Think BF's CW likes him - your opinion?

Hummingbird125

Ok so I'm waiting at the kid's house with 2 hours to kill before she's done hanging out with friends, and I don't feel like driving back and forth. If I wasn't bored, I would not even post this, but I'm curious about your take!

Background: BF works for a start-up, in a small office in Manhattan. He recently got two new young female coworkers. One he describes as really quiet and kind of uptight, the other he calls "the mess" because she's always late and talks really loudly, among other reasons.

About two weeks ago, on a Sunday night, he got a text from her and opened it right in front of me. It said "What are you song?" We laughed about it, and she sent a correction a few seconds later, "what are you doing?". I, said "I think she LIKES you!" and BF ignored me, and the texts. A few minutes later he got another text from her, saying:

"I'm tired but would live to cuddle" [sic]

Then:

"*love to cuddle"

Luckily I was buzzed from a few glasses of wine, because I found it funny more than anything else. BF was shocked and couldn't believe this girl was texting him like this, though they have the same title, he acts as her manager in several ways - AND he talks about me regularly enough that there is no way this girl doesn't know he has a serious GF.

After another few minutes (bf did not respond at all). She texts:

"OMG SO SORRY in datig a guy nemed [bf's name] and got you mixed up!" [sic]

She then followed up with about ten more texts expressing her embarrassment and apologies. Everything *kind of* made sense at that point except I told BF that there's a chance the texts WERE meant for him, but when he didn't respond she freaked out and backtracked. He didn't buy that at all, and totally believed it was just a mix up.

This past Friday she texted him a few times from happy hour with their other coworker, telling him they were out and asking if he was jealous they were out without him. He responded back with as few words as possible. Again, I told BF I thought this girl had a thing for him because when I was single, I did not text opposite text co-workers just to be friendly. If I liked someone, however, being out for HH would be a perfect excuse to contact him.

Then, Saturday night at 10:30pm, she texted him "what's up?". He didn't respond.

Am I just crazy or, if you were in my shoes, would you think this girl is interested?

I have complete trust in my BF, and have nothing to worry about, but we definitely disagree about what might be going on here. He doesn't think there is any chance she's into him, while I think there's at least a pretty good chance she is. What do you think?

loves2shop4shoes

I think she's interested in him.  If it was truly an accident the first time, she would be extra cautious about all future texts sounding even remotely flirtatious. 

I think she backtracked when he didn't reply.

That being said, men are often oblivious when someone is flirting with/interested in them.  There have been a few times where someone was flirting with/hitting on DH...and he just didn't see it.  Even after I pointed it out, he still didn't see it.  It just sort of is what it is.

If you trust your BF (and it doesn't sound like you have any reason not to), it's NBD.

He might want to have a conversation with her though about the inappropriate nature of her text messages.

bethsmiles

I agree with @loves2shop4shoes. I know my BF is always completely oblivious when other women flirt with him.

I'm a little shocked at how inappropriate his co-worker is being though!

beanbot2002

El senor has a coworker that was/is interested in him. She came over to our house and literally flirted with him RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I was irritated but tried to be calm about it. But he knew it bothered me. He reminded me that he would never do anything, and I do trust him. She continued to text him, etc

Then it got to where she started baking cookies for him. It was then that I said "Listen, enough is enough." He agreed and took her aside and said "Unless it is a work related emergency, please do not call or text me. It's inappropriate and I don't appreciate it." Far as I know, she hasn't had much contact with him than what is necessary for work. 

ETA: el senor was completely oblivious to the flirting in the beginning. It wasn't until after I pointed out that the only folks that should be baking for him on a regular basis are his mother and I, that he realized this was more than just a friendly coworker.

Hummingbird125

@beanbot2002 - that's insane! I'm happy he said something, it was time!

Happy to see I'm not totally misreading the signs - I do think BF is just totally oblivious. I don't think it's at the point where he needs to speak with her about it yet, but if she continues to text him and doesn't get the hint even though he's not responding, I'll ask him to say something.

She apparently didn't even show up for work today and didn't let their boss know she wasn't coming in. I doubt she'll be working there much longer anyway...

