Invites and Paper

Divorced parents, not all helped, invite wording...

Both my parents, and his parents are divorced, neither are remarried. My mom is the one paying for most of the wedding, but his dad gave us money (a good amount) for either the wedding or the house. We chose to use the money for the house, but it really helped us out.

I'm wondering how to word the invitation, because his mom and my dad didn't pitch in at all, and I want my mom and his dad to be recognized!
HELP!!!

Re: Divorced parents, not all helped, invite wording...

  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    "Together with their families" or "Together with the parents" would work.  But if you want to list the parents' actual names, it is supposed to be those who are hosting the wedding that have their names listed, and hosting does not necessarily equal paying for.  However, IMO, if you say the usual "Daughter of _______ " sort of thing, I think you should say both of your parents' names and if you want to say his dad's name, include both his parents.  Example of divorced parents wording:
    "Mrs. Eve Smith
    Mr. John Smith
    Request the pleasure of etc."
    image
  • Well paying doesn't mean hosting, and being listed on an invitation is not an honor - it merely states who is hosting your wedding. 

    Honestly, in this situation, I'd do the "Together with their parents..." wording and call it a day.

    Otherwise, you'd do something like:

    Ms. Bridesmother
    Mr. Groomsfather
    request the pleasure of your company 
    at the marriage of their children
    Nina
    and Nina's FI
    etc.
    image
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    The wording of a wedding invitation is based on who is hosting the wedding.

    Determining who the hosts are is based on the role they are playing in the wedding itself, not who's paying for it, because that's none of the guests' business.  "Hosting" for the purpose of wedding invitations is based on who is issuing the invitations, receiving the replies, greeting the guests, and seeing to their needs-regardless of how much anyone is contributing. If any of the parents aren't doing that, then their names don't go on the invitation, because they are not hosting-regardless of how much they are contributing financially.

    Invitations aren't playbills or "credits."  One does not buy a mention on an invitation by contributing to the costs.
  • Who is hosting the wedding? That's who's going to go in the first line of the invite (the host line). It sounds like it's probably either your mother or the two of you (and your mom just helped you out financially). You used his dad's money for your house and it doesn't sound like he's involved in hosting - is that correct?

    If it's the two of you hosting:

    "The honour of your presence 
    is requested at the marriage of...." (use this for a wedding taking place in a church)
    or
    "The pleasure of your company
    is requested at the marriage of...." (use this for a non-church wedding) 

    If it's your mom who's hosting:
    "Ms. Jane Smith 
    requests the honor of your presence...."
    or 
    "Ms. Jane Smith 
    requests the pleasure of your company...."
    *********************************************************************************

    image
  • Everyone in both our families have pretty much chipped in somewhat, so we left out that whole part and just started with

    The honor of your presence is requested at the marriage of .....

  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    5000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Who is hosting the wedding? That's who's going to go in the first line of the invite (the host line). It sounds like it's probably either your mother or the two of you (and your mom just helped you out financially). You used his dad's money for your house and it doesn't sound like he's involved in hosting - is that correct?

    If it's the two of you hosting:

    "The honour of your presence 
    is requested at the marriage of...." (use this for a wedding taking place in a church)
    or
    "The pleasure of your company
    is requested at the marriage of...." (use this for a non-church wedding) 

    If it's your mom who's hosting:
    "Ms. Jane Smith 
    requests the honor of your presence...."
    or 
    "Ms. Jane Smith 
    requests the pleasure of your company...."
    Although the OP was asking about wording regarding families, please be aware that @southernbelle makes a subtle but clear distinction that the other posters have not.......
    you only request "the pleasure........" when the ceremony is being held in a non church setting.  For church ceremonies, the wording does require, "the honour......".
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