truly interested. I invited my mom, my sister and my BM's out to see it, and it ended up being a disappointing experience.
-Don't let your BM's start looking at dresses until you're sure of what you want. If you have a really strong opinion, then choose one with just MOH. Of all my planning the BM dress choosing experience was the worst.
-Ask others on TK what they are doing and what their opinions are. It made me feel sane and listened to.
-Don't buy too many things too early. Until everything is coming together you won't really know what you will end up using. A lot of my original ideas went by the wayside and I have some unused stuff.
-Don't feel like you have to do everything. I'm not doing favors, programs, menus or embossed napkins. With three weeks left I feel really good about this!!
-Consolidate vendors if you can. You'll need to be in contact with vendors a lot, and if you have less to contact it will make your life easier. I have one contact for ceremony, reception, food, cake, and drinks. I am very glad I did this.
-It's not too early to start looking at venues or booking vendors. It will take awhile to figure this stuff out and you'll appreciate having time to wedding plan and have a life.
-Figure out what's really important to you and stand your ground on those things. Let everything else go.
-Don't sign yourself up to do a ton of DIY projects. I did one (my cardbox) and that was plenty for me.
-You can't invite everyone. I decided that if I don't see you outside of work, or the group, that I'm not inviting you. I pretty much stuck to that, and it has made things easier.
Enjoy your planning!!! "You're gonna miss this. You're gonna want this back. You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast. These are some good times, so take a good look around..." |
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RSVP Date: August 20th