CLoGreenEyes

She does sound interested and also super-immature. Obviously you have nothing to worry about, but at least your BF is aware of what you see. He may not get it right now, but at least he won't be totally blindsided if she does something wildly inappropriate and will be able to say something right then.

KeptInStitches

She's totally inappropriate, but this is probably NBD since it seems like he's not interested in her.

CrazyCatLady3

He should block her texts and then tell her he shut down texting on his cell because it was getting too expensive.  It's inappropriate for her to be texting her coworker like that!

katieg520

As much as I trust my FI, the crazy in me comes out in situations like that. There was a chick that was interested in my FI and texted him. I handled that situation. I told her in no uncertain terms that if she were to text him again, I'd be making a personal house call in person to handle it next time. I don't play games like that. You know he has a gf and for you to continue to text him like that is very disrespectful to me and rude.

phira

She definitely sounds 1) super young/immature, and 2) interested in your guy. When I say "immature," I don't really mean it in like ... a super negative way. Just, she sounds very young and it sounds like she's not really thinking things through.

Even if you and boyfriend are mostly like, "What even is this?" and are not worried about it, I would still suggest to your boyfriend that he cut this behavior off now. Something like, "You have my cell phone number for [this specific work-related reason]. Please do not call or text me unless it's work related." Then don't ever reply to any of her texts/calls that are not work related.

One of my former students ended up working with me a semester later as a teaching assistant, so he had my phone number. He definitely called me once, because he was trying to call a friend with the same first name. He was REALLY confused when I answered (as was I when he called!), but after figuring out what happened, he hasn't called/texted me by accident again. So I find it hard to believe this young woman is still texting your boyfriend by accident.

My partner is actually not terribly oblivious to flirting. Apparently, he went to a party where there were lots of hipster/alternative/radical people in attendance, and when word got out that he was a feminist, he was fending off interested parties. "I have a girlfriend" was not an effective deterrent. I am so bummed out that I was sick that night because I would have paid money to see that.

Hummingbird125

He is set on not responding to any of her non-work-related texts ever - I was always the one who wanted him to respond because I wanted to see what this girl would say, but that was kind of immature on my part. Also, he's only going to go to HH with the 2 girls if I meet him there. I just do NOT get how girls can be like this with a guy in a relationship.

I had a fairly close friendship with a male coworker who was married, we had lunch together every day and I've babysat his 1 year old son several times. However, I never text or call him, other than for a professional reason (asking him to be a reference or something), and we communicate mainly via gchat now that we don't work together and even that isn't very often. I barely know his wife, and I don't think she'd be comfortable with me reaching out to him in a friendly way on a regular basis, so I don't, simple as that.

500days

Hummingbird125 said:

He is set on not responding to any of her non-work-related texts ever - I was always the one who wanted him to respond because I wanted to see what this girl would say, but that was kind of immature on my part. Also, he's only going to go to HH with the 2 girls if I meet him there. I just do NOT get how girls can be like this with a guy in a relationship. I had a fairly close friendship with a male coworker who was married, we had lunch together every day and I've babysat his 1 year old son several times. However, I never text or call him, other than for a professional reason (asking him to be a reference or something), and we communicate mainly via gchat now that we don't work together and even that isn't very often. I barely know his wife, and I don't think she'd be comfortable with me reaching out to him in a friendly way on a regular basis, so I don't, simple as that.

 I had a similar relationship with a married man that taught at my school. Needless to say, he no longer works there- partially due to what happened. We ate lunch in a group with other people everyday. We had an adjoining door between our classrooms so we would frequently walk through each others rooms when there was too much going on in a hallway. We had casual conversations (through the open adjoining door) after school while we corrected papers. Never texted, never hung out or even emailed. Well shit hit the fan. He accidentally called his wife my name one day on front of our principal. According to the school we had an emotional affair. Neither of us agreed, but apparently male and female teachers should never be friends. I feel really bad for the wife because she didn't seem that upset, and I hope she isn't messed up from the "school drama". 

OnceUponAVine

Definitely sounds like she's into him but he also sounds like the typical male: He's too into you to even realize she's flirting.

That being said he may want to have a conversation with her at work about appropriate text messaging.