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Destination Weddings Discussions

Does this count as a DW? Is it totally weird/rude?

So...here's the situation. My parents are quite adamant about us getting married in my hometown, a 5 hour drive away from where we live, and I am happy to do so. My grandma (who is 84) lives there, as well as other older family friends, and I wouldn't want them to have to make the trip down here. Our parents' house is also really nice and big, so we can have people stay with us, and we can also have people over for the rehearsal dinner and after the ceremony. These guests will be almost all relatives, with some older family friends/church people, so we won't be having any drinking, dancing, or loud music. It will be a time to eat and visit with friends. The church ceremony will be under 30 minutes.

I still do want a reception with alcohol, toasts, dancing, etc., and FI and I are set on having it at our favourite restaurant here where we live, and we want to invite our younger, local, non-church-going friends from swimming, school, and work. I know that they are much more excited about the drinking and dancing than driving 5 1/2 hours for a 30 minute ceremony. 

The tentative plan is to have our church ceremony on the Friday afternoon, followed by food and visiting at my parents' place, then a brunch on the Saturday morning. Then we'll drive down here and have our reception at the restaurant on the Sunday evening. The only people coming from the ceremony to the formal reception will be immediate family and the WP.

Does this sound ok? I feel like our guests fit into two different demographic categories and I think they would all be happy with this sort of arrangement. It's sort of like having a DW and AHR, but only two days apart...can I do this?

Re: Does this count as a DW? Is it totally weird/rude?

  • I think that sounds like an awesome plan!!  Maybe just extend the invite to the ceremony, just in case any of your party friends WANT to actually see you get married.  But if they're cool just celebrating with you after, I think it sounds perfect!!  I'd be cool with that, as a guest.

    Good luck and keep us posted! :)
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  • I'm sure you are going to get a lot of different opinions, but this is YOUR day. So I would figure out what wedding you want. Who do you want to celebrate with? What reflects you as a couple? I don't think the two have to be mutually exclusive - your wedding day is the day you get married.

    As much as your parents are pushing you to do it one way, if they aren't paying anything what they say can be seen as a suggestion. If they are paying, you have to go along with it or pay for it yourself. It's not that bad, a lot of couples on here are doing that.

    I would sit down with your FI and discuss what you want your wedding to be. And discuss alternatives, but you and your family need to compromise (if you want their input). Maybe you can have the ceremony in your church, and have a reception catered by your favorite restaurant? There is no reason you can't have a bar and dancing (depending on space/budget).

    You are all adults, make a list of wants, needs, and good ideas and rank away. 

    Good luck!
  • The thing with Destination Weddings is that the etiquette isn't quite as cut and dry... I would extend the invite for the ceremony incase your friends want to travel (IF you have the space/budget to have them attend), you'll be surprised who would be up for the trip :) But I definitely dont' think your plans are rude :) They sound great!
  • I think this sounds perfectly fine. And so much fun !

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  • This sounds fun! I think it’s a good idea and like PP said, just extend the ceremony invite to all in case they want to make the trek.

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  • I agree with PP, sounds like a great idea! If you were a close friend of mine, I'd travel the 5 or so hours to see you get married and attend the party/reception on Sunday!
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  • Thanks for the input, everyone!
  • I hope you stick around the board more so we can hear more about your plans as they develop :)
  • Sounds good to me! It's YOUR day. 

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